{ She took a deep breath, & let it go }

among the myriad passion, dreams and love that stirs deep in my heart, you are the absolute last to mention, and most cutting to let go. this soul disfiguration is extremely foreign to me; one i feared most and was previously successful in avoiding. but now as i am found in this tormenting situation, the reality has struck beyond denial. you seem to have taken over my mind space, and feeling nostalgic with the memories and places we've adventured has also obstruct the restorative process. 

feeling entirely unwanted, unloved and unvalued without a consideration is painfully destructive. i have simply no more words left, except a final admiration to every bit of your labor of kindness, respect and well meaning grace despite some weathered storms. have never felt this deep and intense for anyone. guess this is a mere preview to the real thing. so, to the very first who fought through the great wall and prepared a path for my last, thank you. 

truly wish you the very best as your path gets brighter, hitting every mark you desire. and before this door finally closes behind me, i have found something for your ears and heart to be enlighten with. have already seen you living out every word without being in your future. take care J., your world and beautiful clan have been a delightful grace gift to me -- which one day, it will all be cherished beyond anything else by another willing and deeply appreciative soul.

you are strong,

you are brave,

you are capable,

the most valuable creation.

you have ability,

you have potential,

you have gifts given to you,

you have talents to share with the world.

you are a writer,

an athlete,

an inventor,

an artist,

a musician,

a technician,

and these talents will change people.

you have joy to spread,

you have jokes to tell,

kind words to give,

and wisdom to bestow;

and that joy will change people.

you are full of more amazing qualities, 

traits, virtues than you can ever imagine;

given by God who loves you,

and loves you for who you are.

regardless of who you may think you are,

the reality is that you have a responsibility;

that you have a power inside of you,

a power that was formed in the beginning of time,

there is a man inside of you that is waiting to burst forth,

and change the world.

one who loves, encourages, comforts, shares, teaches, laughs, cries,

and who builds up those around you.

that man is where your strength lies,

that man is where your potential lies.

and that man is where your gifts, talent, courage, ability and joy lies.

and your responsibility is to find that man,

and set that man free.

you will bring change to our brokenworld.

you are treasured

entrusted and loved above all things

and don't you forget it

this is who you are

my heart strings are now lose. the very ultimate has been irrevocably released. i can hear the gentle footsteps of freedom around the corner. all heart issues takes time to recover, and like A said, healing and growth comes hand in hand. it is still raw and challenging, but somehow an inner strength appears as the days goes by. seems like all my crossroads are now morphing into a new season. and whatever newness that is, i am completely leaving it to the hands of grace.