#Conviction: My reward = Giving glory to You.

'Oh Lord You´re Beautiful' /// Jesus Culture

"And when I'm doing well help me not to seek a crown,

for my reward is giving glory to You."

It is a pure fact that once we are hitting that spotlight in our platform,

there is a slight tendency that we incline to men's approval and recognition.

Is the crown that necessary?

In everything that we do, we do it for His kingdom's cause.

We want more of Him, and less of self-dependency and ability.

At the end of it all, the only one who deserves the true glory,

is the one who has placed us in positions of influence and change.

@God: Glory and praise to You, for it is only Your eyes I want to please.

#livingYourword.

I just want to be where You are.

Moving on to all things new.

Expecting God to blow my socks off.

I will seek You, and delight in Your kingdom.

Coming ever so boldly to Your throne of grace.

"I just want to be where You are,

dwelling daily in Your presence.

I don't want to worship from afar,

I just want to be with You.

I want to be where You are,

dwelling in Your presence.

Feasting at  Your table,

surrounded by Your glory.

In Your presence,

that's where I only want to be.

I just want to be,

I just want to be with You."

(Drawing nearer to You like never before.)

Gravitating back to Singas, yet again.

Ah, my first entry of the new year and on Singapore grounds.

Right at the comfort of my own home that is still sweet.

It has been almost a month-ful of events;

with the permanent move back and Hong Kong and Taiwan with the girls..

I must say, most were unexpected hence not emotionally prepared for. 

After the farewells;

which keeps replaying throughout my constant movements between Perth and Singapore,

I still am not use to saying and mouthing words:

"Goodbye"

to the people whom I have formed such a relationship with and have made a difference in my life. 

[A moment of tearing to the memories back in Perth..] 

"God, You're still good." - Selah~

It is definitely not an easy job,

especially leaving at a point of comfort and deeply built circle.

But as the saying goes,

"That's life."

God places seasonal blessings in your life only for that period for enjoyment,

and with a new season He has new ones lining up and in His time,

it will be just as beautiful or even better. 

We all gravitate back to where we belong.

No matter how far or long it took us to get here. 

Adjustment is not one for my liking,

but thank God He has increased my adaptability to changes;

which I hope is still in placed for my final environment change. 

Yet to find my bearings,

as I feel utterly lost to everything that I was once used to. 

Singapore, a stranger of unfamiliarity's whilst being a face amongst the crowd again.

People who were once close,

now will have to restore back lost times amongst the years of innings and outings.

"Previous.. friend?" - Quote and unquote from 'The Dark One'.

Getting back into it is quite a feeling but in all things,

He is doing it for me.

And all I can do now is my part of trusting and holding on to His goodness.

"Time will heal itself.."

Now, it is just taking it one day at a time;

finding a job/position, care-group and ministry.

Ah, the joy of staring all over. 

At least I got Him with me.

I am ready to let go of what has been, 

and moving forward to what is going to be. 

All I know is,

"It is going to be good."

First time worship for cell.

Beginning Word

2 Corinthians 1:3-6, 8-10 (New Living Translation)

All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. For the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ. Even when we are weighed down with troubles, it is for your comfort and salvation!

We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure, and we thought we would never live through it. As a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead. We have placed our confidence in him, and he will continue to rescue us.

-----

1. You Deserve The Glory

V.

You deserve the glory

And the honor

We lift our hands in worship

As we praise Your holy name

C.

For You are great

You do miracles so great

There is no one else like You

There is no one else like You

-----

2. I See Grace

V1.

Jesus my help, I call on Your name 

I cast my cares on You 

Jesus my hope, my tower of strength 

My faith is found in You 

Pre-C.

I see You pierced, wounded for me 

When I look to the cross I see 

C.

I see grace, sealed by Your sacrifice 

I see love reaching for me 

Precious blood washes and sanctifies 

Healing flows, setting me free 

I see grace 

V2. 

Bearer of sin, afflicted and tried 

You paid redemption's price 

Bearing my curse, You've set me on high 

Your death has brought me life

-----

3. Jesus You're My Lord

V1.

Jesus You're my Lord

Jesus You're my God

You're the lifter of my head

The glory of my life

You are the saviour of my soul

V2.

Jesus You're my Lord

Jesus You're my God

You're the lifter of my head

The glory of my life

You are the saviour of my soul

The saviour of my soul

-----

4. I Will Follow After You

I will follow after You

As long as my soul lives

I will lift up my hands

Unto thy name O Lord

My mouth shall praise You

Because You have been my help

In the shadow of Your wings

Will I rejoice my Lord

Your loving kindness

Overwhelms my soul O Lord

And I will bless You

I will love You

All my life

-----

Ending Word

Habakkuk 2:1-3 (NLT)

I will climb up to my watchtower,

and stand at my guardpost.

There I will wait to see what the Lord says,

and how he will answer to my complaint.

Then the Lord said to me,

“Write my answer plainly on tablets,

so that a runner can carry the correct message to others.

This vision is for a future time.

It describes the end, and it will be fulfilled.

If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently,

for it will surely take place.

It will not be delayed.

-----

Revelation

God has already mapped out and planned our future

He is always one step ahead of us

Sometimes in life, we may feel like we're neither here or there.

Even after we pray and seek Him.

Enjoy your now and present state instead of rushing Him.

Certainly all good things will surely come to past.

His blessings will come not a minute late or early.

Answers that we seek will come at the right place and right time.

We want to make not a good decision but a God decision.

Instead of fighting, we should just wait upon the Lord.

The best is definitely yet to come.

We ain't seen nothing of His goodness and blessings.

Right now, just rest in His finished work.

Conviction Alert.

Living for You, and no one else.

All I need is You Lord.

I will fall at Your feet..

"Let Your will be done."

(Coming back to The Father)

Giving it all to You.

Divine appointments are not coincidence but more of an God incident.

It is all about being the right place and the right time with your need at hand.

Things change, people's lives are transformed and circumstances improves.

To bring everything to Him takes courage and openness to allowing Him to do what He has already planned.

His ways and thoughts are always greater.

Be in His timing which allows Him to do His will.

For your sake, give it all to Him; He will settle it.

Didn't He do that at the cross already when He said: "It is finished."?

Show me how to love, like You have loved me.

What have I done? I word vomited everywhere and now there is a stanch of   tension amidst the room. A mess that has affected everyone, and especially the head of the household. Grace has been undeserved and unmerited yet again. And even the aftermath, it was still there lending a hand.

[Deep sigh]

As a family, we have been through many different seasons together and individually to a point that adaptability can be quite taxing in both emotionally and physically.

With being apart for many years now, we are now prone to our very own way of life unlike the years before where we had closer proximity and togetherness. Weekday nights were family dinners and Sundays were strictly for prayers and worship.

But with living at different countries, we developed our own lifestyle where when we are reunited, it collides. They say separation makes the heart grow fonder. I say, it creates a hole amongst relationships as everyone has set up their personal routine without the disturbance of others.

Honestly, sorry to be selfish but I'm really really tired and I know I am not alone at this. I realize that dealing with it as a family creates support and unity instead of trying it on our own. It is time to readjust our comforts to others and not of our lives. We not only please the people around us but God as well. 

"Show me how to love like You have loved me.."

WE NEED YOU GOD, MORE THAN EVER.

WE'RE TIRED AND SICK OF IT ALL.

GIVE US SOMETHING TO HOPE FOR AND LEAN ON.

FOR YOU REIGN IN POWER AND LOVE

Living in Your glory and grace.

When your under law,

there's always bound to be some sort of shortage or failures.

You are always striving and when you get tempted, condemnation creeps in.

It is when moments like that, you need the love of Grace.

Grace empowers you and super-abounds when we fall.

The law is always ready to condemn us.

But Jesus, He is always ready to catch us and love us just as we are.

"Your love will never fail."

On personal experiences, there are moments of self control.

Yes it may work on a temporal basis,

but not a maintenance level for long term.

Shopping and diets are my worst enemies.

With their clothing and food partners, they seem to get the weak side of me.

(Not the best, because that side is only affected by Him*)

With the plastic used, and the consumption of sinful treats taunting me,

 I give in and have side effects of a guilty conscious shopperholic/anorexic.

"Why did I buy or eat that.." or "Omg I should not have bought or ate that.."

I give up trying, pushing and using my own strength.

None of that can pull me through.

Only He can.

As we cast all our cares to Him,

not only He cares for us but He has already began working on it.

God does the work while we rest in Him.

So I'd enough of being caught up at the shops or at the pantry.

They shant rule over me and hence it is all by His spirit;

that is going to lead me to victory.

"Over everything Lord, You reign!"

Ready?

Ready.

But, are You?

(Waiting for You)

@Yahweh.

When I fail, it is Your undeserved grace that picks me up.

Yahweh, I look to You and my hope is in You.

Enjoying the ride.

Watching people ending one part of their lives and starting anew is rather a bittersweet emotion.

Yes, when one door closes another opens.

But what about all the past experiences that happened?

Does it fade into a distant memory,

remaining behind the closed door and never opened again?

(L)ife (I)s (F)ull of (Endings) are not always disney inspired with an happily after tag to it.

Being happy is not our very aim as it does vary;

mostly according to our happenings.

However rather being mature prepares you for your let down moments,

 And builds a shield which does not affect you that much as it may have before.

Ultimately, who says we are living for ourselves?

I realize when you step out of your comfort zone,

into your new, He meets you there.

It is like He has not only been waiting at the finish line,

but walking with you also.

He is near, right here, at this present moment, in your every second, during your daily life;

Loving, gracing, hugging, kissing and embracing every part of you.

Doubt your doubts and trust in the greatness of our Abba Father and how everything is possible for Him. 

He is on our side and we shall enjoy the ride.

E

I surrender* all.

How come when one part of your life seems to pick up,

The other does your head in?

Funny how life works that way.

Fortunately He reminds us to 'be of good cheer'.

Hard to say when things are unsettled.

It darkens your light of hope and brings you to a point of desperation.

"Why God, why me?"

Pslams 62:8

"Trust in Him at all times; ye people,

Pour out your heart before Him.

God is a refuge for us.

Selah."

I'd  experience a number of events of break downs,

 And this is time I have decided:

"Enough is enough!"

Going to take back the authority, make a stand, refuse to back down

 And have Him as my sole refuge.

Based not on my strength because it will not last, but of His *.

My love, joy and peace shall not be stolen but restored.

Everything that lacks, He meets it and gives us more.

You bring me life, You bring me hope, You're all I need I Lord.

[Moving on]

Beginning to question what your future upholds,

 Is a ride that one should not take.

With blurry vision and assumptions going against what He has promised us,

It brings us to wondering:

"Is this it?" or "Are you sure God?"

We have big dreams;

Ones that seem hard to reach and come by if based on our limited thinking.

Humans as we are, realism and logic is simpler hence easier to trust.

If so, we are definitely putting our faith to waste.

Our ultimate source to all things is Him.

Everything and anything comes from Him and through Him.

Isn't that how the whole earth, universe, milky ways and planets were formed?

Yet we question His orchestrated blessings for us.

Dare I put doubt on our maker and creator?

He is the one with the eagle eye view,

 whilst we only choose what we want to see.

I know what I want.

But do I know what He wants for me?

I surrender all.

God of all things new.

Soft spots are the hardest to get rid off.
They always seem to be deepened inside the walls of your heart,
Previous emotions still triggers your very core.
Familiar feelings begins to unfold, and you are now reminiscing slowly into your past.

Regretting and wishing what could have been is one of the very side effects.

You start to paint a picture of the events you desired to happen, but never did.

Condemning the fact that you have missed out on what was yet so amazing back then.

What was treasured is now been lost and there is no road to going back.

The sign of no entry screams move on.
So why are we still back to where we were?

God is a God of all things new.

He multiplies what was lost, and replace it with His abundance.
Double potions are ours for the taking.
And we do not just start back at one, but are new creation-ers.

No turning back, just moving forward.

I need my space.

This is very moment where I just want to be alone.

Not caring of being self-fish,

but it is the only place of solitude I comfort in.

How can one breath with so much going on

Back at one.

I'm coming to The Father. Back to the first love.

[1 John 4:19]

What can separate me now?