have you attempted on something and it just didn't work? like there isn't any flow, hence you are no longer feeling it?
honestly, connecting to people has never been an issue in a safe environment. but somehow when i decided to head back to something, it is just stuck. and now my heart tends to want to pack and leave to somewhere greener.
comparing to what was before, it is quite an endurance to bear and the difference is way too vast. the definition of the particular term and it's motto are mere words without experience. something that i cannot phantom and it is just not sitting right.
the heavily preplanned events does not help either. i mean seriously, if things were meant to happen, they would probably have. it is really not that difficult. not saying we are not to be proactive, but be that in a more natural, less forceful manner.
the more one may try to create unnessary stir, the more repulsive and turned off another response may churn out. i did quite enjoy the journey before all the awkward motives started to creep up again.
not the sort to easily give up, and i honestly did not give it a deadline till now. i seeked opinions of those close, and they said four months. well, it has been the fifth month... so till the end of it, we shall see what happens.
least, i tried, and am intensely grateful for the gold i have already found. joy, laughter and authenticity does not fail with the whole lot of you around. now this is what connecting is all about. effortlessly enjoyable. xxx
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