Propelling... Scared.

16 Things To Know Before Dating An INFJ | Koty Neelis

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Out of 16 different personality types INFJs make the rarest combination of people to exist, which means they’re often misunderstood and dating them can be a challenging adventure. They have the greatest capacity for love and empathy within a relationship but their tendency to be extremely gullible and idealistic can create problems. Here are some things to be mindful of when dating this personality type.

1. If you’re looking for a temporary romance with them they likely won’t even bother. 

INFJs prefer long, lasting relationships and avoid short-term relationships if they can. Casual dating and FWB situations just don’t give them the type of deep connection they need to feel fulfilled.

2. They sometimes forget to take care of themselves. 

INFJs have a habit of taking care of everyone else around them before they take care of themselves. While this sounds sweet and selfless the problem comes when they realize they’ve overextended themselves so much they end up exhausted and needing to shut everyone else out. Don’t take offense to this. They won’t forget about you. INFJs just need a bit of time to recharge and refocus.

3. They’ll always be thinking about what your next fun date should be. 

INFJ’s are highly idealistic and will always dream big when it comes to your relationship. They always have in the back of their mind your favorite activities, places to go, and preferences when making plans. Although they can enjoy social, more adventurous dates, an ideal date for INFJs are places where you two can spend time one-on-one.

4. Someone who puts a lot of emphasis on labels, designers, or money is immediately off putting. 

The most attractive person to an INFJ is someone that isn’t materialistic and all about wealth. While big gestures are nice and appreciated, INFJs find happiness in the simple details in life and get just as much out of sitting with you and hearing your stories over coffee than doing anything else.

5. INFJs can be loyal to a fault but this doesn’t mean it’s an opportunity to take advantage of them. 

They’re able to see the best in people. Even if they recognize a relationship is failing they have a hard time detaching themselves from their significant other. They want to believe in their partner so much, often at the risk of sacrificing their own happiness and comfort.

6. INFJs can be very strange people.

This isn’t to say that this is a bad thing, but when you’re one of the rarest personality types chances are there’s going to be naturally something a bit unusual going on. INFJs are very complex and at times even their own complexity can confuse them. They’re aware they’re odd and because of their own self-awareness they always feel misunderstood. Feeling like another person truly ‘gets them’ is a very rare thing for them to experience.

7. They’ll always be able to pick up on when you’re lying or being deceptive.

INFJs have an acute sensitivity for when stories just don’t seem to add up and omitting the facts is just as bad as lying to them.

8. INFJs love helping people, especially the person they’re dating. 

Seriously, it’s one of the things in life that gives them great pleasure. If you’re extremely independent or the type to shy away from receiving help from the person you’re dating you might run into some problems with an INFJ. They see their help, care, and generosity as a way to express their love.

9. Sometimes it can be hard for them to open up. 

Although INFJs are outwardly warm and engaging they often struggle with the ability to be as open and less guarded as other personality types. They don’t reveal as much about themselves as fast their partner does because they don’t want to invest in someone else they feel could possibly disappear overnight.

10. They typically don’t enjoy PDA. 

When out in public or at a gathering or party the the most appreciated form of affection is a subtle touch once in awhile to let them know you’re there.

11. Don’t ever pressure them to make more friends or socialize more.

INFJs are more interested in having a few solid relationships with people they can truly connect with and be themselves around over dozens of acquaintances with connections that only scratch the surface.

12. They’re extremely future oriented, especially in relationships.

They’re always thinking about long-term possibilities in life whether it’s a the starting of a new relationship or the longevity of a project. If an INFJ isn’t able to see you as a long-term partner they likely aren’t going to keep pursing you.

13. INFJs can be easily affected by the energy around them, including yours. 

They need strong partners to be in a truly healthy and fulfilling relationship for them. If their significant other is unstable or constantly has a lot of conflict going on this can completely drain them.

14. They will very rarely initiate anything. 

INFJs prefer when other people make the initial contact when it comes to dating. Asking for a number, making plans for a first date – these things will have to be done by you. An INFJ takes careful note of who shows interest and whether the energy they put into someone else is reciprocated or not.

15. If it seems like they’re off in another world, it’s probably because they are. 

INFJs are great at building rich inner lives and daydreaming allows them to live out their fantasies.

16. They’ll always be down to listen to what you have to say. 

Listening and communicating are INFJs bread and butter. Whether you’re having a bad day at work and need to vent or you just want to talk late into the night about anything and everything an INFJ will contently sit and listen to what’s on your mind.

The best personality types for INFJs to date? ENTP and ENFP are best suited love matches, with INTJs and fellow INFJs coming in as secondary dating possibilities. INFJs should avoid dating ESFP, ESTP, ENTJ, and ESTJ. 

Keeping Your Faith In the Face of Bad News | Steven Furtick

U | M.C. The Max

Non priorities & Timing...

it is rather funny how things occur when you have least prioritize it.
and it comes from all sorts.
even in coincidences which you cannot help but give it some thought.
however, one may stick out which is beyond my flesh's reasoning,
and preference which is wildly insane.
this strange inclination has left me dumbfounded.
so rather than fighting it,
i would rather be in the safe zone for now.
going to backen straight into my main focus.
for the rest will have to wait for it's timing.

only He knows, opens and sustains. xxx

I Love You | Mi Rae Yoon

Do I like you? | The Heirs

Empty | Winner

Offbeat | Clara C

Here Comes Your Man | Meaghan Smith

Restful...

rest·ful

ˈres(t)fəl/

adjective

adjective: restful

1. having a quiet and soothing quality.

   "the rooms were cool and restful"

   synonyms:

   relaxed, relaxing, quiet, calm, calming, tranquil, soothing, peaceful, placid,reposeful, leisurely, undisturbed, untroubled; sleepy "a restful cruise"

   antonyms:

   exciting

Cross My Mind | Twin Forks

Sometimes it's this simple...

How to Handle Your Thoughts of Fear and Doubt | Steven Furtick

Sleepless Night | Crush (Feat. Punch)

It's Alright, This Is Love | Davichi

Tested & Tried, Now What?

have you attempted on something and it just didn't work? like there isn't any flow, hence you are no longer feeling it?

honestly, connecting to people has never been an issue in a safe environment. but somehow when i decided to head back to something, it is just stuck. and now my heart tends to want to pack and leave to somewhere greener.

comparing to what was before, it is quite an endurance to bear and the difference is way too vast. the definition of the particular term and it's motto are mere words without experience. something that i cannot phantom and it is just not sitting right.

the heavily preplanned events does not help either. i mean seriously, if things were meant to happen, they would probably have. it is really not that difficult. not saying we are not to be proactive, but be that in a more natural, less forceful manner.

the more one may try to create unnessary stir, the more repulsive and turned off another response may churn out. i did quite enjoy the journey before all the awkward motives started to creep up again.

not the sort to easily give up, and i honestly did not give it a deadline till now. i seeked opinions of those close, and they said four months. well, it has been the fifth month... so till the end of it, we shall see what happens.

least, i tried, and am intensely grateful for the gold i have already found. joy, laughter and authenticity does not fail with the whole lot of you around. now this is what connecting is all about. effortlessly enjoyable. xxx

The Beautiful Exchange...

Heading to what lies ahead...

Years ago when Joel and I first got married, we decided to buy a home. We found a home that looked perfect for us! It was located on a beautiful lot in a neighborhood with other young families and had a swimming pool—something I always wanted. We made the best offer we could and prayed that the owners would accept it. Day after day went by, but we didn’t hear anything. We kept speaking words of faith, declaring, “This is our house!” No one was living in it at the time, so we would drive over to it in the evening and sit outside studying it and dreaming about where we would put our furniture. But unfortunately, the homeowners didn’t accept our offer. That door totally closed, and I was so disappointed. I thought for sure that was our house! I found myself tempted to say if only we had offered more money. If only we had prayed harder. If only we had acted sooner, on and on. But instead of mourning over what didn’t work out, I made the choice to let it go and believe that God had something better in store.

Right after we heard the news about the house, I found another property that caught my attention. It was an old, run-down house on a beautiful lot in a really nice neighborhood. It was actually abandoned with broken windows, no landscaping, and even had a scarecrow in the kitchen to keep the animals out. It didn’t look like much, but deep down I believed it was right for us—not based on how much sense it made in the natural, but based on the supernatural peace I had inside. We put a bid on that house, and sure enough, our offer was accepted. 

Truthfully, I wasn’t as excited about this house as I was the first one. It didn’t have a swimming pool like I dreamed of; instead, it had crooked floors. The foundation was cracked, and some of the interior doors wouldn’t close. I had to put blocks under my sofa just to keep it from leaning forward. Friends and family used to make jokes about those crooked floors, but I grew to love that house. I knew God gave us that house, so I wasn’t going to look back and focus on what I didn’t get. 

We lived in that house for three years, and God blessed us beyond our wildest dreams. We ended up dividing our lot and selling half of it for the same price we originally paid for the entire piece of property. We were able to build a new home for less than what we would have paid for the first house we wanted. God used that crooked-floored house to bless us and bring us through a journey of faith.

Today, I’m not living in a house with crooked floors. I’m living in a house more beautiful than I ever dreamed we would own. But I’m convinced that if I would have been unhappy over what didn’t work out, my attitude would have kept me from God’s best. 

Today, if you’re thinking, Life would have been different if only I had this or if only that had happened, let it go. Don’t get stuck focusing on what didn’t work out. Trust that God is guiding your steps. It may not make a lot of sense right now, but if you’ll let go of what you had in mind, God can give you something better. If He can bless us through a crooked-floored house, there’s no telling what He will do for you! 

“No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead.” (Philippians 3:13, NLT)

Going Far & Beyond...

Imperfect progress...

“I keep messing up with my reactions to things. I have a tendency to process my emotions in an unhealthy way. I am either exploding with angry words or stuffing it down while saying, “I’m fine”. After many failed attempts and many cries of frustration, I realized what was keeping me from change.

It was the feeling that I wouldn’t do it perfectly. Sometimes we think if we don’t make instant progress then real change isn’t coming. Well that is not true.

There is a beautiful thing called imperfect progress. It comes when we take slow steps of progress wrapped in grace. The day I realized this is the day I gave myself permission to believe I really could be different. 

I challenged myself to just start having one better reaction each day. Little steps forward, imperfect progress that’s what we need.” 

Being a greater blessing...

8 Ways to Bring the Gold Out in People | Aran Puddle

One of the joys and challenges for me in 15 years of being a pastor — especially with highly creative or artistic people — has been how to see their unique giftings, talents, and abilities brought into a bigger team or community context. Highly gifted and talented people can sometimes come in and bring conflict into an established team (with an already established normal), due to their radical ideas. And on the flip side, an established community (with established normal ways of doing things) can sometimes ostracize the highly gifted for not fitting in with the team's existing systems and structures.

In light of that, here are eight simple things I’ve seen that help bring the gold out of some of the most unlikely of people, whilst still bringing them into community in a way that helps, not hinders:

1. Pray and ask God who He would like you to work with

(Told you they were simple)

One of the characteristics of a great team is that there is variety of personality, passions, life experience and worldviews, whilst still being united around a common cause. It’s pretty natural to bring and choose people to be “with us” who are very much like us. But I’ve found that often the people that God would have me work with are not the people I would have naturally chosen ... rather they are people who, when we all work together, cause US all to live out our potential stronger than if we were apart.

In Luke 6:12 we read, “Jesus went up on a mountain to pray, and he prayed to God all night. At daybreak he called together all of his disciples and chose twelve of them to be apostles.” (NLT)

If Jesus did this, it must be good for us to do as well ☺

2. See the value that different people can bring to the team

I have worked with numbers of people who had worked or volunteered in previous places where things did not end well. I’m sure most of these situations had something to do with the people who were now in my care, and often it didn’t take long to see why this may have been the case! However, this should still not take away the truth that these people have unique gifts and talents that still have the potential to be used in the right environment. Seeing the value of someone first for who JESUS has made them to be, and then for what they can bring to the community is a big step in bringing the gold out of people.

3. Approach people with a clear invitation to be involved

Highly gifted and talented people can sometimes be viewed as undisciplined and unfocused, yet there are other areas (often based on their gifts and talents), where they are extremely focused. When we approach people with a clear invitation to volunteer in a specific area, with a specific need, and specific expectations and tasks to achieve, we will more than likely have these people respond positively to us!

4. Bring them into your world

Small groups are a great place to get to know people and build into them outside of their areas of gifting. In our own small group, we've gotten to know more of people’s family of origin, their belief systems, their strengths, successes, weaknesses and failures. Trust is built over time with both parties in a setting like this, as well as wonderful memories built around the Word, prayer, joy and food! In a work or volunteering setting, bringing people into certain meetings they would not normally attend to present a new idea or initiative, or bringing a different perspective in a debrief setting can also bring positive results.

5. Commit to discipleship and mentorship

As the leader or an influencer, I want to be able to view the process with my team as an opportunity to point them towards Christ-likeness, and to use moments of success, failure, courage, and correction as teaching moments. This doesn’t just have to be in a one-hour private coffee meeting, (although that’s good too sometimes). It can more often be in our normal day-to-day dealings, keeping Jesus central in all we do — in the way we think, speak, and act — and leading our teams purposefully toward living more like Jesus in the using of our gifts and relationships with each other.

When there are moments where Christ-likeness has been missed, a simple teaching moment or conversation in grace and truth (but NOT too intense) will help create the environment we are all desiring in our teams!

6. Have “tell me more” as part of your regular language

Some of the greatest creativity in any team will come about in the most normal of conversations. Most of these don't happen in a meeting, but in ‘hallway conversations’, as we call them. When you hear something that peaks your interest, simply use the phrase “Tell me more about that...” Instead of asking questions that can tend to have dead ends or a rabbit trail of conversation, “tell me more” about something specific can open up people’s creativity and ability to solve problems!

7. Allow them to disagree with you in an appropriate way

I am certainly not the be-all and end-all of leadership, creativity or problem solving... but there are moments when I do know certain things are going to work in a team that others cannot see. And yet I have also been saved from making a bad decision or from settling for a good idea instead of a great one, when people in my team knew they had the freedom and permission to disagree with something I have suggested. Yes, there is a balance here and yes, there can be people who will push hard for certain things from their own agenda. But if this can be navigated maturely, there's plenty of place for people to bring an alternate point of view in an honouring way — this can only lead to better outcomes for the team!

8. LOVE YOUR PEOPLE THE BEST WAY YOU KNOW HOW!

Jesus is Jesus; I’m not! I am living the best I know how to, and at the same time I am going to make mistakes... I’m going to let people down, I’m going to miss the gold inside someone sometimes... I can either lament over missed opportunities or I can ask the Holy Spirit to help me be engaged in each moment of my day. I’m finding more and more as I’m WITH people, giving my best to them in focused attention, with a listening ear and encouraging word (not with an iPhone in my hand ☺ ), that I am unlocking the gold of giftings, talents, and ideas that is laying inside every person I’m with, waiting for the opportunity to come out!

So, LOVE PEOPLE the best way you know how today, with a passion to love better tomorrow, and watch the gold come out of your people and give glory to God that He would choose in His kindness to use us in building His Church!!

✗ Kings & Queens | Brooke Fraser ✗

✗ I'm in love | Lee Seung Chul ✗

✗ Exaltation & Encouragement... ✗

“Ever heard the saying, “Don’t count your days, make your days count?” It’s so easy to go through the motions of work, carpool, cooking, cleaning, homework, and ballgames. But in the midst of it all, am I making the moments count with meaningful conversations or making simple deposits of encouragement into the lives of those I love?

I decided to get intentional the other day and thought of three people who could use some encouragement. Then I took a few minutes that week to encourage them. I wrote a note to my husband and sent it in an email, the next day I left a voicemail with a short prayer and let a friend hear me thanking God for something special about her, and later that week I posted on my son’s Facebook page telling him I missed him because I was out of town.

They weren’t huge things, but I could tell they meant a lot to the people I love.”

✗ What the Social Media Generation Needs to Know | Vasiti ✗

We live in the age of social media.

Like a repeat of the era of commercial TV in the 50’s, its growth and influence on the young women of our generation can be equally empowering or crushing.

Newspapers have been replaced with Facebook newsfeeds – in one swoop a girl can be connected to the latest what’s what and the who’s who, up-to-date fashion trends and the best place to get it for cheap or even better – FREE. In one page they can access the latest world happenings from celebrity gossip to the Ebola crisis, what their friends are currently doing and how to get the perfect eyebrows.

Crazy.

I have the privilege of going into a few high schools weekly to teach Shine*GIRL and I get to see first-hand how much young girls are impacted by social media.

“I found my formal dress online yesterday, it looks like Taylor Swift’s dress at the VMA’s.”

“Guess who started following me?!!”

“Miss, can I take a selfie with you, my friends want to see your hair.”

“They direct messaged me yesterday and told me I’m too fat and ugly and should never come back to school.”

It’s in the midst of all of this that I remind myself, I am not here to deliver a curriculum, but to teach young girls to understand their worth, to teach them how they can be strong through tough circumstances, and to teach them to dream with open eyes about the potential of their future.

I have heard it said that our young people have more information available to them at the click of a button than the President of the USA had 15 years ago.

But information does not mean education.

And relevance does not mean personal.

Yes, they might be able to watch a cool YouTube video or some Hollywood production about overcoming crisis and what is true beauty, but right there in the classroom they have no online “profile” to hide behind, no social mask. Right there, we can take time to talk about the stuff that actually matters and what their real world looks like.

Victor Hugo writes “he who opens a school door closes a prison”. There is a prison that holds so many of our young girls today, its bars are constructed from issues like low self-esteem, mental health disorders, depression and anxiety. It has been found that 1 in 4 young Australians currently have a mental health condition, and suicide is known to be the biggest killer of young people aged between 15-24 years old.

If we can teach our young girls to understand their value, their strength and their purpose, we can release them into a freedom that with all our hopeful intent, will set them up for a win in life.

But like it says in Romans 10 in the Message version, “How can they hear if nobody tells them?”

I love hearing that there are girls all over the world who are a part of Shine – from A21 trafficking victims girls in Europe, to rescued orphans in Africa, to suburban school-girls in Sydney.

I have come to understand that location, age, and race makes no difference when it comes to matters of the soul.

Every young girl needs to know that she is valuable if she is to love herself and others.

Every young girl needs to know that she has the power to choose and that her response is powerful.

Every young girl needs to know that she has a future and that she is believed in.

✗ Having good sense... ✗

"Reasonable people see things reasonably - Unreasonable people are not interested in good sense!"

Brian Houston

✗ Best Luck | Chen (EXO) ✗

✗ 5 people you should never settle for | Sarah Hahn ✗

In relationships, it has been said, “Take me as I am or watch me as I go.” We are taught to accept each person for who they are because everyone is different. And yes, everybody has flaws, and relationships take plenty of grace no matter who you end up with. But when it comes to love, there are certain characteristics and stipulations you shouldn’t settle for. Here are a few examples:

The Non-Apologetic
We all say and do things that unintentionally hurt others. We make rude jokes or word things in a way that the other person might not appreciate (despite our best intentions). In these cases, there are people who believe they shouldn’t have to apologize for offending their partner because “this is who they are.”

However, an unwillingness to apologize can thwart your relationship from growing. It’s difficult for any relationship to develop when one person regularly refuses to acknowledge they have hurt the other. Saying “sorry” is not always synonymous with “I was wrong.” Rather, it’s a display of empathy towards your partner for realizing your actions may not have been as edifying to your relationship as you had hoped.

Being able to admit your wrongdoings and take ownership of your actions are signs of both maturity and respect—two traits you should be looking for in a significant other.

The Differently-Valued

It’s important to be open-minded toward people of different backgrounds, cultures and upbringings. These differences can enrich and add color to our relationships. But sometimes reality bites as we come to the cold, hard realization that we are just too different from our partner.

It’s one thing to have different hobbies or taste in music. However, things like how you spend your money, how you prioritize your family, your faith and the types of dreams you share will have a huge impact on your relationship for as long as you both shall live. These are the factors that will ultimately mould your relationship and determine how you spend your time together.

If your relationship is not rooted in the same values or faith, what kind of foundation are you building your relationship on? Don’t think you need to stay with someone just because he or she meets the majority of the criteria on your list.

The Non-Committal

Settling down; tying the knot; putting a ring on it. These are not new concepts to anyone who is or has been in a long-term relationship. In fact, this is usually the desired outcome of people in such relationships. But if you find that your partner tends to make plans with you only on his terms or that she dodges any conversations about marriage, it could be a sign that commitment might not be in his or her vocabulary.

Many in this situation hold on to the ever-burning hope that their partner will eventually come around or that they just need more time. But after five years of dating, if the only image of your wedding is the one you’ve been visualizing alone in your head, how much more time are you willing to give them? While marriage isn’t something to rush into, it is a conversation you should expect to have with your partner once the relationship become serious.

If you hope to see a mortgage, kids or a joint bank account in your future, a person who is reluctant to show any signs of commitment is someone you might want to cut loose. Why should you have to settle for “What if?” when you can have the assurance of “When”?

Moreover, marriage is not just a relationship status. It is a calling. If you are expecting to one day exchange vows at the altar but your partner is not, it could have bigger implications than just being with someone who is “not ready.”

The Parental-Guardian

Are you always the one to blame when something goes wrong? Do you ever feel like you have to abide by your partner’s rules? Are you constantly being nagged, controlled or scolded? If so, your partner may have assumed the parent role in your relationship. This is problematic on two levels: 1: It could cause you to feel constrained. 2: It throws off the balance in the relationship.

It’s OK to encourage and advise your significant other when something goes wrong. But they should never embarrass you or make you feel inferior. Someone who treats you like a child most likely craves power and authority. Your partner should be your equal, not your parent.

The Non-Sacrificial

I originally thought of calling this heading “The Non-Compromising.” However, in reality, relationships aren’t about compromise; they’re about sacrifice. In relationships, there will be times where either party will have to make sacrifices for the benefit of the other person. It could be giving up time, a purchase, future plans or part of your lifestyle. Relationships require you to constantly be thinking about the other person and his or her needs. But this goes both ways. You shouldn’t be the only one giving while your partner is only gaining.

Giving something up for another person is one of the hardest things to do. But this is what makes it one of the noblest acts of love—the kind of love God has for us, which provides us the ultimate example of what relationships should look like.

In no way should it be your goal to change your partner in any way, shape or form. But a person who can’t adjust to the conditions of being in a relationship and is unwilling to sacrifice for you could be carrying a huge red flag.

Relationships are hard work. Don’t make yours any harder by subjecting yourself to one of the above scenarios. If anything, choosing not to stay with someone you know ultimately isn’t right for you can liberate both of you from a lifetime of unnecessary bickering and regret.

✗ From limitations to opportunities... ✗

✗ Thanksgiving... ✗

though the tradition is not wildly celebrated here...
i do feel nostalgic about it...
through it all...
even a year has passed...
i am still undoubtedly grateful...
so what one is thankful for is not then..
nor when...
but now...
realize life can be that simple...
when we treasure what is present..
and that's that...

ps. hope you and yours are doin' just fine... xxx

✗ The Elements Of An Effective Life | Judah Smith ✗

✗ In The Name of Love | Ken ✗

✗ Painful Love | Lee Min Ho ✗

✗ Persevere & Keep Standing... ✗

it is in the fire...
where characters are forged...
with strength to stand again...

even being exceptionally privileged all this while...
there was never a need to fight nor earn something...
till now...

and, i am not going to stop...
not till i reach my goal..
for me and mine...

just grateful one is not alone...
my hands are held by the grip of Yours...
leading me on the right way...

✗ Two Person | Park Jang-hyun (Bromance) ✗

✗ Steady... ✗

"Be still, and know that I am God;

I will be exalted among the nations,

I will be exalted in the earth!"

Psalm 46:10 (NKJV)

✗ Born for Transformation... ✗

✗ Here For You | Big Baby Driver ✗

✗ Some Other Day | Big Baby Driver ✗

✗ What We Used to Be | Big Baby Driver ✗

✗ Shine On: We Are All Broken, That’s How The Light Gets In | Paul Hudson ✗

Most people are broken. How do I know? Because most people tell me they’re broken. It’s rather impressive really – only two decades ago, it was taboo to admit we had significant issues to overcome. Two decades ago, and for all time before that, we did our best to keep our demons private.

The majority of us still do so today. Yet, more and more people I come across open up rather quickly about the difficulties they are finding in living life. We may finally be making progress. Admitting to having a problem is the first step after all.

We all have our own demons, our own secrets, our own cracks. We are all broken in one way or another. It’s what makes us the unique and beautiful individuals we are. We go through life living in a world that manages to disappoint us consistently.

We imagine, we experience, we get disappointed. Our expectations are rarely met – not just the expectations we have for others and the world around us, but also the expectations we have for ourselves and the life we were supposed to lead.

With each disappointment comes a blow. Some are only glancing hits. Others knock the wind out of us. Some hit us so hard, they change us forever, creating cracks in our souls – cracks that never really heal.

Most leave scars and even the shallowest of cracks leaves the memory of pain long lingering behind. People are like clay that gets beat up and molded by time and circumstance into individuals, which only on rare occasion, resemble their original forms.

One thing you should come to accept is that time and circumstance are not the sculptors; they are only the tools of the artist. The sculptor is the one who decides how each blow, each stroke of hammer and chisel, affects the individual piece.

We are not made of stone and do have the ability to move, anticipate and react to the forces acting upon us. We may not be able to dodge everything that life throws at us, but we are able to choose how we receive each blow, as well as what we take from the experience.

In life, you will get hurt. You will suffer. You will be forced to change. Remember that – in the end – you alone decide the person you are. You decide how to interpret each and every life experience, as well as the lesson you learn from them.

Every second of every day, you actively decide the kind of person you are. Blaming it on the cracks, on your history, on how damaged you are isn’t fair.

Everybody in the world is cracked, bruised and broken. Every single person. And those who aren’t are only too young to be, and will surely one day get broken like the rest of us. It’s an inevitability.

It’s a necessary part of life. Why? Because we are all destined to be born as one individual and to die as another. We are destined to live several lives throughout a single life. We are destined to change over and over and over again until we become the final individuals we are meant to become.

We live in a world governed by space and time, a reality in which cause causes effect. We have no choice but to live by the rules already outlined by our reality.

We can’t stop the pain, stop the misfortune, stop the loss, indefinitely. But what we can do is learn from it all and do our best to contribute to the maximization of the wellbeing of the human race as a whole.

What we can do is decide we are the ones in control – maybe not in control of the world, maybe not in control of others, maybe not even in control of our lives… But we can decide we are in control of ourselves. This is where it all has to start: self-control.

Mold yourself into the person you wish to become and the rest will hopefully follow. Will it definitely follow? No. Nothing in life is guaranteed other than death. I hate to come off morbid, but these are truths we would all be better off accepting.

The only one thing in this world you even have a shot of having complete control over is yourself. Everything else has a high variable of probability that basically determines the outcome.

You have the power to take a look at your dents and cracks and decide they aren’t enough to kill you, they aren’t enough to stop you or even slow you down. You have the ability to use those cracks as fuel for your brilliance.

Each crevice only pays homage to your strength. You’re bruised, broken, torn, cracked, bleeding, crying, screaming, but still standing. Still breathing. Still fighting.

Life will beat you until you prove there is literally nothing the universe can do to make you give up.

You’re going to keep pursuing your dreams. You’re going to find your passions, find that one person who loves you for each and every scar, and create the life of your dreams because you now know you are strong enough.

You just went punch-for-punch with life itself, and came out with your head held high. The trick’s on it, really… it beat you, bruised you, cut you — and the only thing it managed to do is create cracks that allow your inner light to shine through. Now, blind them.

✗ Proceed With Caution: 20 Signs You’re Entering Your Late 20s | Jen Ruiz ✗

If you’ve recently fallen victim to the infamous quarter-life crisis, you’re probably familiar with the panic that comes with realizing you’ve entered your late 20s. Suddenly, it’s as if your youth has evaporated.

The good news is, you’re not alone! All around the world, 20-somethings like you are going through the same process.

So, to help you identify whether or not you’re going through this transformation, here are 20 signs you’re entering your late 20s:

1. You no longer feel the need to stay out all night

Party animals can feel free to go hard until 3 am or later, but as a late 20-something, you can be found at home on a Friday night, having a hot date with Netflix and a bottle of wine.

Maybe, if you’re rested, you’ll go out and do something chill on Saturday.

2. You start to track how you’re spending your money

Eating out is getting expensive, so you go grocery shopping on a regular basis.

You also realize you don’t necessarily need the all-access cable package and cut back to basic cable, but only if you can manage to talk the cable company into throwing in some premium channels for an extra $5 month.

3. Being carded becomes a good thing

It used to be that getting carded was a dreaded moment. Now, we blush when we’re carded. Oh, you need to see ID? No problem!

4. You begin to worry about your long-term health

All of those late-night trips to Taco Bell are starting to catch up with you and you can’t bounce back from binge-eating like you were able to do in your college days.

Suddenly, you start trading in the ice cream for frozen yogurt and french fries for sweet potato fries.

You also start making regular appointments with — get this — a physician.

5. You attend weddings all of the time

As a result, you are a pro at wedding gifting; you are the life of any bachelor or bachelorette celebration, and you have essentially mastered every group dance there is, from the Macarena to the Cupid Shuffle.

6. You only date people who are worth your time

You’ve been through the dating mill a few times and are over it. At this point, you’ve stopped entertaining half-interested suitors and are able to discern those who are actually worth your time.

7. You wake up every morning to go to your grown-up job

Gone are the days when you could sleep in or skip classes. Now, you wake up every morning at the same time to go to your adult job. Welcome to your late 20s and pretty much the rest of your life until retirement. Hopefully, you will at least like what you do!

8. You watch the news

Remember when watching the news was boring or something only your parents did?

Somewhere along the way, you started watching it, too, or started wanting to keep up with current events in some way. It’s nice to not live under a rock.

9. Your parents start to talk about kicking you off the family plan

You’ve been on the family phone plan for years now. You start to conveniently feign a lack of cell service every time your parents bring up the notion of you getting your own contract.

10. Health insurance costs how much?

Similarly, you were riding out the parental health insurance wave until those benefits ended at age 26.

Suddenly, you have to get your own health insurance or the government will fine you. You quickly realize that it doesn’t come cheaply, or give you much bang for your meager bucks. Great!

11. Financial management professionals start approaching you

If you’re suddenly getting messages from people who are offering their services to help you manage your funds, even if you didn’t realize you had any funds of which to speak, it’s a sure sign you’re entering your late 20s.

12. Younger people don’t know who you’re referencing

You don’t really start to feel old until you’re around a group of younger people, who have no idea what you’re talking about when you reference TV shows from the 1990s or celebrities that have since passed away. Talk about feeling ancient!

13. Your Facebook news feed is suddenly flooded with babies

You’re not sure when it happened, but one day, you logged on and the updates went from parties and drinking to babies and breastfeeding.

You routinely recite the line, “Your baby is so cute!” and you do your best to do so as sincerely as possible, each and every time.

14. You start to purchase shoes based on their practicality

You still love your stiletto heels, don’t get me wrong, but there’s no way you’re trekking in them for more than a few blocks.

If your day requires walking, you’ll probably be prepared with sensible flats.

15. Hangovers are rough

You could do Jäger bombs left and right in college, so naturally, you assumed you’d be able to do the increasingly popular Fireball shots they’re serving today, no problem.

But, you were wrong — you were so wrong.

16. You don’t shop at certain stores anymore

Forever 21 and Charlotte Russe used to be your homes away from home. There wasn’t a trip made to either store that wouldn’t result in hours of perusing and multiple bags of merchandise.

Nowadays, you find yourself leaning more towards Anne Klein and Banana Republic. You need clothes that double for business and pleasure and that match your matured tastes.

17. You get annoyed if you don’t have the proper glassware

Speaking of matured tastes, it used to be okay to serve guests in whatever cups or glassware you had laying around.

Now, if you don’t have the proper glass for the beverage you’re serving, you get annoyed and a little embarrassed.

18. Your wishlist changes

To avoid that awkward moment when you’re serving someone red wine in a coffee mug, you have adapted your birthday, Christmas and general wishlists to include kitchenware, home decorations, appliances and gift cards to home improvement stores.

19. You start monitoring your credit

Credit card fraud used to be something about which you heard, but didn’t really worry. After all, no one wants to steal a broke college student’s identity.

Now, as you start to enter the professional world, you’ll find yourself monitoring your credit to ensure that no one is using your identity and working to improve your score so you can qualify for car loans and mortgages.

20. You’re desperately counting the years you have left in your 20s

You’re not ready to be a grownup just yet, despite the clear signs you’ve entered that territory, so you make sure no one ages you more than necessary.

You still have (x) number of years till 30, so you make sure everyone knows it!

✗ Bite My Lower Lips | Esna ✗

✗ Called not to perform, but obey... ✗

“His ways are not our ways.” You’re not always going to understand what God is doing. If you’re going to make it to your promised land, it’s going to take bold obedience.

Joel Osteen

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✗ All For You | Seo In Guk x Jeong Eun Jee ✗