As the reality of your worse fear hits you like a truck of losing one who has been there so faithfully for half of your life, one cannot help but be stricken with such pain as the day gradually backens.
Have realized in such a mournful time as this, instead of thinking of when it will eventually happen, I would be cherishing what time left I have with Feebs. Appreciation and thanksgiving for every breath is to soften the ache and sting of her temporal suffering and illness on this earth.
It hurts to see her difficulty of staying alive and if only I got super healing power and hands like His to bring her instant comfort... Oh I would dare dream of such impossibilities and childlike thoughts.
Sigh. Been doing that a lot since last week, as one cannot bare the thought of the circle of life there is for every living being. Especially for the ones you treasure so deep in the core of your being.
Funny how the day is near, and it seems like a couple of years away as I would love to imagine. My heart has yet phantom the fact and is beating with every hope for a miracle. Oh I am very sure the entire heaven hears my repeated cry and constant weeping.
Sigh again. At this moment of time, even men's best abilities of saving one’s life have its unfortunate limits. Whether it is the best ad or medicine, there is just so much our human hands can do.
Yes I would want to see a supernatural continuation of one's life as a perfect answer and perception on how He would answer my desperate cry. But came to realize this, His ways and thoughts are higher, and how sometimes God does not always answer the way we would desire so... simply because His answers are always in our favor and best interest despite not seeing or agreeing with it.
As I stroke her head, and ease her rest, the only thing that is on my mind is comfort over anything else. And as I bring her out to inhale the after rain breeze, it is just a joy to see her lifting her tiny head to enjoy the moment.
Have realized that in the simple things, I have unfortunately have taken for granted. And now every single thing, even to carry her or put her on my lap to bask around the pool, is one I treasure so deeply beyond words.
And until that He takes her home, and off to the life of divine health, wholeness, comfort, joy, and perhaps running around and warming up our heavenly mansions, I am just appreciative with what He gracefully has left me with.
one who is more than a friend and family, but a constant companion connecting deep to my heart and soul. I honestly thank God for you Feebs, always bringing me and the entire family constant joy and comfort to us all throughout this 13 years from Perth to now Singapore (twice).
Will always remember how you were never failingly always there for me without a second late, and that even when I was down, your presence just assured me that you care. God was indeed faithful and will be so till the end.
Still His time comes, I trust it will be beyond peaceful, with effortless breathing, and non-suffering. It will just be beautiful.
No comments:
Post a Comment