have came to an end of my abilities, even the Godly ones -- because at times i realize, that my trust is not of the Giver but the gift. and with all the succeeded experiences, i would presume that since i was mostly right then, why wouldn't it be different this time? boy i was wrong.
(under assumption = 'i' count so far: four, 'God' count so far: one)
the sense of failure cripples and questions the rest of the times that God has truly given us insights upon the matter or character. condemnation always takes your eyes off His finish work, and puts it on yourself and sense of failure and lack. "are you sure you were right all the other times?"
this is the first ever mistake i have made, though it came off as a question rather an accusation. one lesson learnt: even if being truthful is seen as honesty in love by one's heart, many cannot withhold it and take such brutal transparency. i personally may not take it as an offense either way (unless being doubted otherwise), however that does not apply to everyone as we got different security and comfort levels.
thought we were meant to be heart-fully honest with one another in a relationship, wisdom is key in all sense of execution in one's private mind. and now i painfully have that sense of realization. one may seem strong in character, but it is through these testings that one's true self will arise. we are all human's after-all with entirely different weaknesses which His strength has found a perfect place to work in.
however, once He has done a marvelous transformation in us, His likeness is characterized in us, and making itself of permanence and concrete in our very being. and we come out never the same.
"as You told me again Lord, that my weaknesses is not a downer for our esteem or spirit, though man may view it that way in condemning forms, but our weakness are just a gentle reminder of how much we desperately need to depend on You."
this is the first ever mistake i have made, though it came off as a question rather an accusation. one lesson learnt: even if being truthful is seen as honesty in love by one's heart, many cannot withhold it and take such brutal transparency. i personally may not take it as an offense either way (unless being doubted otherwise), however that does not apply to everyone as we got different security and comfort levels.
thought we were meant to be heart-fully honest with one another in a relationship, wisdom is key in all sense of execution in one's private mind. and now i painfully have that sense of realization. one may seem strong in character, but it is through these testings that one's true self will arise. we are all human's after-all with entirely different weaknesses which His strength has found a perfect place to work in.
however, once He has done a marvelous transformation in us, His likeness is characterized in us, and making itself of permanence and concrete in our very being. and we come out never the same.
"as You told me again Lord, that my weaknesses is not a downer for our esteem or spirit, though man may view it that way in condemning forms, but our weakness are just a gentle reminder of how much we desperately need to depend on You."
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