" Because you are special* to me, and I love you, I gladly give up other peoples in exchange for you; They are trivial by comparison to your weighty significance. " _Isaiah 43:4* (The Voice)

Monday, November 21, 2011

{ Out with what WAS good, open with what IS God.. Pt. 1 }


"To reach up for the new, you must let go of the old.
What lies behind you, is not nearly as important as what lies in front of you.
Everything you've been through, was preparation for where you are right now."

J. Osteen

Sunday, November 20, 2011

{ Drawing Nearer: His Word Pt. 1 }



1 Oh, the joys of those who do not
      follow the advice of the wicked,
      or stand around with sinners,
      or join in with mockers.

 2 But they delight in the law of the Lord,
      meditating on it day and night.

 3 They are like trees planted along the riverbank,
      bearing fruit each season.
   Their leaves never wither,
      and they prosper in all they do.




 4 But not the wicked!
      They are like worthless chaff, scattered by the wind.

 5 They will be condemned at the time of judgment.
      Sinners will have no place among the godly.

 6 For the Lord watches over the path of the godly,
      but the path of the wicked leads to destruction.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

{ Drawing Nearer: Trust Pt. 1 }



Trust
To put have or put confidence in someone, or something.

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(Heb: Noun) Emunah (אמונה)
: (aman) firm, something that is supported or secure - eg. isa 22:23 for a nail that is fastened to a "secure" place

: (emun) craftsman - firm and secure in his talent

: firmness, something or someone that is firm in their actions

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(Heb: Verb) = Batakh (בטח)
: to hie for refuge

: to trust, be confident or sure

: be bold (confident, secure, sure), careless (one, woman), put confidence, (make to) hope, (put, make to) trust

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Proverbs 3:5-8 (NLT)
Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
do not depend on your own understanding.

Seek His will in all you do,
and He will show you which path to take.

Don’t be impressed with your own wisdom.
Instead, fear the Lord and turn away from evil.

Then you will have healing for your body
and strength for your bones.

Friday, November 18, 2011

{ Trust & Hang On.. }


‎"When you feel like God is doing nothing,
that's probably when He is doing the most."

- J. Meyer

-----

"You are all i can ever rely on,
put my ultimate trust in,
and give all of my heart to,

because You Lord, You are the only one that never fails.

always right here beside me beyond my loneliness,
always blanketing Your comfort beyond my pain,
always seeing through the eyes of Your grace beyond my failures,

because You Lord, You are the only one that never fails.

even when men does fail me, and fail continuously,
even when the heart is heavy, and the overbearing pain is stinging continuously,
but even in the slightest form, my trust and hope in You ever so arises,

because You Lord, You are the only one that never fails.

though everything seems utterly broken and shockingly ruined,
though my destiny and calling You gave seems lost and stalled,
You gently pick me up again, allow a heartily cry on Your knees, and encourage like no other,

because You Lord, You are the one and only one, that never fails.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

{ NO MORE. Pt. 2 }

just as you said you are going to keep on going, still worshiping with in awe despite feeling the sting, you fall down again, and this time it deals with home. one where your love ones gets the heat from your current state of fury and hurt beyond reason.

even when they are helping you, and your sprit will enlighten you on the person's heart, your soul just sticks on what your heart feels, disconnecting all sense of control and wisdom. and you react so quickly before doing what is right catches you - ahhh, the convenience on reacting on what the flesh thinks it selfishly deserves, rather than the inconvenience on pausing before doing anything you would have red flags all over.

what we carry inside of us, throughly does affect our surroundings and hence people. changing all dynamics on what was meant to be peaceful and harmonious, to lost of temper and actions without wisdom and control. this is man, man does not care about anything other than himself - and it is the walk that determines the heart of the person, rather than just the talk - cos everyone can talk.

one can say they are okay when they truly know they are not. one can use all biblical words to buffer the tension when they truly know they still feel it. one can be asked on how they are feeling when they truly know that something is hidden. one can use another's hurtful experience when they know the other is still healing. one can expect the other to get over what was wounded before when one also took more than awhile to find closure in a personal experience. one can be hurt by assumptions of another where one knows one is doing the same exact thing.

this is what man is best at, caring for themselves and not taking a pause to think about the bigger picture which includes another. this is not how a relationship is meant to be -- a one way street which all traffic is directed to only one person. i have let alot of things slide, not living by expectations, and understanding the heart of one rather than their words, but i would need an extra enlargement by Him this time round.

always i have thought of you, knowing how you would react, or like, or feel, considering all factors involving all of you and nothing less. knowing even being truthful you might take it the wrong way, hence the explanation and instead of that, i was screamed with the words: judgement and consequences. wow, what two very wrong words they both carry, even with being apologetic twice and meaning it twice.

a person's true character really shines only through rough waters than calm. to see forth the longivity in what one may value and what one may truly believe.

and with all that, i get blamed for what is going on where initially the tension was all on you which you blatantly denied. as well as doing the final move of ignoring my fifth and final reach out which took so much of His grace to do so, and being shut completely off with no absolute clue, leaving me with stains on the whole situation in a worsen state,

NO MORE. NO, MORE.

one's joy is not stolen, unless they allow it - not even the down right harshness. for much have been trashed, much will also be deleted, and perhaps, just perhaps, it only lasted for a season - the word that i feared and doubt, and so hard to embrace.

but i trust not in the faithfulness of my own, but His. something lost is another opportunity for a restoration in a more complete and gentler form than before.

in the mean time, as a kind soul has enoucraged me:

"after awhile, whatever that God doesn't give weight to, it will pass. :)"

Monday, November 14, 2011

{ NO MORE. Pt. 1 }

interesting where the SAME issue that cuts deep (on both ends of course), resonates not among those who lies on the surface of your heart, but within the rare gems who you keep extremely close to, treasuring and thinking the world of.

somehow, the glimpse of march is replaying but with a different character, simlar situations, but different reasons - initially you may blindly think it could be the obvious reasons as it happened in all the previous experiences, but apparently not (which i regretted etting it out, even when being truthful to a love one, which ended up hurting instead).

is it okay to be selfish this time round? is like there was an ultimate reached the last time, accumulated with experiencing the scorching heat that relentlessly did not stop. oh it will and shall and most definitely be the ENDING of this vicious cycle this time round.

have thought back and realized that of all the similar situations, the reasons were so clear and ended up being scarily true (and some even more) - which took the other party a hard time to swallow. hence forgiveness, being the bigger person, doing the right thing and continuous giving from the recipient end of that (which was always yours truly) had to be done, even when felt being wronged.

honestly, have looked around and thought, hmm.. am i the only one who is going through this? getting treated not the way that one would like to? not saying that everyone is perfect, but at least can they have a decency to not act upon their unstablized emotions and immediately take it out on one that has not done anything ill to deserve it.

if one has done so, one would understand the reason behind such treatment, but what happens when it just pops up unexpectedly and undeservingly? just to ponder on that goes no where but mere thoughts of the possible causes which still leaves you hanging cluelessly.

so that is why we cannot use flesh to battle with flesh -- for the Spirit reveals what man cannot and WILL not.

- selah -

funny how you are almost healed from a current fall out, that another one creeps up again. how can one determine how long your healing should be, and expecting fast recovery instead of having the patience of support and love? did i say to get over yours even if it has been for years comparative to the months i have accumlatied? fair isn't it..

love is not hard to do, is the CONTINOUS act of it beyond all circumstances and expectations is what causes people to hold back, build up unnecssary tension and eventually, lost of a relationship which you did not even think of hapenning in the first place.

God does go through moments like this with us. He did not say "though I walk through the valley.." for no apparent reason. it is purely for times where is so unbearable, especially the ones that you feel like giving up - not only because of the situation, but the unwanted tumoil of emotions that comes with it.

my heart is EXTREMELY tender right now, but He is also strengtening it at the same time, bringing out extra endurance that you would say comes only supernaturally.

for both situations, i thought the other person would be of a much stronger character, perhaps we are all like this on the outside, but it is what matters in the inside. and i am going to say this:

will NEVER again have ANYONE to dedate how i should be feeling, or should be living up to their expectations, because EVERYONE deserves a right to be heard in all sort of manners -- not in a way that is disrespectful in public, but one that is supported behind close doors.

will NEVER again let this tension and hurt from another hold be down nor destroy me. their personal issues will NOT be tranferrable and affect His joy and peace in me. i'd ENOUGH with reasoning and finding solutions for others peace and comfort -- it is time to care for my own.

even when grace is not recepriocated from another, even when a constant reach hand is repeartedly declined from another, even when one is misunderstood and not heard from another, I DONT CARE ANYMORE. i just plainly don't -- and this is the VERY first time i am saying this, WITHOUT feeling bad or condemed even when another person words is playing in my ears.

NEVER want to play the savior mode ever again. that burden is far too much to bear, and wasn't even meant to be part of our role, THE SAVING IS ALWAYS BEEN HIS, AND I REALLY NEED TO KNOW THAT, and also to live by it.

HIS hand is ONLY the one that does the reaching out, HIS heart is the ONLY the one that does the unconditional loving, HIS word is ONLY the one that does the convicting, HIS spirit is the ONLY one that does the revealing, HIS grace is the only one that does the amazing and HIS actions is the ONLY one does the transforming.

NOT mine, NOT anyone else, NOT ever.

FINALLY putting this matter and all else that was from the past to rest -- going back to the cross, laying it ALL down, falling right at His feet, and just doing what we are called to do, which is just to WORSHIP Him. this is the HIGEST calling that He has given each and everyone of us, and i shall answer it because of the pure conviction that He is love, He is good and He is able.

- selah -

Sunday, November 13, 2011

{ Our God. Pt. 1 }

i choose not to entertain thoughts that are not in line with His word, not in line with His promises, and not in line with His character which hunches on His goodness, His grace and His love. anything less, is a lie in itself which holds no power or stronghold in our lives no more. hence there shan't be a wasted time spent focusing on the things that He has already overcome with the greatest price of His life.

oh no, my God that i graciously and humbly serve did not die in vain, so i can spend my life on this earth not appreciating and grasping the full aftermath of what He has fulfilled and redeemed us from. because of His love, i can dare to come boldly to His throne of grace, embracing the gift of His righteousness, and soaking in His abundant grace.

glory to The Lamb! for indeed You are worthy to be praised!

Friday, November 11, 2011

{ Assumptions vs. Discernment Pt. 3 }

assumptions truly makes as ass of you and me. it has nothing to do with God, and everything to do with self -- what one beliefs solely upon, what one swears by, and what one uses their abilities in utter reliance of their past experiences. and that one we are talking about, is me.

have came to an end of my abilities, even the Godly ones -- because at times i realize, that my trust is not of the Giver but the gift. and with all the succeeded experiences, i would presume that since i was mostly right then, why wouldn't it be different this time? boy i was wrong.

(under assumption = 'i' count so far: four, 'God' count so far: one)

the sense of failure cripples and questions the rest of the times that God has truly given us insights upon the matter or character. condemnation always takes your eyes off His finish work, and puts it on yourself and sense of failure and lack. "are you sure you were right all the other times?"

this is the first ever mistake i have made, though it came off as a question rather an accusation. one lesson learnt: even if being truthful is seen as honesty in love by one's heart, many cannot withhold it and take such brutal transparency. i personally may not take it as an offense either way (unless being doubted otherwise), however that does not apply to everyone as we got different security and comfort levels.

thought we were meant to be heart-fully honest with one another in a relationship, wisdom is key in all sense of execution in one's private mind. and now i painfully have that sense of realization. one may seem strong in character, but it is through these testings that one's true self will arise. we are all human's after-all with entirely different weaknesses which His strength has found a perfect place to work in.

however, once He has done a marvelous transformation in us, His likeness is characterized in us, and making itself of permanence and concrete in our very being. and we come out never the same.

"as You told me again Lord, that my weaknesses is not a downer for our esteem or spirit, though man may view it that way in condemning forms, but our weakness are just a gentle reminder of how much we desperately need to depend on You."

Thursday, November 10, 2011

{ Assumption vs Discernment Pt. 2 }

"Among the gifts of the Spirit scarcely one is of greater practical usefulness than the gift of discernment.

This gift should be highly valued and frankly sought as being almost indispensable in these critical times.

This gift will enable us to distinguish the chaff from the wheat and to divide the manifestations of the flesh from the operations of the Spirit."

A.W. Tozer


1. Ask of Him.

"Behold, I have done as you asked. I have given you a wise, discerning mind, so that no one before you was your equal, nor shall any arise after you equal to you."
1 Kings 3:12

"I am Your servant; give me understanding (discernment and comprehension), that I may know (discern and be familiar with the character of) Your testimonies."
Psalm 119:125

"Let my mournful cry and supplication come [near] before You, O Lord; give me understanding (discernment and comprehension) according to Your word [of assurance and promise]."
Psalm 119:169


2. Seek of Him.

"The entrance and unfolding of Your words give light; their unfolding gives understanding (discernment and comprehension) to the simple."
Psalm 119:130

"The beginning of Wisdom is: get Wisdom (skillful and godly Wisdom)! [For skillful and godly Wisdom is the principal thing.] And with all you have gotten, get understanding (discernment, comprehension, and interpretation)."
Proverbs 4:7


3.  Led by Him.

"So [David] was their shepherd with an upright heart; he guided them by the discernment and skillfulness [which controlled] his hands."
Psalm 78:72

"With his mouth the godless man destroys his neighbor, but through knowledge and superior discernment shall the righteous be delivered."
Proverbs 11:9

When a land transgresses, it has many rulers, but when the ruler is a man of discernment, understanding, and knowledge, its stability will long continue.
Proverbs 28:2

4.  Know of Him.

"But let him who glories glory in this: that he understands and knows Me [personally and practically, directly discerning and recognizing My character], that I am the Lord, Who practices loving-kindness, judgment, and righteousness in the earth, for in these things I delight, says the Lord."
Jeremiah 9:24

"For what person perceives (knows and understands) what passes through a man's thoughts except the man's own spirit within him? Just so no one discerns (comes to know and comprehend) the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God."
1 Corinthians 2:11

Do you not discern and understand that you [the whole church at Corinth] are God's temple (His sanctuary), and that God's Spirit has His permanent dwelling in you [to be at home in you, collectively as a church and also individually]?
1 Corinthians 3:16

5. Filled by Him.

"For this reason we also, from the day we heard of it, have not ceased to pray and make [ special] request for you, [asking] that you may be filled with the full (deep and clear) knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom [ in comprehensive insight into the ways and purposes of God] and in understanding and discernment of spiritual things--"
Colossians 1:9

"PAUL, A bond servant of God and an apostle (a special messenger) of Jesus Christ (the Messiah) to stimulate and promote the faith of God's chosen ones and to lead them on to accurate discernment and recognition of and acquaintance with the Truth which belongs to and harmonizes with and tends to godliness,"
Titus 1:1

"And this is how we may discern [ daily, by experience] that we are coming to know Him [to perceive, recognize, understand, and become better acquainted with Him]: if we keep (bear in mind, observe, practice) His teachings (precepts, commandments)."
1 John 2:3

{ Assumption vs Discernment Pt. 1 }


as·sump·tion

1. something taken for granted; a supposition: a correctassumption.
Synonyms: presupposition; hypothesis,conjecture, guess, postulate, theory.

2. the act of taking for granted or supposing.
Synonyms:presumption; presupposition.

3. the act of taking to or upon oneself.
Synonyms:acceptance, shouldering.

4. the act of taking possession of something: the assumption of power.
Synonyms: seizure, appropriation, usurpation,arrogation.

5. arrogance; presumption.
Synonyms: presumptuousness;effrontery, forwardness, gall.

6. assuming that something is true

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dis·cern·ment

1. The act or process of exhibiting keen insight and good judgment.

2. Keenness of insight and judgment.


(Source: Dictionary.com)

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

{ Matters of The Heart.. Pt. 5 }


"my heart is officially Yours God."

it is no longer mine for keeps, protection and guarding. for You alone shall take full ownership to it, holding it, attending to it, adding value to it, with the leading of Your gentle spirit, the security of Your steadfast faith, and the greatness of Your perfect love that reigns over all fears.

here is my heart: have it Your way; now every beat now beats for You, now peace and joy reigns over here, now the soul yearns for You, and now it is truly satisfied.

i give You eveything I am, everything.

Monday, November 7, 2011

{ Praise Report: God is way good, an aunt for the 3rd time! }


Mike Lee
online

*picture of two positive preg test* (10:11pm)

beckah gonna be a big sister (10:11pm)

{ Matters of The Heart.. Pt. 4 }



and that someone*, is Jesus.

{ Matters of The Heart.. Pt. 3 }


we are not born and made to settle,
for He gives us the best of the very best,
and gives us more than what we do not even deserve.

above and beyond is what You do,
and nothing less.

{ Matters of The Heart.. Pt. 2 }


"Ladies:

Place your heart in the hands of God,
and He will place it in the hands of a man who He believes deserves it." 

- Rev Run