{ Ministry starts at home! }

just ended an awesome fellowship sesh with Dad as it has been quite awhile.. realized how i missed it much and His anointing and ease just flowed through every word of love and encouragement. i will say this again, besides God and Jesus, there's Dad and Mum -- true story!

and it will take beyond countless of blog entries and words to contain how much they have both impacted my siblings and my life. truly God awesome "oldies" (haha) who are so full of His astronomical grace (Dad's fave words) are the number two blessings in our lives besides His relationship with us.

#family is always on His mind and ministry starts at home!

realized that who we are at wherever He has placed us to be, should not change who we are at home. as BJ quotes: "who i am at the pulpit, should be who i am at home."

it is time to allow Him to transform us from the inside out starting at the place that we deem the most comfort of being our true and raw self, our very own home -- where behind doors, where no one is looking, where the public is no where in sight, is where we find our behavior alining to the one that the rest of the world sees.

{ Back to Him.. Pt. 1 }

Ever felt that what you are right now, where you are right now, and who you are with right now, all came with a purpose?

Is this like, yes I know I'm blessed, I know I'm favored, I know I'm loved, I know I'm saved and forgiven, but what is the true reason behind all of that? Definitely not only for our own happy and bless me living but for His very kingdom cause which I want to personally go back to.

Enough with familiarities and the typical routines that we are so formally attached to and occasionally get lost in. And definitely definitely enough with the stain glass masquerade I have got it all together vibe that we have it going all the time.

Time to get real with God and His people -- It is only then His glory can shine through our very own weakness and ugliness of human waste. There the world will know that it not of man, but of Him.

Desperately with my heart and soul want to go back where He has saved me from to the person I am now. Just to go back to the true meaning of what His grace is all about. Go back to His feet and laying everything down. Go back to being humble in His presence of unending love.

No more pretense God. Fill me now.

Do not just want a life of my own, desires or wants or dreams or anything of me, I want a life of Your will to be done on our earth as it is in heaven. This is why we are living and breathing on this earth to make a huge impact of a difference in.

And simply come to and declaring, with no complications or man made religious philosophies, that God is good, God is able and God is love! That's all.

Okay back to Mum as she has been patiently waiting for my hands to get into her hair. Time to be His hands and feet. First up, Mum's mane. Bahaha. Random. Oh bless her.

{ Back at Your feet.. (Where it all started) Pt. 3 }

Rhythms of Grace by Hillsong United

V1.
My life is a life for your cause
My will laid aside for your call
And reserved all the depth Of my heart
Only for You

V2.
I'm caught in the rhythms of grace
They overcome all of my ways
We align in each step that we take
To live for Your glory

C.
There's none beside You God
There's none beside You God

V3.
You're there in dark of the night
While holding the sun and its light
Through the triumph and trials alike
There's no one beside You

V4.
Your voice calls the stars by their name
You whisper them all to their place
To testify of Your wonder and praise
Both now and forever

B.
I live my life to shine Your light
'Cause there is none beside You God

No eye has seen
No ear has heard
The depths of Your love Lord
No mind can fathom
The love You deserve
How great You are

{ Back at Your feet - Pt.2 }

"We can never box God in.. And the creativity He has in each and everyone of us .." (JD)

"I don't wanna write songs that pleases every Christian out there.. I wanna write heaven songs.. that connect people everywhere.. those who are searching.." (Joel Houston)

"With everything we got, use it for the glory of God, however that looks.." (JD)

"At the end of the day, I want people to hear our music, feel closer to who God is...that's what its all about" (Joel Houston)

{ Back at Your feet - Pt. 1 }

"The nature of what we do is that we can worship with them and experience God's presence with them. Its a selfless act, has nothing to do with us..." - Dylan Thomas (Hillsong UNITED)

{ i lay it all down.. }

all of it;

every, single, one.

take it all.

-----

G., You're all that i have now,

in my heart, mind, soul and body.

in Your control and will.

{ Beautiful Saviour Pt. 1 }

'Beautiful Savior' by Planetshakers

-----

Jesus, beautiful Saviour.

Call upon His name,
THE name above ALL names.

"Jesus, save me now."

-----

You Lord, the most beautiful being, unyet You chose to sacrifice Yourself in the most ugliest death ever thought possible, in the truest form of a man, and while beaten, bled and nailed, thought about us ABOVE ALL.

can never phantom Your great love sacrifice, but I who was once a sinner, and now eternally righteous, will be forever singing:

"Jesus, i love You."

[TBC.]

{ Travel with a deep consciousness* of God.. }

Your life is a journey you must travel with a deep consciousness of God.

It cost God plenty to get you out of that dead-end, empty-headed life you grew up in. He paid with Christ's sacred blood, you know. He died like an unblemished, sacrificial lamb. And this was no afterthought.

Even though it has only lately—at the end of the ages—become public knowledge, God always knew He was going to do this for you.

It's because of this sacrificed Messiah, whom God then raised from the dead and glorified, that you trust God, that you know you have a future in God.

1 Peter 1:18-19 (The Message)

if the all loving and graceful Father has given us His best of His very best, The Darling of Heaven, so what more will He without a doubt and in a heart-beat not freely give to us?

[TBC..]

{ Toss or Take? Pt. 2 }

"search my heart, and search my soul..
there's nothing else, that i want more..
shine Your light, and show Your face..
in my life, Lord have Your way..

without You, i am nothing."

'search my heart' | united (aftermath)

the #25. tosses and takes, to carry on a new journey..


#1. // take the relationship with G. and allow Him to bring it to a whole other level of experiences ("Your presence is life to me.."), toss distractions.

#2. // take His word and run deeper with it, toss other voices of the world and not be conformed by it.

#3. // take more Christ confidence and security, toss fear and comparison.

#4. // take righteousness as my boss, toss bad habits and characteristics.

#5. // take more quality family time to worship and pray, toss routine activities.

#6. // take more of  Jesus and thoughts of others, toss all of yourself.

#7. // take mornings to do a sit down devo with Him, toss the ones 'on the go'.

#8. // take more character and wisdom, toss personality and impulse.

#9. // take more prayer and walking, toss action and talking.

#10. // take in focus and full completion of tasks, toss procrastination.

#11. //  take the God impossible life, toss the possible back to the world.

#12. // take maturity and stretching, toss familiarity and comfort.

#13. // take more worship, toss anything less.

#14. // take gentleness and femininity, toss aggressiveness.

#15. // take things that edifies, toss ones that toxifies.

#16. // take in domestication, toss the mum dependency.

#17. // take evenings to walk feebs and care for her well, toss more of the mum dependency.

#18. // take more practices, toss tendencies of swinging it.

#19. // take more organization and priority, toss mess and half past six 'tude.

#20. // take more humility, toss all pride.

#21. // take time to care for my body and health, toss laziness.

#22. // take more listening, toss butting in and need to say the right thing.

#23. //  take more forgiveness and grace, toss grudges and bitterness.

#24. // take more love and more love unconditionally, toss hatred.

#25. // take more praises of thanksgiving, toss discontentment.

i lay down all my desires and matters of the heart soley to be in the very center of Your will..

"Let Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.."

{ Quarter of a Centch.. }

w/ mum, sam, fel & lil' bex.

cuttin' the cake w/ lil bex.

{ Only Him who understands.. Pt. 2 }

from an event which i thought would be liberating as much was needed to be cleared, it was entirely the very opposite. guess we can never rely on good expectations on man as some may fail us.

thank G. He is the only One that never fails.

being utterly speechless the whole entire time and holding back as i was listening (while I was not paid back the same much), there was never once a connection, never once a sense of care of the actual situation, never once wisdom sprouted, and never once discernment used. and yes, never is a strong term.

it was rather surprising as much respect and honor was placed and now it is only by grace (and i mean extreme amounts of it) that i would be able to see it now. aren't we all in working in progress?

have not experienced so much hurt like never before, and did not realized it when i was talking to mum and had to pause while very rarely, i'd a hurtful cry. have placed much value in which was meant very dearly to me and now i have to painfully let it go?

going to STAND and face the first one up for the very last time, and after that, it will be rebuilding from the very beginning. where to have that strength and tenacity, is sourcing from the very One Himself.

re-stand, re-store, re-new, and re-buildt.

through it all, besides G. who i can faithfully lean on to, it would be the number one blessing in my life which is familee and then kingdom mateship, who i can vouch to say carries His big heart of love around.

oh how He loves, through Him and through the hearts of others.

{ Only Him who understands.. Pt.1 }

we can try our best in understanding any situation in our perspective and still not quite get it. one may be terribly and horribly misunderstood or worse yet, hurt in the process of mouthing our very own point of view without a careful mind of thought.

aren't we blessed that G. does not see how man sees?

anything eye level tends to be the very first to be spotted at (and blindly deemed the most obvious) rather than the deeper root of what is the core matter of the very heart. and this takes wisdom, time and discernment, crazy loads of it.

if we get surfaced about everything, nothing gets solved but rather every normality reply to questions are viewed out like it came from an instruction book or manual.

honestly, there was never a need to think of a change, and now it scarily morphs into a thought after much was said.

all i can say is, it is truly Him who understands.

[TBC..]

{ Toss or Take? Pt. 1 }

taking this week before morphing into another era of a quarter of a century to the thirties, (or another box after 18-24), to do some massive cleaning out. and it does not only mean physically like my organized mess of a closet, but also re-prioritizing my life and whatever, and whoever that is in it.

truly, it covers all areas and it is time to do a serious "toss" or "take". even down to personal characteristics and habits that one may tend to hold on because of comfortability sake. now is the moment to toss all toxic and take all that is edifying for yet another exciting journey.

before i can be even able to begin and ready myself for renewal with the task of spring cleaning, first thing is first,

pray.

"God, You teach me and show me what to toss or take in my life. Let Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Amen."

{ Re-valuing* and not De-valuing.. }

everyone has insecurities, no?

i ever wonder if God has created me "normal", because at times my ears cannot phantom the ridiculous things that come out from my mind and straight out of my mouth. oh the word vomit.

truly admire those women who carries themselves in true femininity and pose in a gentler and ladylike projection of their character in all sorts of situation. and why not me? hahaha.

this issue or insecurity to whatever you will call it, has been doing my absolute head in. it is not a crazy form of comparison like some girls will go the extend to, nor it is jealousy which gives out snarky remarks.

all i can say is that maybe i should start appreciating who G. has made me to be, as well as acting with much wisdom without trying too hard? and also having my craziness well over controlled rather than all over like most of the uncalled times.

quite honestly, what you see is what you get (and more perhaps?) -- independent (emotionally wise), un-barbie like, non-flirtatious, naturally very loud, sarcastic, jokes, pokes, sassy, a wee bit prideful with a "i can handle myself" exterior and hmm.. the rest i shan't let out else my heart is literally served on a platter.

yes, a tad insecured much?

as much as we say we do not mind to be alone, (and trust me, i am one who really needs my space!), being alone alone is the one status that we cannot bear to live for that long, even with much pride. guess a wee bit is just two words that tones down what it actually is.

the way men sees, is mainly on the exterior, and that point of view does not last. we are so called human after all with the default of not always having that "anointing" on.

it is time, to put back or truly embrace the value that He has already seen and inputed in us right from the day He formed our very beings. no more de-valuing but re-valuing.

we're not talking about the value people see in us (cause with that, it does fluctuate). it is the God value that the ultimate creator of the heavens and the earth was willing to even send His only Son to die for us.

One's death, for all's worth.

[TBC..]

{ Freedom*, is here! }

when DZ's back agains in singas, its always a joy and privilege to worship under her God given anointing. it is so effortless with a heart changing impact because she is one wog (Woman of God) that carries out His presence where there is freedom to dance and sing in His house!

oh such joy when you are up the front, gracing the stage with her and her hills crew. the strings and drums were rhythmically mad -- heard the orlando mix johnny looking bloke broke one of the metal symbols with his wooden sticks. now thats pros!

with God flowing in every single one of the notes sung and praise filling up the spaces with His spirit, there was a drastic shift in the atmosphere! our mouths, soul and body were just broken free from the mind set of men's expectations, and now transformed in our true form of worshiping God.

there was absolute liberation and heaven was being pulled down, sweeping everyone of us worshippers deeper into His courts and coming humbly into His throne being just as He made as to be.

oh how He loves us.