{ Re-valuing* and not De-valuing.. }

everyone has insecurities, no?

i ever wonder if God has created me "normal", because at times my ears cannot phantom the ridiculous things that come out from my mind and straight out of my mouth. oh the word vomit.

truly admire those women who carries themselves in true femininity and pose in a gentler and ladylike projection of their character in all sorts of situation. and why not me? hahaha.

this issue or insecurity to whatever you will call it, has been doing my absolute head in. it is not a crazy form of comparison like some girls will go the extend to, nor it is jealousy which gives out snarky remarks.

all i can say is that maybe i should start appreciating who G. has made me to be, as well as acting with much wisdom without trying too hard? and also having my craziness well over controlled rather than all over like most of the uncalled times.

quite honestly, what you see is what you get (and more perhaps?) -- independent (emotionally wise), un-barbie like, non-flirtatious, naturally very loud, sarcastic, jokes, pokes, sassy, a wee bit prideful with a "i can handle myself" exterior and hmm.. the rest i shan't let out else my heart is literally served on a platter.

yes, a tad insecured much?

as much as we say we do not mind to be alone, (and trust me, i am one who really needs my space!), being alone alone is the one status that we cannot bear to live for that long, even with much pride. guess a wee bit is just two words that tones down what it actually is.

the way men sees, is mainly on the exterior, and that point of view does not last. we are so called human after all with the default of not always having that "anointing" on.

it is time, to put back or truly embrace the value that He has already seen and inputed in us right from the day He formed our very beings. no more de-valuing but re-valuing.

we're not talking about the value people see in us (cause with that, it does fluctuate). it is the God value that the ultimate creator of the heavens and the earth was willing to even send His only Son to die for us.

One's death, for all's worth.

[TBC..]