✗ "The love we accept" by Esther Whoo ✗

I think that sometimes, we get scared of letting go of "second best" because we don't believe that "the best" is actually out there. Better to be with someone who may not be 100% right for us than to have nobody at all. Sound familiar? Everyone wants to be loved and to have someone who cares about them, but we can fall into the dangerous trap of lowering our standards because we don't want to be single forever. I'm so thankful that I realized this, otherwise I may have missed out on "the best" for me.

Often, the love that we accept is the love that we think we deserve. It makes sense. If you don't think you're valuable and unique... If you don't think you're anyone special... Well, you'll most likely end up with someone who doesn't think so either. But it's amazing what starts to happen when you begin accepting and loving yourself. You begin to see others differently... You begin to choose relationships differently... You begin to live life differently.

Well meaning family and friends can say, “You’re too picky!” But I say, "Be picky!" You don’t want to resent the person you are dating if there is something you really don’t like about them. That will just cause tension and bitterness in the end. When you are honest with yourself and with that other person, you actually set both of you free. If he isn't right for you, then guess what? You aren't right for him! What a relief for you both!

You deserve someone who makes you laugh, who knows when to be serious and to comfort you and who you want to come home to at the end of the day. You deserve someone who is as hardworking and motivated as you are and who is kind and caring towards you and others. You deserve someone who will love you through the ups and downs, who will love your flaws and who will be there in the tough times, not just the happy times.

I want to encourage you to love yourself enough to refuse settling for second best. It may mean making some hard decisions, but short term pain is better than long term disappointment and heartbreak. Life's too short and we only live it once. Don't settle. Ever.