There is one small thing in life I think is crucial for us all to understand: it is NOT about us. It is not about YOU. Yea, I said it! It isn't. It doesn't start with you, it doesn't end with you. You are, just like I am, nothing but a little speck of magic dust in the universe.
By that I don't mean that you are not of huge importance and significance, because you are; but I do mean that if you spend your life living empty and aimlessly, you can fail to leave behind a legacy you are proud of. Thankfully, with every new day, a new opportunity to turn that around comes our way.
Here is part III for my weakness and strength post. My third realization:
It was never about me to begin with.
Of course when we do something, big or small, we intend to be successful at it. I've never met a person who didn't want to succeed. What makes all the difference though, is whether or not you are able to understand what 'success' actually means in that particular thing you are doing and in life as a whole. I don't think people stop and think long enough to actually answer those very important questions: What is success in what you are doing? What is success in life? Because success doesn't necessarily mean "did you make good money, do you have a good career or did you get good grades"; success means: did you accomplish what you wanted to accomplish. Are you fulfilling your purpose here? You- little speck of magic dust you- are you "successful"?
Here are two very important factors (that are not as obvious as they should be) in being successful:
Don't be Selfish.
For some reason we are born with this idea that its all about us. It all revolves around us. We don't like to share.. try taking a toy from a 2 year old.. or try to get a teenager to share his brand new bike with his brother... Or try to take the control remote from a grown man after he gets home from work... IMPOSSIBLE! We just don't like to share. Sharing is something that we learn to do, that we need to force ourselves to remember to do. It is not our natural instinct per se.
Just like serving. If you look at it practically, if you keep it all to yourself, you have more. If people serve you and not the other way around, you are "above". So why is that not true?
From life experience, I've come to notice that those who share and serve the most are most successful and happiest. Note I put success with happiness because TRUE success brings TRUE happiness. That, to me, exposes another misconception of modern society. We are taught that money, fame, power = success. So that should mean that they are all happy, right? Wrong. I can tell you I have seen more unhappiness in the rich, famous, and powerful than I'd know what to do with.
If you are defined by your success, and your definition of success is "more", you will NEVER be happy. Because More, by definition, is never enough.
Serve others.
Strength is supposed to be used for service, not status. When we recognize we are blessed and that we are strong, there are two natural responses to that- either pride or gratitude. Unfortunately, the most common one is pride. Fortunately, the most beautiful and liberating one is gratitude.
Once you realize the simplicity of this truth and actually strive to make that your reality, you will notice how your world expands. When you do things for others, you become part of something bigger than yourself. My life motto is "Love all, serve all". Its not an easy motto, but its a recipe for success.
Success equals joy. Loving and serving equals joy. Therefore, loving and serving equal success.
I asked my friend Carl Lentz to give me a couple of thoughts on joy vs happiness, and this is what he said.
"Happiness is fleeting and it's feeling based.. Joy can be CONSTANT and is CONVICTION based... Our world will do anything to be "happy"!!! Drugs and money can actually do that.. But joy is so much deeper and can only be found through choosing to serve others... Over time, yes, happiness is present! But it's not our AIM... Few people even know what joy is!!! It doesn't sing as good as Pharrell's "happy" but it keeps you much more grounded and impacting.. Your whole site is really about serving others= JOY... Truth is, serving others can feel terrible. Letting other people in front? Promoting them? Watching people you are not fond of, win? Sometimes it sucks!!! But it's RIGHT.. And joy comes out of it... Joy= internally controlled.. My world... Happiness= externally controlled..your world! You can make me unhappy. But you can't steal my joy!!
Joy... Now that, to me, is the right idea of success.
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