:: "No other name" by Hillsong ::

fell in love with half of this album of golden tunes. super stoked for the actual release that is soon becoming. eyes have lifted, hearts are filled, and desires overly met. xxx

:: "Friday" (ft. Jang Yi-jeong) by IU ::

:: Hearts over ambitions ::

:: From ordinary to something extra ::

"Maybe the day to start following the dreams God put in your heart is today, but things may not change dramatically. The path to a fulfilled dream is filled with ordinary days brimming with ordinary chores and surrendered to an extraordinary God.” 

- Lysa TerKeurst

:: Unafraid to make mistakes ::

"You can't be too afraid of making mistakes or you're never going to step out and try to do anything."

- Joyce Meyer

:: Culture of honour (Pt. 4) ::

"It's impossible to require honor. You can require applause, obedience, outward displays of recognition, but real honor comes from the heart and cannot be demanded."

- Bill Johnson

:: "Maya Angelou" by Ben Hughes ::

:: Noise ::

"At the end of the day, they are just words."

- Carrie

:: Kissed by grace ::

:: LOVE recognises no barriers ::

:: From wounds to life ::

:: Goodnight ::

"He never sleeps nor slumbers so there's no use both of you staying awake..." 

- Christine Caine

:: No other name (Pt. 2) ::

"Therefore, God elevated Him to the place of highest honour and gave Him the name above all other names."

—Philippians 2:9

:: He's on it ::

"While you are waiting, God is working."

- Dream Center

:: Feeling Special ::

:: Power to be kind ::

:: Broken Together ::

ps. "The beauty of brokenness is that it allows us to focus on grace rather than perfection." xxx

:: Sliding off the offence ::

"If you want to avoid ugly in conflict, you must have a plan for how are you going to respond when someone pushes that giant red button on your chest and invites you into a dual. There's a real chance that person who pushed that button is already under the influence of fear, pain, anger and may not be ready to manage themselves well in the conversation."

- Danny Silk

:: Braving It ::

:: Welcome home (Pt. 5) ::

"Imagine what church could be like if we all cared, if we all contributed, if we are all soul winners."

- Ps. Gary James Clarke

:: Not settling ::

"You don't have to settle for less than your destiny."

- Paula White

:: "You make me brave" by Amanda Cook & Bethel Music ::

#bravingit + fearless xxx

:: Change (Pt. 3) // Continue... ::

experiencing a day worth of all the different crew and events is just evident that within much changes, grace has been overly faithful despite it all. sharing, laughing, crying, inspiring and cheering one another on has increased the value and purpose in this life which we are not meant to do alone. these kind of relationships are extremely rare which increases the appreciation of the constant love that has been always available without a question. to find one is like gold, and i have been undeservingly blessed to have a treasure chest worth of these through all seasons of my life.

all kinds of emotions within a day and i have came back full and thinking about everything. is not only making room for new ones who would like to enter into your inner circle, but making time for those who already have been positioned in the core of your inner being. think my break from the outside world is coming to an end. even with the new given opportunities, i would still want to wait till the time is right. not only for one particular area, but that applies to all that i have been trusting Him for. to be real with these desires, i don't want to lower any standards or take whatever that comes my way to be a temporary fix.

mistakes are there for a purpose -- to be lessons which i desire not to put on replay. there is no such thing of a perfect life, but it is how we choose to see, act and love in all situations. i have lived, i have learnt, and i would never want to stop. going to remove that pause button as it has somewhat made it's home. time to see the light and step right out again. two words, baby steps and journey on. (okay i meant five). xxx

ps. "sometimes you have to let a really important piece go, to hold onto something else." - carrie

:: "Brown Eyes" by Destiny's Child ::

:: "12 Mistakes Women Need To Stop Making When It Comes To Their Kryptonite: Men" by Lauren Martin ::

Ladies, what’s wrong with us? Why do we always feel like we’re doing something wrong? Why is it always our problem, our issue that needs to be addressed? Why do we keep making the same mistakes over and over again? Why can’t we just be perfect?

When it comes to men, we have a tendency to overthink, analyze and berate ourselves until we’re left with nothing but broken hearts and a closet full of “mistakes” we wish could take back.

We look at our relationships as ships that only we could crash, forcing ourselves to sink along with them. We wish that we could do it all over again and take back everything that drove him away or made him love us less.

We think of all the things we’d do differently. We’d call him less, look through his phone more, stop looking at his phone, play hard to get, play a little easier to get, and the list goes on.

I have a problem with this. I have a problem because after years of punishing myself over failed relationships and long, single statuses, I’ve realized that maybe our biggest mistake is thinking that we’re making any at all.

Why do we give ourselves the short end of the stick all the time? Why do we take the blame for the way he acted or the reason he left? Why do we only see our own failures and mistakes when clearly the problem is his. I’m tired of women thinking that they are the ones always doing something wrong.

I’m tired of women thinking they need to change to be with a man or that a man is a necessary goal for their happiness. We’ve come too far and done too much to keep believing that we are making the mistakes.

So for women everywhere who are crying over, for or under a man, here are the 12 real mistakes you need to stop making, beginning with thinking that you even need one..

Thinking You Need A Man To Be Happy

You do not need a man. You do not need anyone. Everyone else is just distracting you from getting to know yourself. Men come and go, and maybe one day you will find the right one and settle down, but until then, stop trying to complete your life with anyone but yourself.

Caring About How You Look

You don’t have to be beautiful for anyone. You don’t owe your looks to men. You don’t owe them big boobs or soft skin. You don’t owe them long legs and silky hair. You don’t owe them skinny torsos and painted toenails. They may ask for it, but that doesn’t mean they have a right to it.

Saying Sorry

You haven’t done anything wrong. (Unless you have.) They are not your captors and you are not there to apologize to them. Don’t apologize because your hair is short or your sweater is baggy.

Don’t apologize because you have your period or you don’t want to sleep with them. Don’t apologize because you can’t meet their demands or their requests. You are a woman who needs no apologies.

Worrying About Someone’s Needs Over Your Own

Stop trying to make men happy. You are supposed to take care of yourself and worry about your own needs first. Don’t do things for him just because it will make him happy. Don’t value yourself as nothing more than a slave to his demands. Remember, your needs are just as important as are his.

Putting Your Worth In Him

Your worth is not determined by any man. You don’t need a man to be happy nor should you judge yourself on the opinion of one.

There’s no reason to think that just because you are single that you are worth less than if you were attached. You are strong and independent, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Wanting More Than He Can Give

Stop looking for a boyfriend in a boy who doesn’t want to be associated with the word. If you know he can’t give you what you want then move on or accept that. Stop trying to turn him into something he doesn’t want to be, because in the end, you will be the only one who ends up changing.

Missing Him

Mourning a man is as stupid as crying over milk that hasn’t even spilled yet, a waste of time and only creating more troubles for yourself.

Lamenting over men who will never love you or men you can’t be with will only keep you from meeting the ones who can. Don’t give them your tears, because even tears are worth something.

Giving Him All Your Time

Don’t be that girl who forgets about everyone who was there for her before he came into the picture. Don’t let a man take you away from everything you once knew and loved. Because before him, these things were important to you. Don’t give him everything just because he may feel like yours right now.

Chasing Him

A strong woman chases no one. If he is worth your time and your love, he will figure it out on his own. Don’t let him think that he’s worth the chase, because the more he runs, the further behind you get.

Believing Him

Just because a man says that you’re beautiful doesn’t mean he’ll treat you that way. Men have a tendency to talk out of their asses and putting any worth in what they say is as futile as wishing on pennies.

Men know what will make you happy, but many times they are able to trick you with just the promise of it. Expect nothing from them and you will never end up disappointed.

Giving Him Power

Men often may be physically stronger than you, but that means nothing. Do not make them feel like they could ever own you, because no mind nor soul can be dominated by pure strength. Do not become objects to men that they can just buy and sell.

Do not fight against other women for their attention. Do not give them anything more than the same respect you give your sisters.

Regretting Him

Regretting men you’ve been with is as fruitless as crying over them. If you did something you didn’t want to do, gave your power away to someone who didn’t deserve it or belittled yourself for his benefit, learn from it. Remember those feelings so you will never do anything to feel that way again.

:: "12 Signs You’re Dating A Man, Not A Boy" by Paul Hudson ::

Ladies, real men do exist – and not those poor excuses you’re used to dating either. There are fully grown-ass men in this world and they would love to be with you.

The truth is that you don’t have to settle for whatever boy comes your way. In fact, you shouldn’t settle; you’re doing yourself a real injustice. If you’re going to be with a man then be with a grown-ass man. Simply put, they’re better for you. They’re more fun. They’re more reliable. And they’re better in bed.

There really is no reason to date the schmucks you’ve been dating. Although, to be fair, it can be hard to tell the difference – especially at first glance. But with time, it’s easy to separate the men from the boys. In case you need a little extra help, here’s a checklist for you:

1. His apartment looks like an apartment.

Not a frat house. Not a zoo. Not a garbage dump, but an actual apartment. He doesn’t necessarily have to have his own place. Nor does it need to be extravagantly furnished, but you should be able to distinguish the floor from the rest of the place.

Grown men take pride in surrounding themselves with an environment that supports an active and healthy lifestyle. If he’s too lazy to keep his place clean then he’s definitely too lazy for the more important things in life.

2. He does what he does because he loves to do it – he’s more than capable of motivating himself.

This isn’t to say that a guy working at McDonald’s isn’t a grown-ass man. Unless, of course, that’s where he plans on staying. It’s really all about the plan. Grown men have plans to get themselves from point A to point B. More importantly still, they are driven to do so.

3. He doesn’t ever need a babysitter.

No matter how drunk he is, no matter the situation… if your man is able to take care of himself and get his sh*t done, then he’s a grown man.

If you’re dating a guy who needs you to carry him home after a night out or to keep a leash on him so he doesn’t go off an do something stupid, then I think you know the kind of guy you’re dating.

4. When he has a problem, he speaks his mind – and does so calmly and respectively.

You see, grown men don’t just go about agreeing with everything their women say. They have a mind of their own and they’re more than happy to speak their opinions. However, they do so respectfully and are always open to hearing your thoughts on the matter.

5. He has his priorities straight – and you know you’re most definitely one of them.

Guys who are lost in life aren’t much more than boys. Men have direction. Boys have playtime. If your man knows what he wants out of life and gives all those things that are most important to him attention and care, then you have yourself a winner.

6. He takes care of himself – body and mind.

His body is his temple and his mind is his high-priest. He lives by his own religion – his own philosophies. He understands that in order to feel good, you have to feel healthy. He’s a well-oiled machine, inside and out.

7. He supports you and your dreams, always encouraging you and keeping things positive.

It’s the men who tell you that you can’t do something, that you can’t accomplish something, who are poisonous. Grown men don’t like to use the word “can’t,” especially when it comes to the women they love.

8. He doesn’t complain because he knows complaining doesn’t yield results.

He puts his nose to the grind and produces results. Bitching is for bitches. He’s a grown-ass man.

9. He makes decisions, but is more than comfortable with allowing you to take the wheel.

There is never a need to have one of those pointless “what do you want to do?”, “I don’t know, whatever you want to do” conversations. If you ask him what he wants to do, he gives you options, not a question or a volley in response.

10. When he has you alone, he isn’t interested in anything other than you.

He’s not concerned with the show on TV, the music on the radio or anything other than getting you undressed. He’s a man, an animal. And he is more than keen to let the animal out to play.

11. He admits that he is wrong when he is wrong.

He doesn’t point fingers or try to maneuver out of the situation. He understands that being wrong is part of human nature. There’s no shame in it. He understands that you can’t learn if you can’t admit you’re wrong.

12. He knows your value and appreciates you for you.

He doesn’t just tell you he loves you – he shows you he loves you. To him, you are a part of his life. You are an extension of him.

He cares about you and knows that words fall short of the emotions he feels for you. He’s not shy to show you he loves you because you are one of the most important aspects of his life.

:: "XO" (Beyonce) by John Mayer ::

:: Rich & Poor ::

“ We are rich only through what we give: and poor only through what we refuse and keep. ”

— Anne Swetchine

:: Be part of the solution ::

end it movement.

:: Keep going (Pt. 28) ::

:: "Where God Wants You To Go In Your Worst Situations" by Steven Furtick ::

:: No place I'd rather be ::

"I don't ever want to lose the simple, grateful heart of worship. I never feel closer to who I truly am than when I sit humbly in His presence."

Chris Tomlin

:: Heyya haters ::

“He that has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another, than he whom you yourself have obliged.”

Benjamin Franklin

:: "13 Reasons It’s Better To Be The Person Who Cares More" by Chelsea Fagan ::

I am always the person who cares a little too much. My feelings are all open and tender, I tend to come on a little too strong in platonic relationships, and I meet “emotional chilliness” with “turning the sincerity up to 11.” And yes, sometimes it sucks. Sometimes you get hurt. But in the end, I believe that it’s always better to feel just a little too much than not enough, and here is why.

1. People feel comfortable talking to you.

Sometimes you just give off those vibes like you cry over OWN documentaries and are ready whenever someone needs to talk. And yes, that can mean that you are occasionally overwhelmed with all of the various villagers’ problems (such as sickly livestock or interference from Trickster Gods), but it’s the best! When people know they can come to you, and that you are a space of non-judgment, nothing is more lovely and human.

2. You don’t have to pretend to be cool. 

Pretending to be cool and aloof and not care about things when you definitely do care is very, very hard. I’m capable of pretending to be cool for about twenty minutes until I’ve exhausted myself completely. The thing about having a lot of feelings is that you never have to pretend to be cool and removed, because everyone knows you’re neither of those things already!

3. You are open to falling in love.

Whether it’s making a new friend at a dive bar while waiting to get served, or going into online dating with an open heart and mind, there is something great about always feeling ready and excited for the next — often unexpected — source of love in your life.

4. You get to geek out.

Just this morning, I sent an email with like thirty exclamation points, because I just couldn’t contain myself. I was too excited about the subject matter, and too overwhelmed to take a moment to check all of the typos that I was definitely sending. But that’s the great thing about caring: you get to geek out! You get to be overwhelmed with joy and eagerness, and not care about how you look.

5. When you hurt, you confront it head-on.

There are some people who can suppress all of their unpleasant feelings over and over like some kind of trash compactor, until (I assume) it all emerges in some fiery ball of hate and disgust and tears towards the end of their lives. But when you care openly, you just can’t do that. If you’re sad, you’re gonna be sad, and you’re going to feel it for a while! And it kind of sucks in the moment, but the feeling is confronted and dealt with and understood. (And then, hopefully, moved on from.)

6. You get to cry!

I don’t care what anyone says, a good cry every now and then is a healthy, fun activity. It’s a workout for the soul.

7. Your relationships are deeper.

There is a certain depth that you can only achieve with another person — be they friend or SO — if you are willing to be vulnerable and (possibly) rejected. We’ve all encountered the people who are always one step ahead of the other person, never quite giving up their feelings. And yes, they can break hearts. But there are many things they will likely not get to experience.

8. You already know what heartbreak feels like.

Once you have dealt with a serious, humiliating rejection that stemmed from you caring way more than the other person, you know you can survive it. You know that everything is a little less scary, and a little more worth going for.

9. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. 

Yeah, you can refuse to ever put yourself out there and be the one to say “I love you” first, or tell someone directly that “Hey, this is really hurtful, and it makes me sad.” But then you will never get the chance to experience all the great things that can come with that, such as someone saying “I love you, too” or “I’m sorry, I didn’t meant to hurt you.” And honestly, those things are so worth the risk.

10. You are a braver person all around. 

People with a lot of feelings, in a world of text messages and swiping to reject someone and pretending to be cool on Twitter, are pretty courageous.

11. You get to experience the full spectrum of life. 

Sometimes people will make fun of you for being a bit of an emotional spaz, but the great thing about dancing at your desk and running down the street and crying over an email is that you really get to feel everything. You take everything in in a full way, and don’t numb yourself to any of the great feelings that life has to offer.

12. Your heart is always open. 

Yes, Big married Natasha and we all thought that Carrie’s heart would pop out of her chest and just roll away down the street. But she kept that bad boy open, and look what happened! We can (and should) all be Carrie. (Except without all the shoe-debt and cheating. Actually, let’s be Charlotte! And let’s cry over the scene where Harry proposes to her.)

13. You get to be happy! 

At the end of the day, the greatest thing about being open emotionally is that you get to be really, truly, unabashedly happy. You get to enjoy things and tell people how much you care about them and feel all the joy that comes with expressing your affection. So go ahead, tell that friend “I love you!” or text your crush how much you like being around them. The worst thing that can happen is they don’t feel quite the same. The best thing that can happen is a life of shared joy with the people who really matter to you. Come on.

:: Be irreplaceable, be different ::

:: "The 5 Things That Make A Woman More Beautiful Than Her Makeup Does" by Katie Gonzales ::

We women have it rough. Between all the plucking, primping, straightening and exfoliating, we’re often so preoccupied with getting our look just right for the Instagram photos that will be inevitably uploaded, we forget the first rule our mothers ever taught us: It’s the inner beauty that counts.

But there are a few women out there who’ve taken those words to heart, and don’t feel the need to wear makeup — in the workplace, out to dinner or (heaven forbid) at the gym.

These women really get it right. Because they’ve realized that it’s not their curled lashes or Cara Delevigne-esque eyebrows that make them pretty. There’s so much more to them and what they want to portray to the outside world than their Kardashian-approved contouring abilities.

Oftentimes, the women who show so much right upfront are the ones with nothing good going on underneath. Instead, the women who don’t wear makeup are perfect examples as to why it’s not your face that makes you beautiful.

When we strip away the cat-eye eyeliner and caked-on foundation, what is there that makes a woman’s inner beauty show through?

It’s what she does in the everyday moments and how she carries herself in difficult situations that are the real measures of a woman’s ability to shine, inside and out.

The five things listed below certainly make a woman beautiful, and they can’t be purchased at your local Sephora.

Her Passions

Passionate people are the happiest people, because they’ve figured out what drives them in life, and they care enough to pursue those goals.

When a woman is too preoccupied with saving the rainforest or fighting for minimum wage reform or being a boss in the corporate world, she doesn’t have time to fret about what goes onto her face.

But it isn’t the day-to-day work that makes her blossom — having a sense of purpose and being strong enough to pursue it makes this woman a special type of attention-grabbing beautiful, because you can’t help but be gravitated to her presence whenever she walks into a room.

Her Compassion

Beauty might be in the eye of the beholder, and someone who cares more about others than they do themselves is truly a pretty person.

It’s not easy to put others over yourself, to be able to empathize with individuals you’ve never personally encountered.

But the sign of a truly beautiful person is that you can look past other people’s façades, and relate to them on a deeper level. With the ability to empathize, a woman doesn’t have to be made up to make a real and meaningful connection.

It almost doesn’t even matter what she looks like — she exudes an attitude that lets others know she understands them.

Her Mind

George Clooney’s recent engagement to human rights lawyer Amal Alamuddin has proven to the guys what my fellow females have known for a long time — smart is sexy.

When a woman can hold her own in a conversation or debate, or can come up with creative solutions to her company’s business problems, she doesn’t need to rely on the superficial to make her feel beautiful or accomplished.

Her words create a better impression than the most flawless look could ever achieve. This woman is beautiful because she’s rendered you in a state of awe with exactly the right asset.

Her Fun-Loving Spirit

If a woman won’t go skinny dipping because she’s afraid of ruining her carefully-crafted bedroom eye look, then she’s simply another example of someone with mixed up priorities.

But the woman who doesn’t wear makeup is fearless and unafraid to embrace much of what comes her way.

Jumping at every opportunity and challenge is only made difficult if you constantly have to be made up. A beautiful woman is freed from these constrictions, and free to let her fun side take over at every whim.

When smiling ear-to-ear at the prospect of yet another spontaneous adventure, women are beautiful, even if they’re barefaced.

Her Resilience

In the face of tragedy or tough situations, some women rise above, or even just simply make it through. These experiences — while harrowing — impact the people we eventually become.

Besting these situations makes women beautiful because the knowledge that we can overcome means we’ll be stronger, more confident and self-assured.

Sad eyes or worry lines aren’t issues that need to be fixed with cheery eye shadow colors or Botox injections.

Rather, they are reminders of what women have been through and conquered. That’s a type of beautiful that can’t be faked with makeup.

Beauty isn’t about being perfect — it’s about being yourself. And you don’t need any makeup to let your personality come across.

:: "How to not sell your dreams for a couple bucks" by Esther Houston ::

I get so many questions about fulfilling dreams. How do you achieve the life you've dreamed of? How do you fulfill dreams? There is no black and white answer to that, at least none that Im aware of. But I can try to give a couple tips I've learned from experience.

Don't sell your dreams for a couple bucks.

Even if you think you will be buying your dreams by selling them for a couple of bucks. You won't. Don't do that. Not under any circumstance. No matter how tempting. Even if short term you seem to have accomplished what you wanted, and you're happy, longterm you won't be.

Our dreams don't only consist of the end goal; our dreams are a built up collection of our passions, our values and our goals.

Selling yourself short, or putting yourself through compromising situations just for the sake of getting something you want out of it, is never a good idea. That is a subtle way of accepting that you are not good enough. By doing that you may accomplish a goal, maybe even get to experience some of your passions. But you will be ignoring your values.

Values dictate where your life will go long term.

Not your career, not your success, but your values. Knowing your values will keep you from making bad decisions on a big scale. We all make bad decisions here and there, but when it comes to big life decisions, they rely on your values. What do you value? What are you willing to accept? Where do you draw the line? How much do you consider yourself to be worth? How much love will you accept in your life?

The love you accept, is the love you think you deserve. 

If you are in a bad or abusive relationship ask yourself this question: Do you believe you're worth more than that? Or do you think thats all the love you deserve and that is why you've decided to settle? Reconsidering my values changed my life. Once I understood that I was actually worth something, I lived like it. And my decisions started reflecting that. 

We are all in the pursuit of happiness. Its even part of the american constitution that we have the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Beautiful. But the pursuit of happiness doesn't include selling your soul for the pursuit of career, wealth or status. There are no shortcuts in life. At least there are no shortcuts to fulfilling your dreams. Even if you get to your goal, if you did it the wrong way, not according to your values, you won't be fulfilled. What a cruel truth. I know, I've been there. So my conclusion now is: if you have a dream, you work hard, but you get there the wrong way you will not find happiness in achieving your dream. Why? Because you've ignored what you valued, in order to achieve what you wanted.

Dreams are made to be pure. They are made to be a collection of our values, passions and goals. Dreams are made as a guide to fulfill your hearts desire.

If you go after your dreams and fail to keep your values unbroken, you lose. You lose because you've pursued your happiness, you've gotten to your dream, and you found nothing there but a broken promise of a happy life.

Be sensitive to the desires of your heart. For where your treasure is, there the desire of your heart will also be. And that heart, that value, is what dictates whether you'll find happiness in the pursuit of your dreams.

:: LOVE never loses ::

"You never lose by loving. You only lose when holding back."

:: Brand, spankin', new ::

not the next, but the new. @J: where to now? xxx

:: True Freedom ::

:: Rising the broken to life (Pt. 3) ::

"God will take you where no one can take you. When people disappoint you, forgive and move on."

Dream Center

:: Change (Pt. 2) // Broken... ::

think the word 'treasure' is beginning to amplify it's purpose and meaning among the modifications of our relationships. seasons come and go, but the two things remaining is Him and the family that has been graced onto us. after so many events that were not expected, and many were not very pleasant to endure, we can only appreciate what is left which is the same people whom have stayed connected since day one.

with the recent mountain that came from within, is another prove that humans still disappoint and carry the label of imperfect beings -- some even worse than others. all this to say that no matter what religion or culture one may claim to be matured at, it goes down to the heart of it all and actually living out the values than just mouthing off the good stuff with a stained soul.

encountering snakes like these, whom sadly most were blood relations, the life of their lies and evil motives will only be crushed -- starting with their heads. and with this, the innocent and vindicated need not lift a finger, but enjoy the effortless victory and undisturbed joy. i only pray for more wisdom and discernment when it comes to trust now, for grace is not harmful yet wise.

no matter how eff'd up and disappointing situations and people are (and i mean it with a capital F), we do not stay the tail, but rise to the head. the only thing that will be going under is everything that is ungodly, including mistakes of our own and others. the mountain is moving and we are definitely not camping here but go through it. our position in the shadows will never be permanent.

am currently not feelin' it and definitely despising the holy moly mask that people tend to utilise as a blanket to cover their shit. Grace is unpretentious and only works beautifully in our absolute ruins and darkest moments -- which is now. it truly cannot get any worse than this, so we are beyond ready to be picked up by Grace for He is the only one who never stops saving us.

i give up. let the broken be raised to life. xxx

:: "Honeymoon Avenue" by Ariana Grande ::

:: Jimmy Fallon & Ariana Grande Sing Broadway Versions of Rap Songs ::

:: "8 Things Healthy Couples Don’t Do" by Ruthie Dean ::

Last week, I saw a woman slam the car door in her husband's face and storm off inside the grocery store. Then there was the couple sitting next to me, the man staring at his phone the entire time his wife shared with him her concerns about one of their children. I saw someone post a rant on Facebook about their spouse that ended with, "MEN!"

Relationships are hard, and we've probably all done something similar to the examples above. But that doesn't excuse the cavalier mistakes we sometimes allow for in our romantic relationships. Dating and especially marriage relationships can be tools for showing Christ's love—to the other person and to those around you. Too often, we take our spouses for granted and forget that good relationships don't just happen. They take work.
It's often harder to see the good relationships, because they aren't out slamming doors and stomping around and airing grievances on social media.

Here are eight things healthy couples don't do:

1. Post Negatively About Each Other on Social Media

12-year-olds post negatively about their boyfriends or girlfriends on social media. It's a catty way to get attention and vent, when the emotionally healthy response is to talk your grievances over with your spouse when the time is right. Don't fall into the trap of getting others on your side, on social media or otherwise, because healthy marriages only have one side.

2. Make Their Career a Priority Rather Than Their Relationship
Yes, career is important. But as you are being pulled in every direction imaginable, something will get less attention, less time. Something in your life will have to be sacrificed. Your goal is to make sure that "something" isn't your relationship. You can always find another job, but you only have one chance to make it work with the love of your life.

3. Have All Their 'Together-Time' With Technology

Of course there will be plenty of times that you're together and using technology, but healthy couples know how to put down their phones and computers and turn off the TV to spend quality time together. Healthy couples don't check Twitter on dinner dates. My husband and I have a rule that we put our phones upstairs each night after work so our dinner or together-time is not interrupted.

4. Avoid Hard Subjects

Relationships are about intimacy. If you can't talk about the hard subjects, then your intimacy factor is off. There are seasons of marriage that are easy, and other seasons where you must make difficult decisions together. Nothing should be off-limits between the two of you, and conversations should always be approached with an abundance of grace and kindness.

5. Punish One Another

Punishing one another often comes out in the silent treatment or withholding sex or affection. Healthy couples know when it's good to take a break from a disagreement, but also know how to come back together and find a resolution.

6. Withhold Forgiveness

Relationships run on forgiveness. You can't have a healthy relationship without abundant forgiveness. The best relationships forgive quickly and frequently. Living with another person will always bring conflict and hurt feelings; the trick is knowing how to handle it. Forgive, and ask for forgiveness.

7. Say 'Yes' to Everything

Healthy couples have good boundaries—with family, with friends and with each other. If I've had a long week at work and my husband asks me to rally and go out with friends on Friday, whose fault is it if I get mad at him on the way home because I didn't want to go in the first place? Mine. Healthy couples know their limits, know how to ask for help, and understand that "no" is a complete sentence.

8. Throw In the Towel

Healthy couples don't give up when things are hard, even when things are really hard. If your spouse is important to you, you can get through this. Quitting is never an option for healthy couples.

:: Keeping thy joy up (Pt. 4) ::

:: This is who I am ::

:: Everlasting LOVE ::

:: Slavery is theft ::

"Slavery is theft -- Theft of a life, theft of work, theft of any property or produce."

Kevin Bales

:: Keeping thy joy up (Pt. 3) ::

"Don't let the possibility of being hurt affect the probability of being ‪happy!"

Paula White

:: Keeping thy joy up (Pt. 2) ::

:: Keeping thy joy up ::

"Negative events don't have to make you negative. Don't be robbed of your joy today!"

Joyce Meyer

:: Rising the broken to life (Pt. 2) ::

"Jesus didn't wait until you were cleaned up & ready. He went and found you while you were lost. You don't ever have to hide ANYTHING from Him."

Christine Caine

:: J., light the way ::

"Instead, You direct me on the path that leads to a beautiful life.
As I walk with You, the pleasures are never-ending,
and I know true joy and contentment."

Psalm 16:11 (The Voice)

:: Change // Greater... ::

change is nearing. it is inevitable, and it had to start with what is the closet to my heart. so many movements, transitions and choices to be made in concrete. i honestly thought where we all are was the final destination. guess there were bigger plans none of us knew of it's existence till now. it is rather bittersweet. Grace will have to lead the way big time with this one. june will be quite a month for everyone. hopefully of greater things in many, many areas. xxx

✗ "Season of Lentz" by Kara Bettis ✗

Pastor Carl Lentz strides though his Williamsburg loft apartment, a brightly lit home overlooking the East River. “Let’s get comfortable,” he says, planting his Starbucks on the coffee table—easier said than done, since we’re surrounded by a bustling team of producers, technicians and cameramen.

CNN is doing a story on him and the explosive growth of Hillsong NYC, the church Lentz pastors. Producers and cameramen are scurrying around both the apartment and his office, located only a floor down.

It’s not a normal day, but nothing to be surprised by, either. In the past three years, 35-year-old Lentz has watched over 240,000 people walk through Hillsong NYC’s doors. An average of 5,050 New Yorkers and visitors attend five Sunday services weekly.

Perhaps most jaw-droppingly, almost 41,000 men and women have given their lives to Christ.
A New York Apostle

In person, Lentz presents an intimidating figure, tall and resembling a sort of hipster Greek statue complete with a scruffy beard, long chain necklace and biblically themed tattoos.

Labeled a “celebrity pastor,” “Jesus Christ’s Superstar” and “apostle of cool” among other things, Lentz lives a lifestyle of constant scrutiny and pressure, yet his congregants and staffers say he’s one of the most humble men they know. He has faced controversy from every side: criticized by both the secular world for his Jesus talk and by fellow Christians for his controversial style; a style that includes, among other things, a commitment to not talk about “behavior modification” from the pulpit.

His charisma and message have gained the attention of media outlets, such as Details magazine, The Huffington Post and the Associated Press. He even did an interview with Katie Couric. He posts exuberant messages to his vast (and star-studded) collection of Twitter and Instagram followers

But he puts everyone at ease with encouraging words. To me, he jokes: “You look like you belong—do you live in Brooklyn?” No, but that’s high praise coming from one of the most stylish boroughs in the city.

You can learn a lot about a person by what they value. If you spend more than five minutes with Lentz, you quickly pick up on what seem to be his four defining loves: Jesus, family, other people and basketball. One of those things will bleed into any conversation he has—and it’s usually the first.

Family Time
For Lentz, each week has time set aside for these four loves. One day a week is reserved for highly protected family time. Lentz often talks about his love for his wife, Laura. They met while attending Hillsong Leadership College outside of Sydney, Australia.

Hillsong NYC doesn’t believe women belong in the background at church.

“Laura’s voice is just as strong as mine, and that’s cool for a lot of women to see that,” Lentz says.

The couple has three children: Ava Angel (9), Charlie (7) and Roman (4). Raising three kids in New York City makes family conversations lively and interesting. Lentz will often sit down with the girls after school and ask: “How was your day? What did you hear? How are you feeling? What did you learn?” It’s his single favorite pastime, he says: sitting with them and listening to their interpretations of life.

It’s one of Lentz’s more endearing traits: his refusal to put his family in his career’s backseat.

“Balance is a funny word,” he says. “I don’t want to do it all at the same time. My calling is not to Hillsong NYC, my calling is to serve Jesus and be a good husband and a father. If I do that right, the church ends up being fine.

“On Sundays, there are church services and children priorities—both important in this season of life. Only one is urgent.”

Celebrity Spottings

The day I visit Lentz is staff day, where he “keeps the pulse of the church” by meeting with key leaders in the church’s apartment-turned-office. He sits on the couch facing a circle of 20-plus staff members—only eight of them on payroll—and guides the meeting along jovially.

The CNN cameras don’t change the atmosphere much. I pass The Carrie Diaries’ AnnaSophia Robb in the hallway talking with some other staffers. She’s an involved member at Hillsong NYC.

Movie stars and famous athletes are regular attendees at Hillsong NYC, and while that’s become a popular talking point among media outlets, Lentz gets defensive when discussing his celebrity friends. He hates to be called a celebrity pastor. “Who’s a celebrity? Who’s not? Why does it matter to you?” he asks. “We believe everybody should be celebrated.”

Since New York City draws celebrities and the spotlight, it’s not surprising that many celebrities need a place to call their church home without being treated differently. One of Lentz’s best friends is NBA star Kevin Durant. Tyson Chandler, Jeremy Lin, Vanessa Hudgens and Scooter Braun (Justin Bieber’s manager) are regular attendees, as well.

As for Bieber himself, his friendship with Lentz has been well-documented. Pastor Judah Smith, Bieber’s pastor, is one of Lentz’s best friends, and Lentz says that he has been able to be a friend to Smith by being a friend to Bieber.

“I talk to him every week,” he says. “Justin is a friend of mine, and I love him. Ailments, wounds and all. Just like my friends love me.”

Of this friend in particular, Lentz is deeply protective.

“To the critic of Justin Bieber, I would say ‘Let’s follow you around for a day, shine a light on your soul ... Matter of fact, let’s go back to when you were 18, 19. How were you living?’” he asks.
His Testimony

There was a time when Lentz probably wouldn’t have wanted someone examining his life.

He was raised in Virginia Beach, Va., taught to know Jesus personally, beyond simply religious rituals, by his deeply religious parents. He sums up his story in a simple phrase: “When someone has been given much, much will be required in return.”

But in high school, while attending the First Baptist Church of Norfolk, he began to feel disconnected. Like many teenagers, he attempted to “do his own thing,” while church became optional.

But, “I always knew there was something better than that,” he says.

Around his sophomore year at NC State, Lentz realized that he was missing some part of the goodness of God. He rededicated his life to Christ and felt God telling him to leave NC State. “What’s it worth it if I go to NC State, play basketball, and lose my soul?” he recalls.

Back in Virginia, he dove into church work and studying the Bible afresh. At age 20, he crossed the country to The King’s University Seminary in Los Angeles, Calif., eventually moving to Sydney’s Hillsong Leadership College.

Lentz met Laura at the college and the couple returned to Virginia Beach, Va., where they taught at Wave Church. His friend (and current co-pastor) Hillsong United’s Joel Houston, approached him one day and suggested that they start a Hillsong church in New York City.

(A-)typical Sunday

Loving people is Lentz’s heartbeat. He preaches both from the pulpit (figuratively—there is rarely a physical pulpit in sight) and to those around him that Jesus said the most important thing in life is to love God and love your neighbor.

“We get lost in other things all the time. To me, following Jesus isn’t easy, but it’s simple,” he says. However, love doesn’t mean just letting things go, he says, it means discerning whether to open your mouth or shut your mouth, open your door to another person or shut your door.

This message is what seems to draw thousands.

One New Yorker who had been attending Hillsong NYC for two and a half years says she chose the church because she was able to get involved quickly and because she loves Lentz.

“He’s humble and passionate,” she says.

He’s able to maintain his zealousness for over 12 hours at the five different services on a Sunday, either leading services or preaching.

Last March, Hillsong NYC celebrated their third year in the city. In that time, the church has outgrown their famed “church in a club” venue at Irving Plaza, and moved uptown.

The new venue hardly affects the expected environment. As a music video plays in the Manhattan Center ballroom, the room darkens and the techno pop music soars. Visitors snap pictures, and a miniature mosh pit forms at the front of the room. A burst of confetti shoots into the audience and the worship team comes onto the stage, with an informal choir energetically dancing and singing upstage: “Dance the night away/We have found our place/In the Savior’s grace/ Dance the night away/Your light is taking over me.”

During the mid-service meet-and-greet, ushers pass around cups of water and gummy bears. Lentz dishes out a lot of memorable one-liners: “You don’t even have to believe what we believe here to belong here,” he says.

If his goal is to make the many visitors feel welcome and intrigued—and shocked out of their stereotypes of Christianity—he accomplishes it.

Although energy and passion pour out of any Hillsong NYC event, not all have a concert feel. Lentz’s favorite meeting is the Exchange Bible Study. In an old Lutheran church building, Lentz perches on a stool up front and leads a Q&A for over an hour.

With thousands of new believers to equip, the leadership staff has their work cut out for them. At the Exchange, a simple acoustic set leads into an evening of teaching. “It’s very, very unspectacular,” Lentz says.

Hard Days

It’s hard to believe that there are any unspectacular days at Hillsong NYC, which caters to a city that never sleeps. But there are hard days.

In the beginning of starting Hillsong NYC, Lentz preached at seven services in one day, the last one ending at 11:30 p.m.

“When you think about going on an extended camping trip and you hate camping, you know it’s time to slow down,” he says. Quickly, the church raised up a strong team, and now Lentz rarely speaks more than three consecutive Sundays.

When a movement explodes like Hillsong NYC has, the city takes notice. And when New York takes notice, the world takes notice. Although this opens up ministry opportunities, it also subjects Lentz to criticism from all sides.

“My biggest challenge is to remain compassionate but have thicker skin, because I have a desire to be understood,” he says.

Although many Christians judge his unorthodox tactics, Lentz restrains himself from rationalizing his choices because the Gospel itself is unexplainable.

“My prayer is that I remain compassionate and receptive to the need, but I don’t let things waver my own faith and convictions,” he says.

As a Christian, he knows he has chosen to be an ambassador—a “moving commercial” as he calls it. As a teacher, he knows he is called to an even higher standard: “The Bible says this is my job: to be under the microscope. I feel like I was born for it. Just like we all are.”

A famous church was never part of the plan. Lentz’s goal is to have a faithful community of believers.

“Faithfulness sometimes is in the shadows. Sometimes it’s in the spotlight. We don’t have control over the spotlight part of it, but we have control over our job, which is to be faithful to what is at hand,” he says.

For Lentz, faithfulness also requires him to reach out. Occasionally, he will visit clubs (with discernment, he’s quick to clarify) for a few short minutes to be part of his friends’ lives. He feels that if Christians can invite their friends to church, they cannot be opposed to being a part of other someone else’s world, as well.
“I go to some places not to ‘reach out to people,’” he says, “I go because that’s what you do when you are friends with people.”

In New York City, isn’t it hard to find the line? Is there a line? Lentz says Christians who might be susceptible to certain temptations should not place themselves in a vulnerable position.

“This has to be conviction from heaven, not rules from this religious earth,” he says. And everyone’s line is different.

He says his priority is to stay consumed with the Great Commission.

“That is my weight, that is my focus, that is my passion,” he says. “The Gospel rules are to wear Jesus wherever you go. That’s our call. That’s not a burden to me, it’s a joy.”

:: Where to next? ::

"Life is a book, and those who don't travel read only one page."

St. Augustine

:: Transition ::

You can't go around grief, or under it, or over it. You must go through it.

:: When LOVE didn't give up ::

:: Key to Valindation (Pt. 2) ::

"When you are trying to solve a conflict with someone the goal is not to be right but to be heard. You will seldom solve a conflict if you need to be right in order to be together. If think people only value you if they agree with you, than you will feel the pressure to convince them of your perspective because your identity is tied to your opinion."

Kris Vallotton

:: Key to Validation ::

:: Staying you ::

ps. because who you are is so much better. x

:: LOVE always wins ::

"The law of Christ is love. If all things are done in love, then they are always handled properly."

Joyce Meyer

:: Trust in the dark ::

:: Transformation within ::

Zig Ziglar

:: "Song for mama" by Boys II Men ::

to the queen of my heart. love you from the moon and back. xxx

:: Fresh need, Fresh grace ::

"Every fresh need in your life is met with a fresh wave of God's grace."
Joesph Prince

:: "17 Life Lessons Oprah Learned From Doing “Master Class” by Jarett Wieselman ::

“You’re not meant to do what is easy. You’re meant to challenge yourself.”
Justin Timberlake

“Love when you really don’t even feel like it. It’s not about your mood and how you feel, it’s about the commitment to love.”
Lenny Kravitz

“Anytime that you think you’ve hit the top of the mountain, the truth of the matter is you’ve just reached another mountain, and it’s there to climb over again.”
Jon Bon Jovi

"Knowing who you are, that’s the foundation of everything great.”
Jay Z

“Here’s the truth — I know this for sure — we are not defined by the challenges in our lives, but how we face them.”
Stevie Nicks

“Many decades it took me to learn to not be afraid of saying how I feel, and to allow my vulnerabilities to show — we are not meant to be perfect, we’re meant to be whole.”
Jane Fonda

“Don’t be afraid to do something unconventional, to take a chance, to risk something.”
Tom Brokaw

“Just wake up curious.”
Diane Sawyer

"Follow your own muse. Always."
Morgan Freeman

"If you treat people with dignity, respect, and friendliness, you can turn enemies into friends and the enemy is nothing but a friend in disguise.”
Ted Turner

“Be as authentic in your life as you can. And as truthful as you can.”
Susan Sarandon

“The beauty of getting older is the surprise of what else you can do to make the world a better place with the wisdom that you’ve accrued over those years.”
Goldie Hawn

“Follow it [your light] and know it’s going to lead you where you’re meant to go.”
Alicia Keys

“Nobody can make you extremely happy but you.”
Dihann Carroll

“You constantly want to push yourself and challenge yourself. And through competition … you’re discovering more about yourself.”
Grant Hill

“There’s a lot of power in putting it out in the universe. It’s telling your subconscious mind, ‘This is what’s gonna happen.’”
Reba McEntire

“My grandmother told me, ‘When you get, give. When you learn, teach.’ These are lessons to live by.”
Maya Angelou

:: "Love Isn’t All You Need: The Importance Of Trust In Relationships." by Samantha Bun ::

The world of relationships is fun and exciting until you get into your first fight, when all of your previous doubts and insecurities will flourish to the surface.

At this point, you’ll realize the person you were dating is not the image of perfection that you internalized when everything was all lovey-dovey. Once the honeymoon phase is over, you either learn to the love the person or simply hate him or her.

One phrase I commonly hear is, “I just can’t trust [insert: girls, chicks, boys, men, people…]”

I get it; we have all experienced disappointment or had someone break a silent, sacred pact of trust. But, is it fair to drag that into your next relationship, with someone who really just wants to get to know you?

While you may think you’re entering a fresh, brand-spanking-new relationship, really, you carry so much excess baggage from previous relationships and childhood traumas.

People put up barriers to protect their fragile hearts, which have most likely been broken before and take a long time to break down for new people. They nitpick on little habits or become suspicious about small things, like specific text messages.

It is okay to be cautious; we all want to protect ourselves from getting hurt, but sometimes, people make rash judgments and stir arguments as a result, which only pushes the other person further away.

It’s funny how we do this when we truly just want to be loved.

I know that at times, it can be really difficult to let people into your world, especially when you have been burned before. However, it’s not a nice feeling for the person who genuinely wants to get to know you and love you. This becomes quite difficult when you barricade your heart so that the wall you’ve put up is nearly impenetrable.

I am a very open person and would love to be with someone who is as well. I don’t want this person to share every little detail of his life with me if it feels uncomfortable, but he should also not be so concealed that it feels secretive and I feel totally shut out.

I want to date someone who can welcome me into his life and treat me as a person without preconceptions of what men or women are supposed to be “like.”

I hate feeling guilty before doing something wrong, and often, this is how I feel with people who have intense trust issues. They force me to question what I did wrong when, really, I hadn’t done anything wrong at all. It is incredibly frustrating and causes unnecessary drama.

The thing with people who have trust issues is their need to feed their egos and say, “See, I was right!” They will obsess and fuss until their suspicions are confirmed and more often than not (if they do get proved right), it is because their insecurities pushed the other person away.

When I enter a relationship, I only make my judgments based on my experience with the particular individual because it is unfair to attach my messed up past to that person. This, and I have faith in that there are good people in the world who aren’t out to get me.

Besides, how can you build any relationship without the foundation of trust?

So, knock down those walls and learn to let people in. They aren’t so bad. Honesty is the best policy, right? And if they do manage to hurt you, don’t let that prove your theory right.

If that person breaks your trust, then you can make your next decision accordingly. If he or she screws up again, maybe the person is just all wrong for you and simply, you must move on alone.

:: Push to start ::

"Stop wishing. Start doing."

:: Breaking out ::

"It's time to breakout of your shell and show the world who you really are and what you are really made of! LIVE YOUR DREAMS!"

:: Being There ::

"A friend helps you move forward through your disappointment into God's promises. The best way to find a friend like this is to be one for someone else!"

Christine Caine

:: Quality Time ::

:: "No, you're not falling behind in life" by Ann Swindell ::

A quick perusal of social media is all it takes.

One friend just got married. Another is celebrating some big accomplishment at work. Another started a nonprofit in a third world country.

If you’re like me, you may deal with the nagging feeling that you’re behind the eight ball in life.

I just turned 30 this year, and I often feel like a slow turtle while everyone else is racing ahead in their careers, their families and their personal lives.

It doesn’t help that media is constantly reminding us of people who have hit it big young—Mark Zuckerberg isn’t even 30 yet, and Steve Nash is the oldest man in the NBA—at the ripe old age of 40. Panic can start to set in when we realize we’re just trying to figure out how to pay the rent while others our age are figuring out how to change the world. Never mind those who are half our age and are creating breakthrough cancer-screening tests .

But here are a few reasons that you’re not falling behind in life, even if you aren’t married, don’t have 2.5 kids, and didn’t create an entire organization that is helping to end world hunger in your twenties.

Fast Doesn’t Always Mean Better.

From relationships to skill sets, it takes a while to figure things out. None of us want a brain surgeon who rushed through medical school or skipped some classes. We expect doctors to spend roughly 10 years in upper-level education before we let them cut us open or even look in our ears. We assume our college professors spent nearly as much time in the library or the lab becoming experts in their respective fields. You may not have a Ph.D. or an M.D., but it can take a long time to become excellent in anything. You might not actually be behind; you might be becoming proficient.

Solid Relationships Take Lots of Time.

Most of us don’t want to be standing at the altar making promises to someone we barely know. Meaningful relationships—romantic or platonic—require intentional, invested time to build. The history that you have with your best friend matters—because that history over months and years has helped create trust, a foundational element in close relationships.

One of the most important things we can learn on this earth is how to love others well, so wherever you are in relationships, maybe you’re not behind. Maybe you’re learning how to love the ones in front of you well.

You Don’t Have to be Young to Make a Difference.

Unfortunately, American culture seeks after the fountain of youth and has idolized the teenage and young adult years in the process. Once our skin starts to wrinkle and our responsibilities increase, there’s an underlying insinuation that we become less able to change the world.

But lest we think all the world-changers are young, just remember when Nelson Mandela became the president of South Africa (age 75) or when Mother Teresa was recognized for her work among the poor (although she served for years, she did not receive the Nobel Peace Prize until age 69). You might work a long time at something you love before anyone else notices—or until change really starts happening. That doesn’t mean you’re behind. It means you’re faithful.

Staying in Step With Christ Means We Are Never Behind.

Ultimately, we are not “behind” in life if we are where Jesus has called us to be. Next to Jesus—with Him—is the exact place we are supposed to be. If His pace with us is slower than it is with our friends, it is not our responsibility to try to catch up to them. Our responsibility is to stay next to Christ.

When we compare ourselves to others, it’s easy to worry that we are missing out on the life that we see them living. The apostle Peter seemed to be headed down this path. At the end of the book of John, Peter asks Jesus about what was going to happen in John’s life. Jesus’ response? “If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow me!” (John 21:22).

When we find ourselves comparing ourselves to others, we can remember the words of Jesus—“You follow me!” Jesus has us where He has us because He loves us. We’re not behind if we’re with Jesus. We’re right where we need to be.

:: Now & Here ::

"Whatever season you find yourself, be fully present."

Christine Caine

:: Blessings & Lessons (Pt. 2) ::

i thank Grace for both blessings and lessons in my life. because they have given me one heaven of an impact that dramitcally changed my views and character forever. now the wall has fallen with debris everywhere... but, it is only the beginning for what one has not seen nor heard.

- rising up, and coming to life. xxx

:: LOVE from within ::

"If we don't have love in us, we can't give it to somebody else."

Joyce Meyer

:: More in front ::

"Let go of what was and have faith‬ in what will be! God has more for you than what was behind you!"

Paula White

:: Restored & Revived ::

:: Keep on trying ::

"If at first you don't succeed..."

Rapunzel

:: Witty Wednesdays ::

:: LOVE for all ::

:: Blessings & Lessons ::

:: "He's her lobster!" by Friends ::

:: "#CokeDrones" by Coca-Cola Singapore & Singapore Kindness Movement ::

:: #Bringbackoutgirls ::

To:
World Leaders and International Organizations

By signing this petition we declare our solidarity with the kidnapped girls and call upon the world not to forget them, support all efforts to ensure their safe return, and ask that all schools are safe places to learn, protected from attack.

Sincerely,
Elizabeth

Please click here for change xxx

:: W a i t i n g ::

:: "Weakness or strength (Pt. III) - Strength is for service, not status" by Esther Houston ::

There is one small thing in life I think is crucial for us all to understand: it is NOT about us. It is not about YOU. Yea, I said it! It isn't. It doesn't start with you, it doesn't end with you. You are, just like I am, nothing but a little speck of magic dust in the universe.

By that I don't mean that you are not of huge importance and significance, because you are; but I do mean that if you spend your life living empty and aimlessly, you can fail to leave behind a legacy you are proud of. Thankfully, with every new day, a new opportunity to turn that around comes our way.

Here is part III for my weakness and strength post. My third realization:

It was never about me to begin with.

Of course when we do something, big or small, we intend to be successful at it. I've never met a person who didn't want to succeed. What makes all the difference though, is whether or not you are able to understand what 'success' actually means in that particular thing you are doing and in life as a whole. I don't think people stop and think long enough to actually answer those very important questions: What is success in what you are doing? What is success in life? Because success doesn't necessarily mean "did you make good money, do you have a good career or did you get good grades"; success means: did you accomplish what you wanted to accomplish. Are you fulfilling your purpose here? You- little speck of magic dust you- are you "successful"?

Here are two very important factors (that are not as obvious as they should be) in being successful:

Don't be Selfish.

For some reason we are born with this idea that its all about us. It all revolves around us. We don't like to share.. try taking a toy from a 2 year old.. or try to get a teenager to share his brand new bike with his brother... Or try to take the control remote from a grown man after he gets home from work... IMPOSSIBLE! We just don't like to share. Sharing is something that we learn to do, that we need to force ourselves to remember to do. It is not our natural instinct per se.

Just like serving. If you look at it practically, if you keep it all to yourself, you have more. If people serve you and not the other way around, you are "above". So why is that not true?

From life experience, I've come to notice that those who share and serve the most are most successful and happiest. Note I put success with happiness because TRUE success brings TRUE happiness. That, to me, exposes another misconception of modern society. We are taught that money, fame, power = success. So that should mean that they are all happy, right? Wrong. I can tell you I have seen more unhappiness in the rich, famous, and powerful than I'd know what to do with.
If you are defined by your success, and your definition of success is "more", you will NEVER be happy. Because More, by definition, is never enough.

Serve others.

Strength is supposed to be used for service, not status. When we recognize we are blessed and that we are strong, there are two natural responses to that- either pride or gratitude. Unfortunately, the most common one is pride. Fortunately, the most beautiful and liberating one is gratitude.

Once you realize the simplicity of this truth and actually strive to make that your reality, you will notice how your world expands. When you do things for others, you become part of something bigger than yourself. My life motto is "Love all, serve all". Its not an easy motto, but its a recipe for success.

Success equals joy. Loving and serving equals joy. Therefore, loving and serving equal success.

I asked my friend Carl Lentz to give me a couple of thoughts on joy vs happiness, and this is what he said.

"Happiness is fleeting and it's feeling based.. Joy can be CONSTANT and is CONVICTION based... Our world will do anything to be "happy"!!! Drugs and money can actually do that.. But joy is so much deeper and can only be found through choosing to serve others... Over time, yes, happiness is present! But it's not our AIM... Few people even know what joy is!!! It doesn't sing as good as Pharrell's "happy" but it keeps you much more grounded and impacting.. Your whole site is really about serving others= JOY... Truth is, serving others can feel terrible. Letting other people in front? Promoting them? Watching people you are not fond of, win? Sometimes it sucks!!! But it's RIGHT.. And joy comes out of it... Joy= internally controlled.. My world... Happiness= externally controlled..your world! You can make me unhappy. But you can't steal my joy!!

Joy... Now that, to me, is the right idea of success.

:: LOVE has no excuses ::