it's the final day of my birthday month. after a belated celebration with the people closest to my heart, it had me thinking about life and it's purpose. it does not always come in a perfect form, and that i why it homes grace perfectly to grow and flourish in.
closing to the thirty mark, i'd heaps to think about. these deep thoughts were roaming wild in my heart during the solo moments of exploring the glorious soil of an exciting city. it's vibrance and blessed experience still lingers in my body.
with this currently season, i question it's existence, changes and challenges. all in which is inevitable but can't some be at least be favourable? surrounded with options of possible open doors yet my heart is not moved one bit screams one statement, "is this really it?"
you find yourself also not responding in your usual form and reacting in ways you would probably never have gone there. guess those were lessons learnt, and hard ones too. have never felt this strange feeling of something crazily missing. can't quite put my finger on it, but have a inkling of what it could be. oh wells.
i have finally surrendered and say, i can't do this anymore. having lose control and overwhelmed, there is nothing left to do but let go of every flesh and pride i have been too accustomed to. have seen the ugly and will not want it's visuals popping up ever again.
what now? i do not have a clue. also another feeling that i have not ever come across with. perhaps this trust without borders occurrence is coming to a reality. first time in my entire life of not knowing where to go, serve, work, live and love.
going to have to let Your light lead and grace me on this one. else, who will? xxx
No comments:
Post a Comment