"Some of you today have had unfair things happen, life has not turned out like you’d hoped. God is saying, “If you’ll rise up out of those ashes, put on a new attitude, I’ll not only bring you out but I’ll bring you out with twice what you had before.”
--- J. Osteen ---
Monday, September 30, 2013
{ Double for your trouble }
{ Repost: The Golden Boy - Geoff Bullock }
As the former worship leader at Hills Christian Centre, Australia, Geoff Bullock became a household name in Christian homes throughout Australasia.
New Zealand Christians love to sing Geoff's songs. He has three New Zealand gold discs to prove it. Songs like The Power of Your Love, The Heavens Shall Declare, Have Faith in God, You Rescued Me are all firm favourites in our churches. But while Geoff may have known the joys of stardom he has also come face to face with the depths of man's sinful nature and, concurrently, with the grace of God.
It is 6 o'clock at the Lower Hutt Town Hall. In one and a half hours Geoff Bullock will be on stage and already the crowds are gathering at the doors. Some have been waiting since 5 o'clock.
As I enter, the sound of a male voice accompanied by a Roland keyboard reverberates around the empty hall. In the distance a lone man, short of stature, with greying hair, stands on stage behind the Roland and a standing mike, making a tiny island in the middle of an otherwise deserted expanse of blackness. Who is he, I wonder - perhaps a sound technician? It is several minutes before it dawns on me that this small man is the legendary Geoff Bullock whom I have come to interview.
Geoff Bullock is no longer the super-hero of Australasian Christian worship. He is, by his own description, a man who has a profound sense of his own brokenness. "Let's face it," says Geoff, "when you think of the name Geoff Bullock you think of two things. One is a headline - and the other thing has to be grace. And grace, the grace of God, is why I am here."
For many New Zealand Christians 'the headline' is a mystery.
"What happened to Geoff Bullock?"
"He left Hills Christian Centre didn't he? I don't know why. Do you?"
"I would love the facts to be made known to the churches," says Geoff, "so people know how it was. My biggest fear is that people will think 'Oh, he's just stuffed it all under the carpet'."
However Geoff is also at pains to protect the others involved. Several times during the interview and our discussions after it he would request that details not be spelled out: "I need to protect the many others who have been drawn into this sad time and not to presume to talk on their behalf."
Leaving Hills
"I left Hills purely because I came to the unshakeable conclusion that God was saying to me 'Go!'. There was, and still is, no agenda in me leaving, contrary to what people may say who knew me at the time, or have presumed to speak on my behalf.
"When I decided to leave it was just because God said 'It's time to go' and so I followed my conscience and left. If I couldn't do that then how could I continue to minister, let alone live with my conscience?
"Of course there were difficulties, but we always endeavoured to work through them, we journeyed through them together. I would constantly pray through issues when they would arise, and God would always say 'Don't change the circumstances, change your reactions'. And so I would try to change my reactions.
"The best way I can describe it is this: if I joined the Labour Party in Australia, and rose to the position of cabinet minister, there would be a whole series of things that the Party would decide en masse to do and I would have to play my role in the Party. Now if I was struggling in myself and feeling this deep sense of failure, that would be a constant problem.
"And that is what it was like. I just always thought I was failing. There was this longstanding frustration that I could never be the person that I felt that people needed me to be, that I needed me to be in that place.
"People have said that Hillsong 95 was my highest moment - the heights from which I fell. Yet if someone asked me what was the worst experience of my whole ministry career it would be Hillsong 95, because I felt so out of my depth.
"I kept thinking, 'I don't know what I'm doing here, I'm unable to be the person that I need to be'. I just can't be Mr Charisma and Mr Excited. That's not me. I'm a quiet, introspective, melancholic type of guy. I struggled throughout the week trying to lead the worship, but feeling very much that I was failing. I really fell apart emotionally within a month of the conference ending.
"My face was on all the posters, I was writing songs which everyone was singing, but inside I was asking myself 'Why am I always struggling? Why can't I just rise up in faith and be the man of God that everybody else says I should be, that this movement says I should be?'"
Losing His Marriage
Geoff's marriage was terminally damaged before he left Hills.
"It was over before I knew it. I was just too busy to even notice what was happening. People say, 'Weren't there signs?' Of course there were signs. But we just thought OK, we'll just have to work harder - serve God harder - we'll do more for God and he will bless us.
"We separated within weeks of leaving Hills. It was a very hard time and it got worse as the months went on. I had to face the fact of my failure as a husband and a father.
"Suddenly, although it was very important to others, leaving Hills was not very important to me. It was not the main issue. The greatest tragedy was the consequences that years of poor stewardship and a woeful lack of priorities had visited on all of us.
"After about ten months I fell in love with somebody I'd known a long time. I was so despondent, and disappointed with the way everything had gone, that basically, when I hit a rock in the middle of a raging stream I held on to it. And it just . . . it happened. There are no excuses.
"We broke many lives, we disappointed many friends, we hurt many people. As the dust cleared, we realised that we couldn't go back and 'fix' what was broken. All we could do was slowly work through all the consequences. We still do. We always will."
Leaving His Reputation
After this Geoff's sense of brokenness was overwhelming. Within days he cancelled all his ministry engagements, resigned his credentials as an Assembly of God minister, wrote to the Christian book stores who sold his product and to 8,000 churches - telling them of his situation.
"I had got to the point where even my integrity had deserted me. At that point I had no desire to continue in ministry because I had disqualified myself, and I didn't need anyone else to tell me that. I just had to find a way of stopping all my engagements and then getting the news out as best I could without uncovering everybody's story. We hoped that then we could deal with all the consequences privately. The trouble is it didn't happen that way."
Finding Grace
That was two and a half years ago. Today Geoff is married to his old friend and is returning rather reluctantly to public life.
"I can't shake the impression that God has pushed us back into the spotlight so people can see his grace, not just the fall of one man. The reason we are here is not to vindicate ourselves. We are only vindicated by the blood of Jesus. Our sin is as great as any others, and our righteousness is, and always has been, as great as Christ's could possibly be.
"Our story is the story of redemption - a very public example of it. And as painful as it has been, our mourning has finished, a time for rejoicing has come. The restoration that God has done in our lives - in each other's love, and in his love - is overwhelming.
"We're here simply to talk about the grace of God. I didn't want to come back into ministry. I thought I was finished, I wanted it to be over, but God has a job for us to do."
Living in Brokenness
Brokenness is something we run from. Yet its work in us is very valuable. Does Geoff still carry the sense of brokenness? Is the change in him permanent?
"Absolutely permanent. The challenge every day is to have faith in God's grace. It's harder than any 'Faith' doctrine I have ever adhered to. I value it more highly than I ever desired gifts and miracles which obviously, as part of that movement, I longed and prayed for. This faith journey of grace is the only one I know now."
The Bible tells us to confess our sins to one another, to live openly before each other in our weakness. Isn't this what true Christianity is about, understanding our own sinfulness and glorying in God's grace?
"Yes, that's exactly what it is about, but we don't do it. We refuse to admit our sin to one another. Instead we tell each other about everyone else's sins and we keep ours a secret."
So when disaster strikes and we are forced to realise our own sinfulness, and accept it, we are able to be Christian in a way that we can't be if we are 'heros' and doing everything perfectly.
"You hit the nail on the head. When we accept that we are sinful we can then accept others.
"You see, that was me. I was the 'hero' if you like. I was the 'poster boy' who stood behind the microphone and played the piano.
"But it wasn't me. I knew who I was. I knew God knew who I was. I was always disappointed that I could never rise to the standards that I so desperately wanted to attain, and I was just waiting for someone to unveil the hoax.
"I kept thinking 'I'm not this person, why is this happening?'. I remember in my dark times, wondering 'Is this some kind of cosmic joke? There's this person out there who's empty inside, he's just a little shell. He looks like he is such a success and yet he feels such a failure. He's a puppet out there, a performer, singing and dancing, but inside there's nothing and eventually it's going to self destruct.' And it did.
"I never let the real person be there, because he wouldn't have been accepted. I couldn't accept him.
"The world likes stars because it's easier to measure success by works than to measure acceptance by grace. When grace is given for absolutely no reason other than unmerited love, then we can't feel worthy in ourselves. We need works to measure ourselves by, to make us feel accepted.
"We much prefer to have a ladder to climb because then we can look where we're going, and see where we've been. We can have some sense of power over the people underneath us, and we can play games with the people above us. That's mankind."
But that's not the model we want in the church.
"No. It's not the gospel. But the gospel and organisational Christianity - the administrative side of Christianity - have an uneasy marriage at times. It's easy to say let's build a church out of good services, good praise and worship, good preaching, an 'if you do this, God will do that' philosophy. Then all we have to do is show you what we've got in God and say, 'You do this and become like us'. It's easy to advertise that - it's successful, it's attractive.
"People want to be part of the winning team. It's easy to say, 'Come to our church. We have great lights and great music.' I used to say that. But I never said, 'Listen. Come and meet the people who know what pain is like, and what brokenness is like. Come to meet people who are going to make you feel at home with your failure, because they're not pretending to be anybody. And come and meet Jesus, the person who gives us the ability to keep starting again and not feel so despairing that we give up.'"
Excellence and Worship
So where does the emphasis on 'excellence' fit in to all of this?
"The problem is, we have combined art and worship and made it the one thing. People think that what I do is worship, but what I do is an art. I'm an artist. I am also a worshipper, because I respond to Jesus in the panorama of my life - and part of my response is that I write worship songs, but that is my art.
"Now we can have excellent art, because art is communication, and the best art is when you paint such a clear picture that people see beyond your words - the vessels of your communication - and actually see what you were looking at. That's especially important for us if we're trying to show them Jesus.
"So if you want to have a Christian arts group and do performances - seek excellence. But if you want to talk about worship, then you've got to come back to brokenness and the good news and the bad news.
"The news about God is better than we could have ever dreamed, and the news about man is worse than we ever allow ourselves to realise. The only thing we have is grace, and grace is available for us all.
"When we understand that, then worship is our response. The good news is too good to be true. It's like winning the lottery when you didn't even buy a ticket. Our worship should be a response to that."
Brokenness and Healing
"The Church needs to be sharing this message of the bad news and the good news with the world - the message of brokenness and healing.
"The world is locked into Amway, or politics, or office politics, or keeping up with the Joneses. Everybody's trying to get out of a Mazda and into a Honda, and then out of a Honda and into a Lexus. Is the Church just showing them another way of doing it? Have we lost the plot? Are we in such a hurry to proclaim what we do for God that we have hidden what he has done for us?
"The only thing we have to offer the world is grace. At the moment we're in danger of offering them works and a show. Good works and a good show, certainly, but if you want to show them Christ, good works and a good show is not going to do it. In the end to see Christ in me you've got to see the brokenness.
"In my brokenness Jesus met with me. It wasn't so much me walking with him, but rather him walking with me. I didn't hold him, he held on to me. I wasn't faithful, he was faithful. I had nothing to offer, he had everything to offer.
"I remember saying, 'God I'm so sorry', and always he would say, 'It's OK'. And there were times I really felt I heard God's voice terribly clearly. 'It's OK Geoff, I understand'. And he wasn't condoning, he was accepting. And he'd say, 'Trust me'. That's all he'd say. For weeks he'd say, 'It's OK Geoff. I know, I understand. Trust me'.
"And it's still like that now. I still say the same thing: 'I'm so sorry'. And he still reassures me."
One Hero
"What I really want to say to people is: can we please stop looking at each other. Can we just have one hero and a whole lot of villains. We're all the villains, the cross shows us that. Can Christ be the only hero? And can we never ever think that we'll leave that role of villain behind?
"The wonderful thing was when I suddenly realised that as far as my righteousness was concerned, nothing had changed. I had just started to feel guilty about the fact that I was a sinner.
"At last I was realising who I really was. And I had no nice comfortable middle class job to make me feel good about myself. So now I could really deal with sin, and what it feels like to be a sinner.
"When I look at the righteousness of God from that viewpoint - and realise that he imputes that righteousness to us - it is overwhelming.
"This is what Christianity is about, and yet we keep it a secret. Why? Why don't those we treat as outcasts, those whose sins we just can't stomach, know what the gospel is really about?
"Whenever they hear about Christianity they think of placards, and people who ask God to rain on their parade. But what's the difference between any man's sin and mine? Nothing. If we could understand that, boy oh boy wouldn't church be a healing place!"
Being Honest about Unrighteousness
"If we were so honest about our unrighteousness that when we saw someone suffering feelings of shame and pain we didn't judge them, but we had a great sense of compassion for them, because we knew how they felt - the same damning guilt and shame and abhorrence that we feel - wouldn't it make a difference?
"Honesty is a wonderful thing. When we admit that we are wrong, when we recognise that we have nothing to lose - nothing to protect - then we have everything to gain. And we gain it by journeying toward the truth. I am trying to learn this, I am not brilliant at it, but I have made a start. The grace of God compels us to make a start.
"People say I fell from grace. I didn't fall from grace, I fell into it. If you try and prove yourself and make yourself noteworthy by works, eventually your works will led you to exactly where mine led me. Works will always fail you. The end of the law is death. But with grace you never stop finding deeper water. It just keeps getting more wondrous."
New Zealand Christians love to sing Geoff's songs. He has three New Zealand gold discs to prove it. Songs like The Power of Your Love, The Heavens Shall Declare, Have Faith in God, You Rescued Me are all firm favourites in our churches. But while Geoff may have known the joys of stardom he has also come face to face with the depths of man's sinful nature and, concurrently, with the grace of God.
It is 6 o'clock at the Lower Hutt Town Hall. In one and a half hours Geoff Bullock will be on stage and already the crowds are gathering at the doors. Some have been waiting since 5 o'clock.
As I enter, the sound of a male voice accompanied by a Roland keyboard reverberates around the empty hall. In the distance a lone man, short of stature, with greying hair, stands on stage behind the Roland and a standing mike, making a tiny island in the middle of an otherwise deserted expanse of blackness. Who is he, I wonder - perhaps a sound technician? It is several minutes before it dawns on me that this small man is the legendary Geoff Bullock whom I have come to interview.
Geoff Bullock is no longer the super-hero of Australasian Christian worship. He is, by his own description, a man who has a profound sense of his own brokenness. "Let's face it," says Geoff, "when you think of the name Geoff Bullock you think of two things. One is a headline - and the other thing has to be grace. And grace, the grace of God, is why I am here."
For many New Zealand Christians 'the headline' is a mystery.
"What happened to Geoff Bullock?"
"He left Hills Christian Centre didn't he? I don't know why. Do you?"
"I would love the facts to be made known to the churches," says Geoff, "so people know how it was. My biggest fear is that people will think 'Oh, he's just stuffed it all under the carpet'."
However Geoff is also at pains to protect the others involved. Several times during the interview and our discussions after it he would request that details not be spelled out: "I need to protect the many others who have been drawn into this sad time and not to presume to talk on their behalf."
Leaving Hills
"I left Hills purely because I came to the unshakeable conclusion that God was saying to me 'Go!'. There was, and still is, no agenda in me leaving, contrary to what people may say who knew me at the time, or have presumed to speak on my behalf.
"When I decided to leave it was just because God said 'It's time to go' and so I followed my conscience and left. If I couldn't do that then how could I continue to minister, let alone live with my conscience?
"Of course there were difficulties, but we always endeavoured to work through them, we journeyed through them together. I would constantly pray through issues when they would arise, and God would always say 'Don't change the circumstances, change your reactions'. And so I would try to change my reactions.
"The best way I can describe it is this: if I joined the Labour Party in Australia, and rose to the position of cabinet minister, there would be a whole series of things that the Party would decide en masse to do and I would have to play my role in the Party. Now if I was struggling in myself and feeling this deep sense of failure, that would be a constant problem.
"And that is what it was like. I just always thought I was failing. There was this longstanding frustration that I could never be the person that I felt that people needed me to be, that I needed me to be in that place.
"People have said that Hillsong 95 was my highest moment - the heights from which I fell. Yet if someone asked me what was the worst experience of my whole ministry career it would be Hillsong 95, because I felt so out of my depth.
"I kept thinking, 'I don't know what I'm doing here, I'm unable to be the person that I need to be'. I just can't be Mr Charisma and Mr Excited. That's not me. I'm a quiet, introspective, melancholic type of guy. I struggled throughout the week trying to lead the worship, but feeling very much that I was failing. I really fell apart emotionally within a month of the conference ending.
"My face was on all the posters, I was writing songs which everyone was singing, but inside I was asking myself 'Why am I always struggling? Why can't I just rise up in faith and be the man of God that everybody else says I should be, that this movement says I should be?'"
Losing His Marriage
Geoff's marriage was terminally damaged before he left Hills.
"It was over before I knew it. I was just too busy to even notice what was happening. People say, 'Weren't there signs?' Of course there were signs. But we just thought OK, we'll just have to work harder - serve God harder - we'll do more for God and he will bless us.
"We separated within weeks of leaving Hills. It was a very hard time and it got worse as the months went on. I had to face the fact of my failure as a husband and a father.
"Suddenly, although it was very important to others, leaving Hills was not very important to me. It was not the main issue. The greatest tragedy was the consequences that years of poor stewardship and a woeful lack of priorities had visited on all of us.
"After about ten months I fell in love with somebody I'd known a long time. I was so despondent, and disappointed with the way everything had gone, that basically, when I hit a rock in the middle of a raging stream I held on to it. And it just . . . it happened. There are no excuses.
"We broke many lives, we disappointed many friends, we hurt many people. As the dust cleared, we realised that we couldn't go back and 'fix' what was broken. All we could do was slowly work through all the consequences. We still do. We always will."
Leaving His Reputation
After this Geoff's sense of brokenness was overwhelming. Within days he cancelled all his ministry engagements, resigned his credentials as an Assembly of God minister, wrote to the Christian book stores who sold his product and to 8,000 churches - telling them of his situation.
"I had got to the point where even my integrity had deserted me. At that point I had no desire to continue in ministry because I had disqualified myself, and I didn't need anyone else to tell me that. I just had to find a way of stopping all my engagements and then getting the news out as best I could without uncovering everybody's story. We hoped that then we could deal with all the consequences privately. The trouble is it didn't happen that way."
Finding Grace
That was two and a half years ago. Today Geoff is married to his old friend and is returning rather reluctantly to public life.
"I can't shake the impression that God has pushed us back into the spotlight so people can see his grace, not just the fall of one man. The reason we are here is not to vindicate ourselves. We are only vindicated by the blood of Jesus. Our sin is as great as any others, and our righteousness is, and always has been, as great as Christ's could possibly be.
"Our story is the story of redemption - a very public example of it. And as painful as it has been, our mourning has finished, a time for rejoicing has come. The restoration that God has done in our lives - in each other's love, and in his love - is overwhelming.
"We're here simply to talk about the grace of God. I didn't want to come back into ministry. I thought I was finished, I wanted it to be over, but God has a job for us to do."
Living in Brokenness
Brokenness is something we run from. Yet its work in us is very valuable. Does Geoff still carry the sense of brokenness? Is the change in him permanent?
"Absolutely permanent. The challenge every day is to have faith in God's grace. It's harder than any 'Faith' doctrine I have ever adhered to. I value it more highly than I ever desired gifts and miracles which obviously, as part of that movement, I longed and prayed for. This faith journey of grace is the only one I know now."
The Bible tells us to confess our sins to one another, to live openly before each other in our weakness. Isn't this what true Christianity is about, understanding our own sinfulness and glorying in God's grace?
"Yes, that's exactly what it is about, but we don't do it. We refuse to admit our sin to one another. Instead we tell each other about everyone else's sins and we keep ours a secret."
So when disaster strikes and we are forced to realise our own sinfulness, and accept it, we are able to be Christian in a way that we can't be if we are 'heros' and doing everything perfectly.
"You hit the nail on the head. When we accept that we are sinful we can then accept others.
"You see, that was me. I was the 'hero' if you like. I was the 'poster boy' who stood behind the microphone and played the piano.
"But it wasn't me. I knew who I was. I knew God knew who I was. I was always disappointed that I could never rise to the standards that I so desperately wanted to attain, and I was just waiting for someone to unveil the hoax.
"I kept thinking 'I'm not this person, why is this happening?'. I remember in my dark times, wondering 'Is this some kind of cosmic joke? There's this person out there who's empty inside, he's just a little shell. He looks like he is such a success and yet he feels such a failure. He's a puppet out there, a performer, singing and dancing, but inside there's nothing and eventually it's going to self destruct.' And it did.
"I never let the real person be there, because he wouldn't have been accepted. I couldn't accept him.
"The world likes stars because it's easier to measure success by works than to measure acceptance by grace. When grace is given for absolutely no reason other than unmerited love, then we can't feel worthy in ourselves. We need works to measure ourselves by, to make us feel accepted.
"We much prefer to have a ladder to climb because then we can look where we're going, and see where we've been. We can have some sense of power over the people underneath us, and we can play games with the people above us. That's mankind."
But that's not the model we want in the church.
"No. It's not the gospel. But the gospel and organisational Christianity - the administrative side of Christianity - have an uneasy marriage at times. It's easy to say let's build a church out of good services, good praise and worship, good preaching, an 'if you do this, God will do that' philosophy. Then all we have to do is show you what we've got in God and say, 'You do this and become like us'. It's easy to advertise that - it's successful, it's attractive.
"People want to be part of the winning team. It's easy to say, 'Come to our church. We have great lights and great music.' I used to say that. But I never said, 'Listen. Come and meet the people who know what pain is like, and what brokenness is like. Come to meet people who are going to make you feel at home with your failure, because they're not pretending to be anybody. And come and meet Jesus, the person who gives us the ability to keep starting again and not feel so despairing that we give up.'"
Excellence and Worship
So where does the emphasis on 'excellence' fit in to all of this?
"The problem is, we have combined art and worship and made it the one thing. People think that what I do is worship, but what I do is an art. I'm an artist. I am also a worshipper, because I respond to Jesus in the panorama of my life - and part of my response is that I write worship songs, but that is my art.
"Now we can have excellent art, because art is communication, and the best art is when you paint such a clear picture that people see beyond your words - the vessels of your communication - and actually see what you were looking at. That's especially important for us if we're trying to show them Jesus.
"So if you want to have a Christian arts group and do performances - seek excellence. But if you want to talk about worship, then you've got to come back to brokenness and the good news and the bad news.
"The news about God is better than we could have ever dreamed, and the news about man is worse than we ever allow ourselves to realise. The only thing we have is grace, and grace is available for us all.
"When we understand that, then worship is our response. The good news is too good to be true. It's like winning the lottery when you didn't even buy a ticket. Our worship should be a response to that."
Brokenness and Healing
"The Church needs to be sharing this message of the bad news and the good news with the world - the message of brokenness and healing.
"The world is locked into Amway, or politics, or office politics, or keeping up with the Joneses. Everybody's trying to get out of a Mazda and into a Honda, and then out of a Honda and into a Lexus. Is the Church just showing them another way of doing it? Have we lost the plot? Are we in such a hurry to proclaim what we do for God that we have hidden what he has done for us?
"The only thing we have to offer the world is grace. At the moment we're in danger of offering them works and a show. Good works and a good show, certainly, but if you want to show them Christ, good works and a good show is not going to do it. In the end to see Christ in me you've got to see the brokenness.
"In my brokenness Jesus met with me. It wasn't so much me walking with him, but rather him walking with me. I didn't hold him, he held on to me. I wasn't faithful, he was faithful. I had nothing to offer, he had everything to offer.
"I remember saying, 'God I'm so sorry', and always he would say, 'It's OK'. And there were times I really felt I heard God's voice terribly clearly. 'It's OK Geoff, I understand'. And he wasn't condoning, he was accepting. And he'd say, 'Trust me'. That's all he'd say. For weeks he'd say, 'It's OK Geoff. I know, I understand. Trust me'.
"And it's still like that now. I still say the same thing: 'I'm so sorry'. And he still reassures me."
One Hero
"What I really want to say to people is: can we please stop looking at each other. Can we just have one hero and a whole lot of villains. We're all the villains, the cross shows us that. Can Christ be the only hero? And can we never ever think that we'll leave that role of villain behind?
"The wonderful thing was when I suddenly realised that as far as my righteousness was concerned, nothing had changed. I had just started to feel guilty about the fact that I was a sinner.
"At last I was realising who I really was. And I had no nice comfortable middle class job to make me feel good about myself. So now I could really deal with sin, and what it feels like to be a sinner.
"When I look at the righteousness of God from that viewpoint - and realise that he imputes that righteousness to us - it is overwhelming.
"This is what Christianity is about, and yet we keep it a secret. Why? Why don't those we treat as outcasts, those whose sins we just can't stomach, know what the gospel is really about?
"Whenever they hear about Christianity they think of placards, and people who ask God to rain on their parade. But what's the difference between any man's sin and mine? Nothing. If we could understand that, boy oh boy wouldn't church be a healing place!"
Being Honest about Unrighteousness
"If we were so honest about our unrighteousness that when we saw someone suffering feelings of shame and pain we didn't judge them, but we had a great sense of compassion for them, because we knew how they felt - the same damning guilt and shame and abhorrence that we feel - wouldn't it make a difference?
"Honesty is a wonderful thing. When we admit that we are wrong, when we recognise that we have nothing to lose - nothing to protect - then we have everything to gain. And we gain it by journeying toward the truth. I am trying to learn this, I am not brilliant at it, but I have made a start. The grace of God compels us to make a start.
"People say I fell from grace. I didn't fall from grace, I fell into it. If you try and prove yourself and make yourself noteworthy by works, eventually your works will led you to exactly where mine led me. Works will always fail you. The end of the law is death. But with grace you never stop finding deeper water. It just keeps getting more wondrous."
[Source: geoffbullock.com]
{ My Chains are Gone }
"Where rules attempt to force us to do the opposite of what we want, grace actually changes what we want."
--- J. Smith ---
{ Love by choice }
"True Love is the practice of two powerful people putting one another before themselves, empowering one another, working together to meet one another's needs, and adjusting as needed in order to move together toward shared goals of the relationship.
Love does not just happen it is indeed intentional."
--- D. Silk ---
{ God chose me }
"Jesus chose us in the most difficult of circumstances. He chose us while you were in sin while we were His enemy. His side of the relationship with us does not depend on our choice but entirely upon His choice."
--- D. Silk ---
{ Repost: Think On Purpose - J. Meyer }
"And be constantly renewed in the spirit of your mind [having a fresh mental and spiritual attitude]."
—Ephesians 4:23
A real breakthrough came for me in my love walk when I realized that love was something I needed to do on purpose. I could not wait to feel loving; I had to choose to be loving. The same rule applies to our thoughts. We must learn to think good thoughts about people on purpose.
We must learn to look for the good, not the bad, in everyone. We all have faults and weaknesses, but we all also have good qualities. I admit that we must look harder to find the good in some people than in others, but to be like Jesus, that is what we must do.
Jesus finds the good in everyone and magnifies that instead of the bad. He found the good in me and started developing it until it finally surpassed a lot of the things that were wrong with me. He has done the same thing for many of us, and He expects us to do the same for people we encounter every day.
Take a moment and try this experiment. Just sit and think some good thoughts on purpose about someone you know, and see how much better you feel about yourself. If you keep it up, you will begin to notice changes in that person’s attitude toward you. One reason that individual will change is that you will have changed.
Thinking good thoughts opens the door for God to work. If we want the Lord’s good plan to manifest in our lives, we must get into agreement with Him (Amos 3:3). He is not negative in any way, and according to the Bible, we have been given the mind of Christ (1 Corinthians 2:16)—but we must choose to use it.
We also have a mind of the flesh, and I often feel it is like the earth’s gravitational pull; if we don’t resist, we are pulled in its direction. Because of humanity’s sinful nature, our thoughts will automatically go in a negative direction unless we direct them otherwise.
Love Others Today: Choose to think good thoughts today–even if you don’t feel like it.
—Ephesians 4:23
A real breakthrough came for me in my love walk when I realized that love was something I needed to do on purpose. I could not wait to feel loving; I had to choose to be loving. The same rule applies to our thoughts. We must learn to think good thoughts about people on purpose.
We must learn to look for the good, not the bad, in everyone. We all have faults and weaknesses, but we all also have good qualities. I admit that we must look harder to find the good in some people than in others, but to be like Jesus, that is what we must do.
Jesus finds the good in everyone and magnifies that instead of the bad. He found the good in me and started developing it until it finally surpassed a lot of the things that were wrong with me. He has done the same thing for many of us, and He expects us to do the same for people we encounter every day.
Take a moment and try this experiment. Just sit and think some good thoughts on purpose about someone you know, and see how much better you feel about yourself. If you keep it up, you will begin to notice changes in that person’s attitude toward you. One reason that individual will change is that you will have changed.
Thinking good thoughts opens the door for God to work. If we want the Lord’s good plan to manifest in our lives, we must get into agreement with Him (Amos 3:3). He is not negative in any way, and according to the Bible, we have been given the mind of Christ (1 Corinthians 2:16)—but we must choose to use it.
We also have a mind of the flesh, and I often feel it is like the earth’s gravitational pull; if we don’t resist, we are pulled in its direction. Because of humanity’s sinful nature, our thoughts will automatically go in a negative direction unless we direct them otherwise.
Love Others Today: Choose to think good thoughts today–even if you don’t feel like it.
{ Praising through it }
"Even when every door around you looks shut, you can keep praising God in the hallway. Praise precedes the victory!"
--- V. Osteen ---
Friday, September 27, 2013
{ Free to Love }
"The sign that you really have love in your relationships is that you and the people you are around are free to be themselves and no one in the relationship is motivated by fear. Free people are going to tell you the truth and they are going to make mistakes, this will not only test the relationship, but it will test the state of your heart."
--- K. Vallotton ---
{ #WeAreTheYoungAndFree - thunderclap.it }
We are a youth ministry by name, but by identity we are a people who have found hope, salvation, joy, forgiveness and a future in Jesus Christ. Our songs are the overflow of our hearts and a reflection of life in Jesus.
More than a label, Young & Free is also our message and mission. This is a generation called to stand strong in their youth and in their freedom, refusing to allow others to dismiss them for their age, and not allowing the chains of their history to leave them shackled. This is a generation awakened to their purpose in Jesus and empowered to step out into their calling.
Through the decades, God has called, graced and anointed us to create praise and worship music that would be a blessing to the global church.
In this thirty year story, we have seen generations of people serving, leading and pioneering movements that have ushered in the presence of our great God, and have helped the human heart connect with Jesus Christ. Today is no exception with the groundswell that is Hillsong Young & Free. We are the voice of THIS generation.
Songs arising from Young & Free are unlike anything that we have ever done before and we believe that through them young people will find life and deep, unending joy in Jesus. We believe that through these songs, hearts will awaken to the light of Christ, captives will be set free and the name of Jesus will be made known.
#canwegetawitness x
{ How to know when it's time to move on? - S. Furtick }
"There are often times in our lives where God will call us to stay firmly planted and faithfully rooted right where we are. Your marriage. Your family. A difficult season of growth. But there are other times where God has called us out and told us to move on."
{ Chose to love }
"The only way love can last a lifetime is if it's unconditional. The truth is this: love is not determined by the one being loved but rather by the one choosing to love.”
--- Stephen Kendrick ---
(The Love Dare)
{ Smile, it'll do your face & soul a favor }
"Let us not use bombs and guns to overcome the world. Let us love and compassion. Peace begins with a smile., Smile give stime a day at someone you don't really want to smile at; do it for peace."
--- Mother T. ---
{ Human BEings }
"Most of us become what the most important person in our life thinks we should become."
--- K. Vallotton ---
(Developing a Supernatural Lifestyle)
{ Compelled by Love }
"The more you fall in love with Jesus, the more you are going to be compelled to do what He tells you to do whether it is comfortable or not."
--- J. Meyer ---
{ Jesus, Is. }
“When you focus on a person instead of a set of rules, things fall into place."
--- J. Smith ---
{ Let Go & Travel Light }
"Regardless of why you've made bitterness and hatred your best friends, if you carry them around long enough, they will eventually eat you from the inside out."
--- K. Vallatton ---
(Supernatural Power of Forgiveness)
{ Breathe on me }
"You can have average talent, but when God breathes on your life, you will go further than people that have great talent. Don't talk yourself out of it."
--- J. Osteen ---
{ Repost: "20 Things to Know Before You're 30" - Debra K. Fileta }
Don't worry. They're worth knowing after 30, too.
September 18 marked a big milestone in my life.
3-0.
I can finally say goodbye to my twenties. I’m happy to say it’s been a good run. But if I’m completely honest, I feel a sense of grief coupled with excitement. I am sad for the years that have passed. They’ve gone by so fast. And I haven’t been able to slow them down.
But more, I’m filled with excitement. It has been an adventure, to be sure, and I’ve had the privilege of watching God at work in my life in so many ways. I’m excited to see what the next years hold.
I’ve had the chance to reflect on the past 10 years of my life, and I realized there are many things I know at 30 that I didn’t know at 20.
1. Time is limited, so invest it in things that matter. I remember the days of wasting my time away on meaningless things. Now that I’m older, I see that my time is valuable and limited.
2. Say no to one-way friendships. Not only is it important to use your time wisely, it’s crucial to spend it with people that care. So much of our time is wasted on superficial friendships and obligations. Invest in people who are worth investing in.
3. It doesn’t matter what people think of you, and you can’t please everyone. Often, your twenties are defined by living a roller coaster life, allowing the choices and decisions of others affect you rather than taking control of your own life. It’s sad to say that so many years are spent defining yourself by others, instead of for the sake of who God has called you to be.
4. Life is more expensive than you think it is. This life lesson isn’t fun. But it’s amazing how much $100 seems to a 20-year-old, and how little it seems to a 30-year-old. As you get older, you learn to really see the value of money and how to spend and use it wisely.
5. Being healthy matters. You realize you’re no longer invincible when the aches and pains begin to slowly creep into your life. And it only gets worse—or so I hear. Learn to appreciate your health, and to be more proactive about taking it seriously.
6. Joy can come from unexpected places. So many things that may have never seemed fun in my younger years have taken on a whole new meaning. As life gets more complicated, you learn to take more joy in the simple things.
7. You should value your parents. You will make the same mistakes as they did. The older you get, the more you realize your own flaws, and it helps you have grace for the flaws of others. We’ve all gotten to that moment where we realize that in so many ways we are just like our parents.
8. You’re not stuck. By God’s grace, you get to choose how you will live. You don’t have to repeat patterns, and you’re not paralyzed to a certain mold.
9. Your decisions affect more people than just yourself. There’s a ripple effect, and it gets clearer with each passing year. When you’re young and single, this can sometimes be hard to see, but as you grow up, you cease to be on center stage and you see that life is all about the big picture, and you are a small but important piece in it.
10. Your words have a lot of power, so be careful what you say. From writing a blog post to saying a kind word, from a thoughtless comment to a negative remark, I’ve seen first hand how powerful words can be. They can build up and they can destroy. You learn to be more careful with how you use the words you have been given. They have the power to change lives.
11. Forgiveness is worth the hard work. More than ever, you see how much an unforgiving spirit impacts your life in a negative way, and how letting go has so much more to do with you than with others.
12. Success in life means so much more than what you thought it would. My definition of success has drastically changed for the better. My friendships, family and faith have taken on a whole new meaning within the definition of success. God has changed my heart over the years, and with it, what I define as my treasures.
13. Worry doesn’t really change your future. I wish I could have learned this way sooner, and wish I could prevent relapses. But by God’s grace, I want to continue to walk with more faith than fear.
14. There’s so much more to your identity than you ever imagined. Physical appearance is a small fraction of who you are. Hopefully this is something you learned early on, because as you learn to accept your body and your appearance you find there is so much freedom in that. And along those lines, gray hairs aren’t so bad after all. They’re actually kind of cute, once you get used to them. Well, we’ll see how we feel about that by 40.
15. You’ve made a lot of mistakes, and you will make many more. But you learn to forgive yourself and move on.
16. Life doesn’t always turn out how you expect. But it still turns out just right. I know so many things have not happened on my time frame nor in the way I expected them to. But looking back, God’s time frame was so much better than mine. I’m learning to trust that He is good and that He really knows best.
17. Those doors closed for a reason. I look back at the failures and disappointments in my life now, and I am so thankful for those closed doors and broken roads. God knew then what I know now. And I’m so glad He did.
18. God is bigger than you could have ever imagined. And I’m so thankful He is.
19. Wisdom is really a gift from God. And something that you have to ask for now just as much as ever.
20. There is still so much to learn. I have learned so much about myself over the past few years, and I’ve learned that there’s so much more to be learned. Like the old saying goes, the more you know, the more you know you don’t know.
Here’s to the next decade! May it be blessed for you and me both.
[Source: relevantmagazine.com]
{ Believing for The Crazy }
"If you can accomplish your dreams in your own strength, your own talent, with your own resources, then your dreams are too small."
--- V. Osteen ---
{ Your favor is all I need }
"God is interested in your success. Even if you are not the smartest or strongest, God can bless you with good success when you depend on His grace."
--- J. Prince ---
Thursday, September 26, 2013
{ Rules to lead }
"Rules are meant to lead us to relationship, not to replace relationship.”
--- J. Smith ---
{ Repost: "If I Could Tell My Adolescent Self What I Know Now" - L. Oh }
As I turned 22 yesterday, I’m sitting here in awe, reflecting on my life. When I was a kid, I couldn’t wait to grow up. But now that I’m growing up, I wish I wasn’t. My life has been full of contradictions: I’ve witnessed people with nothing smile, and those with everything cry. I’ve seen myself chase the ones who ignore me, but I’ve also ignored the ones who adored me.
I’ve witnessed too many ironies in my life and have gone through painful experiences. Despite learning from these mistakes, I wish I could tell my young self what I know now. And if some genius happens to create a time machine in my lifetime, these are the things that I’d say:
People will come and go.
I think until recently, I’ve had difficulty accepting this fact. Certain people in your life will come and go: friends, significant others, colleagues, classmates, etc. I used to dwell on the past through old posts from Facebook timelines, old pictures, old letters, old videos, or songs that would instantly remind me of some person, place, time period, or memory.
And after viewing those things, I’d recall all the memories that I had with that particular person, and although good, the nostalgia stung my heart a bit.
I’d wonder about what those people are doing now, what they’ve been up to, what made us drift, or if our dynamic could ever be the same again. And with certain people, it may be a blessing and a relief that they are no longer in my life, but with others, I had wished that our paths would align again.
Paradoxically, the memories made me sad and happy all at the same time. But if I could tell my young self what I know now, I’d remind her that this is just a natural process in life. Sometimes it’s controllable, but other times, it’s out of our power and there’s a time to let go. People that you were once inseparable from are now merely strangers. But if you and that person (whomever it may be) are meant to be in each other’s lives, it’ll happen when it’s the right time.
You will meet several “prince charmings” before you find your king.
I’ve been in several relationships, each wondering if this guy would be the “one”. And whether I broke it off or he broke it off, there would always be disappointment in the end. Breakups are inevitable, and everyone will go through them at least once in their lifetime. It’s a difficult period, but it’ll help you grow.
You’ll learn more about yourself and what you want in a man (or even don’t want). Don’t ever chase after a man, either. It’s reasonable to fight for the one you love, but don’t ever chase. A man will go where he wants to go, and stay if he wants to stay. And even if he does give in and comes back, that doesn’t help. You should be with a man, not because you were able to convince him, but because you didn’t need to. Don’t ever settle for less than what you deserve, or else you’ll get even less than what you settled for. You are no man’s consolation prize.
Be selfish when it comes to your happiness.
When I say to be selfish when it comes to your happiness, I don’t mean if it hurts other people (i.e. stealing, deception). I mean to be selfish when other people rob you of the opportunity to be happy. If a man is toying with your heart, end it civilly and let him go. You don’t deserve to spend your nights crying. There are other people in the world who love you and want the best for you. Learn to love yourself and don’t ever let anyone keep you from the pursuit of happiness that you’re entitled to.
I once directed all my passion and emotions to the wrong things and wrong people, until I realized how much more fulfilling my life would be if I rerouted that energy towards my dreams, ambitions, and aspirations. And as a result, I was blessed beyond description with new opportunities. I only wish I had implemented this advice sooner in my life.
Appreciate your parents and let them know that you love them as often as you can.
For every second of my 22 years of life, my parents have been there. You may not appreciate them when you’re younger, but the older you get, the more you realize how much sacrifice, hard work, and dedication, these two people have given to give you the best opportunities in your life. The reason I graduated with a bachelor’s degree this year is because of these two people. I’d be nothing without them.
So when they nag about studying and valuing your education, or discipline you for lying, know that it’s because they love you and want you to be a good person of character, who makes a positive difference in this world. Your parents are the only people who will bust their asses to provide the best life for you.
Love them while they’re still alive, because when you’re old and they’re gone, you’ll regret not appreciating them enough. So stay on the phone for a few extra minutes; don’t be so eager to hang up or leave the house to go out with your friends. Cook them dinner; do some extra chores around the house. Do small things to make it easier for them to breathe.
If you have a good relationship/friendship, don’t lose it over your pride.
Sometimes, it’s good to stand up for yourself and keep your pride. But in other circumstances, being too prideful can end up hurting you. Apologizing doesn’t always mean that you’re at fault and are wrong. Sometimes, it just shows that you value the relationship with the other person more than you value holding onto your pride and ego.
Be productive; don’t be so lazy; don’t procrastinate.
I wish I could’ve emphasized this to my younger self. I spent all my precious time on insignificant things, and I will never get that time back. Wake up early and do what you need to do. Seize your day and own it! Wake up a few minutes earlier to get your day started. Do simple things, like leaving early so that you don’t hit traffic.
What a waste of a precious day to be spent sitting in traffic. Don’t be so lazy about small things like charging your phone or driving until your gas meter is past empty. Nothing gives me more anxiety than when my phone battery is at less than 10 percent, or when I’m paranoid that my car is going to stop on the freeway.
Bad company corrupts good character.
Don’t give into peer pressure. Even if you’re the most independent person and think you can make your own decisions for yourself, habits from the people around you can desensitize you. You know it’s not right to drink and drive. So don’t, even if your friends do it. You vowed as a kid to never get into drugs, so be cautious about being friends with people who do it so nonchalantly.
Just because some girls call themselves “bad bitches” doesn’t mean you should label yourself as so. Label yourself a beautiful, extraordinary, unique woman. You will realize that your reputation will be the most important thing. Surround yourself with good influences.
Be grateful for everything.
Big or small, appreciate the things that you’re blessed with, whether it’s good health, an opportunity to have an education, your family, your friends, the roof over your head, or something as simple as an umbrella when it’s raining. I’m grateful and thankful for the sounds of laughter coming from the people I love in my life. When you remind yourself what you’re blessed with (rather than what you wish you had), you end up living a more fulfilling life.
Don’t listen to Drake’s Take Care album after midnight.
It’s a good album, but you’ll have sleepless nights, and late night thoughts are the worst.
Don’t have expectations.
They can lead to disappointment. Have goals and dreams, but don’t have expectations. Sometimes we expect more from others just because we would be willing to do that much for them, but that’s what leads to disappointment. Do things for others without expecting anything in return. That way when you do get something, you’ll be happy, but if you don’t get anything, you’ll be content, as well.
Don’t hold back on your dreams because you’re embarrassed about what people will say.
I wanted so badly to do many things in my life. I held back, though, because I was worried about what my peers would say. As a result, I gave up those opportunities and ended up witnessing other people live the life that I dreamed of. Go after the passions and aspirations that you have in your life now. You do only live once, so why not live the life you dream of?
You’ll feel the most pain when you witness good people go through the worst bullsh*t.
When you watch your mom and dad work hard for what they have and it crumbles before their eyes, you’ll feel the most pain. When you watch your grandparents feel the repercussions of backaches and leg problems from decades of working hard labor jobs, you’ll feel the most pain. When you witness an innocent child born with a disability that they didn’t ask for, you’ll feel the most pain. The best solution to that is to remind these people that they’re precious and loved.
The secret to living a happy life is to let go.
Let go of pain; let go of anger; let go of regret; let go of resentment; let go of the past; let go of mistakes; let go of the ex; let go of the disappointment. Surrender it all. Why hold onto the negatives? You don’t have room for it. You want to clear out the junk to make room for the good things. And in life, it’s the same principle. If you hold onto all the pain and negativity, you’re only preventing room for the good things to enter your life. There is always a purpose or reason why certain people are removed from your life.
Think about that when you decide to hold onto, or chase after, them. Cut out the negativity. It’s a waste of space in your heart and life. How amazing is it to stay silent when someone expects you to lash out in anger? How wonderful is it to laugh when someone believes that you are going to shed tears from pain? Let go of the things that hold you back, and you’ll realize how truly beautiful your life really is.
I’d wonder about what those people are doing now, what they’ve been up to, what made us drift, or if our dynamic could ever be the same again. And with certain people, it may be a blessing and a relief that they are no longer in my life, but with others, I had wished that our paths would align again.
Paradoxically, the memories made me sad and happy all at the same time. But if I could tell my young self what I know now, I’d remind her that this is just a natural process in life. Sometimes it’s controllable, but other times, it’s out of our power and there’s a time to let go. People that you were once inseparable from are now merely strangers. But if you and that person (whomever it may be) are meant to be in each other’s lives, it’ll happen when it’s the right time.
You will meet several “prince charmings” before you find your king.
I’ve been in several relationships, each wondering if this guy would be the “one”. And whether I broke it off or he broke it off, there would always be disappointment in the end. Breakups are inevitable, and everyone will go through them at least once in their lifetime. It’s a difficult period, but it’ll help you grow.
You’ll learn more about yourself and what you want in a man (or even don’t want). Don’t ever chase after a man, either. It’s reasonable to fight for the one you love, but don’t ever chase. A man will go where he wants to go, and stay if he wants to stay. And even if he does give in and comes back, that doesn’t help. You should be with a man, not because you were able to convince him, but because you didn’t need to. Don’t ever settle for less than what you deserve, or else you’ll get even less than what you settled for. You are no man’s consolation prize.
Be selfish when it comes to your happiness.
When I say to be selfish when it comes to your happiness, I don’t mean if it hurts other people (i.e. stealing, deception). I mean to be selfish when other people rob you of the opportunity to be happy. If a man is toying with your heart, end it civilly and let him go. You don’t deserve to spend your nights crying. There are other people in the world who love you and want the best for you. Learn to love yourself and don’t ever let anyone keep you from the pursuit of happiness that you’re entitled to.
I once directed all my passion and emotions to the wrong things and wrong people, until I realized how much more fulfilling my life would be if I rerouted that energy towards my dreams, ambitions, and aspirations. And as a result, I was blessed beyond description with new opportunities. I only wish I had implemented this advice sooner in my life.
Appreciate your parents and let them know that you love them as often as you can.
For every second of my 22 years of life, my parents have been there. You may not appreciate them when you’re younger, but the older you get, the more you realize how much sacrifice, hard work, and dedication, these two people have given to give you the best opportunities in your life. The reason I graduated with a bachelor’s degree this year is because of these two people. I’d be nothing without them.
So when they nag about studying and valuing your education, or discipline you for lying, know that it’s because they love you and want you to be a good person of character, who makes a positive difference in this world. Your parents are the only people who will bust their asses to provide the best life for you.
Love them while they’re still alive, because when you’re old and they’re gone, you’ll regret not appreciating them enough. So stay on the phone for a few extra minutes; don’t be so eager to hang up or leave the house to go out with your friends. Cook them dinner; do some extra chores around the house. Do small things to make it easier for them to breathe.
Forgive.
There are so many people who have hurt me. But on the other hand, there are so many people that I have hurt, as well. The most precious gift that I’ve ever received is grace and mercy. When I made mistakes and was forgiven, I felt such a relief to know that the bad blood was gone. Reciprocate love and kindness.
How can you expect forgiveness from others, when you can’t do the same? That girl at school who mistreated you out of jealousy? Forgive. The friend who deceived and backstabbed you? Forgive. Be compassionate, show mercy and love this person, even when they least deserve it. That’s actually when they need it the most.
It’s a sign of maturity when you understand someone has hurt you, yet you still feel the power to wish them the best. Keep on loving them. I promise you’ll eventually make even a cold, unemotional person cry. Love those around you unconditionally and relentlessly.
There are so many people who have hurt me. But on the other hand, there are so many people that I have hurt, as well. The most precious gift that I’ve ever received is grace and mercy. When I made mistakes and was forgiven, I felt such a relief to know that the bad blood was gone. Reciprocate love and kindness.
How can you expect forgiveness from others, when you can’t do the same? That girl at school who mistreated you out of jealousy? Forgive. The friend who deceived and backstabbed you? Forgive. Be compassionate, show mercy and love this person, even when they least deserve it. That’s actually when they need it the most.
It’s a sign of maturity when you understand someone has hurt you, yet you still feel the power to wish them the best. Keep on loving them. I promise you’ll eventually make even a cold, unemotional person cry. Love those around you unconditionally and relentlessly.
If you have a good relationship/friendship, don’t lose it over your pride.
Sometimes, it’s good to stand up for yourself and keep your pride. But in other circumstances, being too prideful can end up hurting you. Apologizing doesn’t always mean that you’re at fault and are wrong. Sometimes, it just shows that you value the relationship with the other person more than you value holding onto your pride and ego.
Be productive; don’t be so lazy; don’t procrastinate.
I wish I could’ve emphasized this to my younger self. I spent all my precious time on insignificant things, and I will never get that time back. Wake up early and do what you need to do. Seize your day and own it! Wake up a few minutes earlier to get your day started. Do simple things, like leaving early so that you don’t hit traffic.
What a waste of a precious day to be spent sitting in traffic. Don’t be so lazy about small things like charging your phone or driving until your gas meter is past empty. Nothing gives me more anxiety than when my phone battery is at less than 10 percent, or when I’m paranoid that my car is going to stop on the freeway.
Bad company corrupts good character.
Don’t give into peer pressure. Even if you’re the most independent person and think you can make your own decisions for yourself, habits from the people around you can desensitize you. You know it’s not right to drink and drive. So don’t, even if your friends do it. You vowed as a kid to never get into drugs, so be cautious about being friends with people who do it so nonchalantly.
Just because some girls call themselves “bad bitches” doesn’t mean you should label yourself as so. Label yourself a beautiful, extraordinary, unique woman. You will realize that your reputation will be the most important thing. Surround yourself with good influences.
Be a decent human being.
No matter what your status is, acknowledge the small things people do for you. Nothing annoys me more than when people think they’re entitled. Thank the person that takes the time to hold your door open for you, or when they let you get into their crowded lane on the road. Life is hard for everyone. We all have struggles; we all have worries.
We’re all trying to make it. No decent human being should build his or her happiness on another person’s pain. Treat others the way you want to be treated. Don’t have a cold, unsympathetic heart. Be kind to your waiter, or to the janitor at your school. Nothing is worse than an ungrateful person. Evaluate yourself, be respectful, and stay humble.
No matter what your status is, acknowledge the small things people do for you. Nothing annoys me more than when people think they’re entitled. Thank the person that takes the time to hold your door open for you, or when they let you get into their crowded lane on the road. Life is hard for everyone. We all have struggles; we all have worries.
We’re all trying to make it. No decent human being should build his or her happiness on another person’s pain. Treat others the way you want to be treated. Don’t have a cold, unsympathetic heart. Be kind to your waiter, or to the janitor at your school. Nothing is worse than an ungrateful person. Evaluate yourself, be respectful, and stay humble.
Be grateful for everything.
Big or small, appreciate the things that you’re blessed with, whether it’s good health, an opportunity to have an education, your family, your friends, the roof over your head, or something as simple as an umbrella when it’s raining. I’m grateful and thankful for the sounds of laughter coming from the people I love in my life. When you remind yourself what you’re blessed with (rather than what you wish you had), you end up living a more fulfilling life.
Don’t have expectations.
They can lead to disappointment. Have goals and dreams, but don’t have expectations. Sometimes we expect more from others just because we would be willing to do that much for them, but that’s what leads to disappointment. Do things for others without expecting anything in return. That way when you do get something, you’ll be happy, but if you don’t get anything, you’ll be content, as well.
Don’t hold back on your dreams because you’re embarrassed about what people will say.
I wanted so badly to do many things in my life. I held back, though, because I was worried about what my peers would say. As a result, I gave up those opportunities and ended up witnessing other people live the life that I dreamed of. Go after the passions and aspirations that you have in your life now. You do only live once, so why not live the life you dream of?
You’ll feel the most pain when you witness good people go through the worst bullsh*t.
When you watch your mom and dad work hard for what they have and it crumbles before their eyes, you’ll feel the most pain. When you watch your grandparents feel the repercussions of backaches and leg problems from decades of working hard labor jobs, you’ll feel the most pain. When you witness an innocent child born with a disability that they didn’t ask for, you’ll feel the most pain. The best solution to that is to remind these people that they’re precious and loved.
The secret to living a happy life is to let go.
Let go of pain; let go of anger; let go of regret; let go of resentment; let go of the past; let go of mistakes; let go of the ex; let go of the disappointment. Surrender it all. Why hold onto the negatives? You don’t have room for it. You want to clear out the junk to make room for the good things. And in life, it’s the same principle. If you hold onto all the pain and negativity, you’re only preventing room for the good things to enter your life. There is always a purpose or reason why certain people are removed from your life.
Think about that when you decide to hold onto, or chase after, them. Cut out the negativity. It’s a waste of space in your heart and life. How amazing is it to stay silent when someone expects you to lash out in anger? How wonderful is it to laugh when someone believes that you are going to shed tears from pain? Let go of the things that hold you back, and you’ll realize how truly beautiful your life really is.
{ Michael Jordan 's Wisdom }
"Take the Chance. You miss every shot when you did not take it."
--- M. Jordan ---
{ Ellen: The Many Voices of Christina Bianco }
this is brings insane to a whole other level!
#floored x
{ Lip Sync Battle with Joseph Gordon Levitt, Stephen Merchant and Jimmy Fallon }
a lethal combo of levitt and fallon.
#blown x
{ Not settling for the norm }
"Don’t settle for average or ordinary when you were designed for the extraordinary!"
--- V. Osteen ---
{ Welcome Home Pt. 2 }
my dream of worship is actually more alive than ever... even after leaving that part of the "ministry" perse... but really.. who's to say what is your calling... where it was only Grace whom has form and inbuilt a destiny and desire in you right from the beginning...
instead of harping on the humanness that everyone has... including myself... my eyes has grown to actually focus on the dept of what His house is really like... and the core of it all boils down to His people... nothing more...
is not about how much can we bring to the table... how much can we do and prep up for an amazing service ahead... and even how much recognition for the title that some chase after... all of that contains nothing but self and the doing we strive with...
what happened to just being who we really and embracing each other's differences than attempting to change, control or duplicate it? this home is not about pleasing mortal flesh and senses... cause if it was... we have got it all horribly wrong... and everything else would eventually be trembling in chaos...
the atmosphere of a church is of peace, freedom, joy, thanksgiving, feeding, building, inspiring, and rest... all of these which every single soul... no matter where they have been or what they have done... are rightfully called to be apart of this place...
for Jesus has came for the lost... for the broken.. for the unloved... for the sick... for the sinners... and that makes up for the 7 billion of us on this blue speck... wherever position anyone is in... Grace only looks at the person... and says...
"welcome home son...
welcome home daughter...
for you are mine...
and all that I have...
and all that I have...
is now absolutely yours..."
this is what my heart of worship is all about... not the platform or foregrounds of a building... as the concrete does not ever compare to the cornerstone of His finished job... that is the only ministry that i stand upon...
Jesus did not just stay at one place and called it His church... He went out there where the miraculous happened... and that proves one thing... Grace cannot ever be bounded... it did not just remained at the cross but is nesting in our core.. and wants to commune and encounter with the rest out there...
it is time to let all our praises out... here's to the young and free... to the courageous and compelled... to the unstoppable and impossible... we are not going to allow any naysayers put a temporary stop to what Grace has intended us to do... nopes... that just intensifies our anthem... pushing us higher...
"the old has fade...
can't you see I am doing a new thing..."
oh yes indeed...
oh yes indeed...
{ Live At the Banks House | Deluxe Edition Trailer }
"Until you honor this season, you won't be able to move on creatively.
We're just gonna worship, and go after it.
How do we move forward with something real and new, carrying the beautiful things from our history without duplicating our history, trying to do the same things twice."
--- United Pursuit Band ---
{ Breaking through }
"We're not just supposed to break even. We're supposed to break through to a new level, to more of God's favor, to increase, to promotion."
--- J. Osteen ---
{ "#Hashtag" with Jimmy Fallon & Justin Timberlake }
i wanna marry your out of this world and stellar humor jimmy fallon!
#terrificthursdays x
{ To the ends of the earth }
i will be Your hands of hope and feet of justice...
liberty shall reign in times such as these...
{ Beauty in all things }
"God promises to render beauty out of "all things," not "each thing." The ultimate culmination is good."
--- M. Lucado ---
{ Bring Hope & Value }
"Bringing hope to an interaction during confrontation will remind people who they are and why they are valuable. If you stay hopeful of a productive outcome it will energize what would otherwise be a draining experience for everyone involved."
--- D. Silk ---
{ Love in Commitment & Action }
"Love is made up of a commitment, an ACTION and a result! It is the biggest, important, most powerful thing in the universe!"
--- D. Silk ---
{ A lifestyle of worship }
"Worship is what we do from the moment we wake in the morning till we go to sleep. We can glorify God with every breath throughout the day in a lifestyle of worship."
--- Worship U ---
{ You are His constant dwelling place }
"Heaven cannot contain the Holy Spirit, yet He finds a home within the hearts of His servants."
--- C. Spurgeon ---
{ "Mr. & Mrs. Betterhalf" Series: "Why people will always let you down" - S. Furtick }
We all have people in our lives that we treat like life rafts. People who we think are supposed to hold us up, keep us from drowning, or rescue us from a life we dread. We long to feel value in acceptance from them and will do anything we can to receive it. But God never intended for us to find our security in another imperfect person. And it's only a matter of time before we both sink under the weight of our combined dysfunction.
"Your security it not found in another person, your security is found in God's promise.
A lot of people are waiting on somebody to pop them the question. But the most important four words that will determine your destiny are not: "Will you marry me?" but is "God has promised me -- Like some other dysfunctional human being can make you whole.
"We're not leaving the land God has called me to." -- The promise land represents your place in God, your position in Christ. We are not leaving God's most best and blessed place for our life. We are not compromising our standards, and not leaving the place of God's perfect will for our life.
(Married people) Even when it gets hard, or not feel love for each other in our hearts, or feel tingly when you roll over and wake up to each other in the morning, we are leaving the land and our marriage or covenant, and stepping aside from our commitment. For those who are thinking of giving up, you have come too far to turn around now. You went through hell and high water to get to this place. You are not about to forfeit all of it now. Start leading your family instead of abandoning your sons -- having enough hormones to become a dad, but not enough guts to stay to become a daddy."
{ Grace has nothing to do with us, and everything with Him }
“We quantify, codify, and classify grace until it’s more about us than about God.”
--- J. Smith ---
{ Venturing a wee bit outside }
"What would you have missed out on in your life if you always stayed in your comfort zone? Be thankful that you’ve grown this far and be open to growing more in the days ahead!
--- V. Osteen ---
{ It's not a dictatorship Pt. 2 }
"It is a big mistake to teach my children that they need the presence of a punisher in order to make right choices."
--- D. Silk ---
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
{ Wise Choices }
"Eventually we all come face to face with the results of our choices."
--- J. Meyer ---
so choose wisely and not emotionally.because at the end of the day, you're not destined for the temporal.our choices are not only made to impact our present,but the future generation ahead of us.
#truth x
{ Healthy Connection Plan - D. Silk }
1. Start respectful conversations by clarifying that you deeply care about the person’s needs.
2. Send and receive clear messages.
3. Don’t participate in disrespectful conversation.
4. Keep your love on, nuke fear, believe the best in people and trust them to care.
5. If they don’t care, forgive them.
6. Move TOWARD those you LOVE even when it HURTS.
2. Send and receive clear messages.
3. Don’t participate in disrespectful conversation.
4. Keep your love on, nuke fear, believe the best in people and trust them to care.
5. If they don’t care, forgive them.
6. Move TOWARD those you LOVE even when it HURTS.
{ Picked up by Grace }
"God’s grace will find you wherever you are, but it will not leave you there."
--- J. Meyer ---
{ Guys don't speak code }
“Guys don’t speak code. If he is into you HE WILL LET YOU KNOW. Everything else is you making up stories. Sorry ladies.”
#word x
{ Repost: "13 things I have learnt about relationships" - Amy. C }
As an ever-evolving student on life and relationships, here are a few things I have learned.
1. Invest in the people who invest in you. Choose your tribe wisely.
2. Don’t wait to tell people how you feel about them. Tell them now. And if you feel the same tomorrow, tell them tomorrow too.
3. In everything in life, all you have control over is how hard you tried and if you acted with grace and integrity. So take a risk, jump in with two feet, do whatever it takes to fight for what you want – so at the end, you know you tried your best. Conduct yourself with self-respect no matter how challenging the person or situation is – because the one thing nobody can ever take away from you is your dignity.
4. People become what you believe of them. See someone for the best of them, and they will rise up. See someone for the worst of them, and they will fall down to meet that expectation.
5. In love, there is a time to listen to your heart and a time to listen to your head. Be open to love, relish in the risk of it, but don’t be blind to the signs that tell you something is not fitting.
6. Any relationship – whether it be business, friendship, or romantic – that does not have an alignment of values has an inevitable expiry date.
7. Know when to walk away. Know when to stay.
8. Spend more effort trying to get to the root of an issue, versus reacting to the symptoms. You will reach lasting results versus short-term Band-Aid effects.
9. Invalidating someone’s feelings because it’s not something that matters to you is belittling and dehumanizing. Allow people to feel. Encourage people to express. Embrace humaness. The uncomfortable conversations are the ones that build self-awareness and character.
10. If you approach with empathy and an intent to understand versus the need to prove wrong, you will always win.
11. There is someone out there that will find you perfect just the way you are – your imperfections, wounds and quirks included. Work on yourself to be the best version of yourself you can be, keep an open heart and your intentions pure, and you will attract abundance and love.
12. “Be a nice human.” – Unknown. Approach life and the people that cross your path with the intention to enrich and contribute. Do this everyday and you will have a baseline of peace and joy regardless of how tumultuous your world is.
13. When someone evokes negative emotions in you – before you assign blame, look inward. People can only trigger something that is already within you. The universe puts people in our path to test us, to trigger us, to give us opportunities to evolve past our old wounds, blockages and insecurities. If you can learn the lesson from these catalysts, you will evolve. Or, you can choose to keep repeating your karma.
{ Repost: "20 things I would tell my 20 year old self" - Amy. C }
1. If even 1% of you has the desire to live/work in another country, start the Visa process now. Do this so 10 years later when you have the urge to live abroad, you won’t have to wait a decade in order to do so.
2. Compete with your intelligence and kindness. Not with your looks.
3. There is clothing appropriate for the beach, the club and the office. Know the difference between all three settings.
4. Be careful whom you get your advice from. Not everyone is suited to give you feedback that will help your path.
5. Each breakup brings you closer to the person who is right for you.
6. You’re not going to marry him. He was never meant to be forever.
7. Quick friendships can break apart easily. Take time before giving someone BFF status. You don’t know someone until you’ve experienced enough of life with them.
8. Buying shoes too small with the hope that they will stretch out is a bad idea.
9. If he doesn’t make an effort to see you, he doesn’t like you enough. Move on.
10. Ask your parents for advice even when you don’t need it. It makes them feel good.
11. Have enough money saved, your resume always updated and diversify your skillset so that if you lose your job tomorrow, you will still be on your feet.
12. Say yes more.
13. You know when something isn’t fitting. You can feel it in your body. Don’t ignore that intuition.
14. Send more flowers. Write more cards. Celebrate people’s special moments.
15. No matter how much it hurts, how unfair it feels or how hard you are struck down, always handle yourself with grace and dignity. That’s the only thing nobody can ever take away from you.
16. Spend more time outside. Spend less time shopping.
17. Regardless of what Usher thinks, you will never find/make love in the club.
18. Go for the beta male.
19. Don’t post that photo.
20. You will get back up. Your heart will mend. You will forget. And one day in the future, it will all make sense.
{ Repost: "The 11 difference between dating a boy vs a man" - Amy. C }
When I was in my early twenties, if a guy acted aloof, called back only sometimes and showed minimal interest, I would get hooked. You could say I was addicted to the bad boy/ unavailable boy/ player. I was drawn to what psychotherapist, Ken Page terms as “attractions of deprivation” – when we are drawn to people who embody the worst emotional characteristics of our parents. Basically, the theory explains that we are attracted to people who can wound us the same way we were wounded in our childhood, as our psyche tries to recreate the past void and save us by changing its ending.
“The child in us believes that if the original perpetrators — or their current replacements — finally change their minds, apologize, or make up for that terrible rupture of trust, we can escape from our prison of unworthiness. Our conscious self is drawn to the positive qualities we yearn for, but our unconscious draws us to the qualities which hurt us the most as children.” - Psychology Today
So games used to work on me because 1) I had unresolved daddy issues and 2) At the tender age of 20, I was trying to figure out who I was and to top it off, I was ridden with insecurity and a low sense of self-worth.
But somewhere in between the passing of a decade, something changed.
I learned to love myself. I became independent, confident, and started to value my self-worth. I went through hardships and heartbreaks and picked myself back up which built my strength and courage. Instead of relying on beauty as my source of empowerment, I focused on basing my empowerment on my intelligence, successes, values, contributions to the world and how I helped others. In a sense, I finally grew up. I went from being a girl to becoming a woman. And as a woman, you are attracted to very different things than you are as a girl.
A girl is attracted to boys. A woman is attracted to men. Now, this has nothing to do with the actual age of a person. I’m referring to maturity, life vision and stage of life. In fact, some people regardless of their age, will never really grow up. You can switch the genders in this post and most points would likely still apply.
If you are a girl (lack independence, are ruled by insecurity, lack self-respect, throw tantrums, have princess syndrome, don’t have strong values or boundaries and can’t hold yourself on your own) then expect that you will attract only boys. However, if you are a woman (independent, ambitious, knows your worth and value, has a strong moral compass, is considerate and an able communicator and doesn’t let insecurity dominate your psyche), then you should be dating a man. And if you can’t spot the difference just yet, here are some pointers.
1. A man knows what he wants, and goes for it. A boy may have somewhat of an idea, but not really. He doesn’t think too much about it, and even if he does, doesn’t exert much effort to get it. A boy is passive, a man is assertive.
2. A man plans for his future and is working towards building a foundation and infrastructure in order to have a family (at some point in his life). A boy lives only in the moment and his plans are mostly around which bar he’s going to hit up on the weekend.
3. A man looks for a woman with intelligence, who is supportive, grounded and encompasses a shared set of values when choosing a partner. A boy cares mostly only for girls who are hot, wild and exciting.
4. A man knows a good woman when he meets one and will take initiative to get to know her. A boy may make an attempt if you’re lucky, but gives up before ever really trying.
5. A man has the courage to have uncomfortable conversations. He is honest with his intentions and lets people know where they stand. A boy avoids. He ignores confrontation or any serious talks about feelings. Instead of dealing with a situation, he runs away from it or creates drama or excuses to mask the fact he’s not that into you or a relationship.
6. A man knows when to invest in a woman and jump in with two feet. A boy is always “testing” – he doesn’t fully commit because he never knows if he is quite ready. But the truth is, because he is a boy, regardless of who he meets, he will never be ready due to the stage of life he is in.
7. A man knows how to have a good time and be social, but is often busy making strides in his career and building his life. A boy is getting crunk with his buddies at the bar every weekend.
8. A man takes the time to reflect on the type of man he wants to be, the example he wants to leave and the vision for his life. He has put thought into his values. A boy has not established his moral compass or values and consequently, is often inconsistent.
9. A man has integrity. He means what he says, and says what he means. He has follow through and actions his promises. And if he can’t he has the guts to tell you why. A boy makes promises but doesn’t follow through.
10. A man is afraid of rejection but will put himself out there anyway. A boy is afraid of rejection and acts passive so that his pride and ego won’t ever get too banged up.
Now, a lot of these differences require taking the time to know someone to figure out if the apple of your eye is indeed a man, or a mere boy. However, one of the quickest filters that you can notice from the beginning is this:
11. A boy plays games. A man doesn’t.
*To clarify, when I’m referring to “games” I mean mind games.
Now, a lot of these differences require taking the time to know someone to figure out if the apple of your eye is indeed a man, or a mere boy. However, one of the quickest filters that you can notice from the beginning is this:
11. A boy plays games. A man doesn’t.
*To clarify, when I’m referring to “games” I mean mind games.
{ I am a Blessing - iBethel }
"I knew that no matter what the Lord tells me what to do, I can achieve it as long as I am connected with Him as a Son.
Physically I still look tiny but in the spirit I feel like a giant, and I feel like I am really armed and dangerous to dispel the forces of darkness.
I feel like I came here as a boy, but I am going home as a grown man who knows his purpose in his life.
And for the first time in my life, I feel such a sense of fulfillment, that I know what I was born to do, and I am going to be doing that. I really really feel like I am truly a blessing."
#inspired x
{ For we're all created in His image }
"We often like those who think, talk & act like us because we are not looking for the image of God in them, we're searching for our own image."
--- C. Caine ---
{ Sisterhood: A, the sweetest of them all... }
where do i begin… A is one sister-of-honor whose conversations can go on leaving a scent of encouragement and edification... everytime i fellowship with her... it is so refreshing and uplifting there is never a dull moment with this precious gem around... her presence is warm and accompanied with a sweet spirit... drawing people closer to see the wonders and wisdom she have to say.... with a rare trait of actually listening with not only her ears but heart of compassion is what He will use to change the generation of the women around her... not even the woman that she greatly looks up to... but having the capacity of making a difference in quality... and transformation by the foundation of His grace... she is an inspiration ready to be expanded and let out... watch this crazy anointed space...
#myheavenlyneighbourforkeeps x
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
{ Why do you let me stay here? - She & Him }
joseph gordon levitt is prove that there's a God, and that He's good, real good.
{ Repost: "What About Love?" - J. Umali }
“Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get — only with what you are expecting to give — which is everything.” - Katharine Hepburn
When the word love seems fleeting and the notion of this word is rejected because of the unending blundering of failed relationships after failed relationships, all I can say now is, I’ve found love.
These are just a few simple things that I realized earlier on, but these things are powerful enough to define such a great abstraction – love. (NOTE: This all in my point of view.)
For one, you find love from your family, which is ultimately something that cannot be replaced nor replicated. This type of love is probably the type of love which is taken for granted. People won’t realize the importance of having that love for their family. Often we take for granted those opportunities to finally be with them, to finally have the time to spend with them, get to know them and bond with them. Your family will love you no matter how long you’ve been away, no matter what you do, no matter how far you’ve gone, they’ll always love you for who you are and who you will be. Their love knows no price, no limits.
You find love in the friendships that you make. Honestly I’m not good at keeping relationships. Being that friendly, cheerful, happy type of person doesn’t always mean you have a lot of friends. I’ve had my share of people coming and going and that was it, never heard from them again. The people whom I have right now, the people who I manage to still have that chance to be with, to talk with, to be myself with, the feelings I have with them will always overpower that feeling of losing a friend. But honestly right now, I feel more of an outsider, rather than someone part of a group of friends. I guess its my fault too, for distancing myself in the beginning, but that doesn’t mean I can’t try to have a friendship with you or with other people, there’s always a chance for that. It’s just really hard to talk to people who won’t even try to talk to you in the first place. Regardless, friendships are formed because you find love in the things you share, the memories you make, those talks you have, the laughs that leave you gasping for air, and those times when you needed someone when you had no one else to run to.
You find love in the things to do. It was a late realization, and it took almost 2 years for me to understand myself and what I really wanted to do in the future. I was confused for the first year I had at school, I wasn’t sure if I was taking the right course, I completely doubted my abilities in that degree, I guess I wasn’t cut out for course. I took a year off just for the chance to pull my grades, to find what I think I can do, where I think I could go. But I had that gut feeling I would be more comfortable in the field of arts. I wasn’t too artsy, I never really developed my skills in drawing, writing, etc, which sort of a regret now. I’m trying to run after those dreams again, but its harder now since I think if I had kept myself on the right track before, I would’ve been light years ahead of the skill set I have now. But at least, with everything unfolding before me, the more chances I get to do what I love, the better chances I have of fulfilling my dreams in the long run - hopefully.
You fall in love with someone. Cliche at its finest, but it is honestly something I cannot miss out on. Falling in love. I’ve had my share of that feeling with a supposed significant other. At this day and age the meaning of love is often taken for granted. It is often mistaken for something else, often mislead with the fluctuations of in-explainable feelings. But then, there are no rules to falling in love, it is boundless, it should not be timed, it should not be tampered with, you should just let it be – its just suppose to happen. It’s like second nature, a force of habit, something you wouldn’t notice until probably a huge sign would just pop out and say “hey, you’re falling for this person”. In fact, there are times where you’d deny these feelings, but its either you just accept and act on it, or not. That actual realization that you are indeed falling for someone, it just hits you, and sometimes it could hit really hard.
Love is someone seeing the beauty in you and wanting to be with you. Love is not guaranteed. We are not owed in love. That’s why when we get it, we don’t always know how lucky we are to have it, too often we take for granted something that is so dear and through loss could only be realized that it is something worth holding on to. Here’s the thing: There’s nothing more rewarding in this world than knowing that you’re being understood. Someone is seeing all of you and accepting it as is.
When the word love seems fleeting and the notion of this word is rejected because of the unending blundering of failed relationships after failed relationships, all I can say now is, I’ve found love.
These are just a few simple things that I realized earlier on, but these things are powerful enough to define such a great abstraction – love. (NOTE: This all in my point of view.)
For one, you find love from your family, which is ultimately something that cannot be replaced nor replicated. This type of love is probably the type of love which is taken for granted. People won’t realize the importance of having that love for their family. Often we take for granted those opportunities to finally be with them, to finally have the time to spend with them, get to know them and bond with them. Your family will love you no matter how long you’ve been away, no matter what you do, no matter how far you’ve gone, they’ll always love you for who you are and who you will be. Their love knows no price, no limits.
You find love in the friendships that you make. Honestly I’m not good at keeping relationships. Being that friendly, cheerful, happy type of person doesn’t always mean you have a lot of friends. I’ve had my share of people coming and going and that was it, never heard from them again. The people whom I have right now, the people who I manage to still have that chance to be with, to talk with, to be myself with, the feelings I have with them will always overpower that feeling of losing a friend. But honestly right now, I feel more of an outsider, rather than someone part of a group of friends. I guess its my fault too, for distancing myself in the beginning, but that doesn’t mean I can’t try to have a friendship with you or with other people, there’s always a chance for that. It’s just really hard to talk to people who won’t even try to talk to you in the first place. Regardless, friendships are formed because you find love in the things you share, the memories you make, those talks you have, the laughs that leave you gasping for air, and those times when you needed someone when you had no one else to run to.
You find love in the things to do. It was a late realization, and it took almost 2 years for me to understand myself and what I really wanted to do in the future. I was confused for the first year I had at school, I wasn’t sure if I was taking the right course, I completely doubted my abilities in that degree, I guess I wasn’t cut out for course. I took a year off just for the chance to pull my grades, to find what I think I can do, where I think I could go. But I had that gut feeling I would be more comfortable in the field of arts. I wasn’t too artsy, I never really developed my skills in drawing, writing, etc, which sort of a regret now. I’m trying to run after those dreams again, but its harder now since I think if I had kept myself on the right track before, I would’ve been light years ahead of the skill set I have now. But at least, with everything unfolding before me, the more chances I get to do what I love, the better chances I have of fulfilling my dreams in the long run - hopefully.
You fall in love with someone. Cliche at its finest, but it is honestly something I cannot miss out on. Falling in love. I’ve had my share of that feeling with a supposed significant other. At this day and age the meaning of love is often taken for granted. It is often mistaken for something else, often mislead with the fluctuations of in-explainable feelings. But then, there are no rules to falling in love, it is boundless, it should not be timed, it should not be tampered with, you should just let it be – its just suppose to happen. It’s like second nature, a force of habit, something you wouldn’t notice until probably a huge sign would just pop out and say “hey, you’re falling for this person”. In fact, there are times where you’d deny these feelings, but its either you just accept and act on it, or not. That actual realization that you are indeed falling for someone, it just hits you, and sometimes it could hit really hard.
Love is someone seeing the beauty in you and wanting to be with you. Love is not guaranteed. We are not owed in love. That’s why when we get it, we don’t always know how lucky we are to have it, too often we take for granted something that is so dear and through loss could only be realized that it is something worth holding on to. Here’s the thing: There’s nothing more rewarding in this world than knowing that you’re being understood. Someone is seeing all of you and accepting it as is.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)