{ Travel with a deep consciousness* of God.. }

Your life is a journey you must travel with a deep consciousness of God.

It cost God plenty to get you out of that dead-end, empty-headed life you grew up in. He paid with Christ's sacred blood, you know. He died like an unblemished, sacrificial lamb. And this was no afterthought.

Even though it has only lately—at the end of the ages—become public knowledge, God always knew He was going to do this for you.

It's because of this sacrificed Messiah, whom God then raised from the dead and glorified, that you trust God, that you know you have a future in God.

1 Peter 1:18-19 (The Message)

if the all loving and graceful Father has given us His best of His very best, The Darling of Heaven, so what more will He without a doubt and in a heart-beat not freely give to us?

[TBC..]

{ Toss or Take? Pt. 2 }

"search my heart, and search my soul..
there's nothing else, that i want more..
shine Your light, and show Your face..
in my life, Lord have Your way..

without You, i am nothing."

'search my heart' | united (aftermath)

the #25. tosses and takes, to carry on a new journey..


#1. // take the relationship with G. and allow Him to bring it to a whole other level of experiences ("Your presence is life to me.."), toss distractions.

#2. // take His word and run deeper with it, toss other voices of the world and not be conformed by it.

#3. // take more Christ confidence and security, toss fear and comparison.

#4. // take righteousness as my boss, toss bad habits and characteristics.

#5. // take more quality family time to worship and pray, toss routine activities.

#6. // take more of  Jesus and thoughts of others, toss all of yourself.

#7. // take mornings to do a sit down devo with Him, toss the ones 'on the go'.

#8. // take more character and wisdom, toss personality and impulse.

#9. // take more prayer and walking, toss action and talking.

#10. // take in focus and full completion of tasks, toss procrastination.

#11. //  take the God impossible life, toss the possible back to the world.

#12. // take maturity and stretching, toss familiarity and comfort.

#13. // take more worship, toss anything less.

#14. // take gentleness and femininity, toss aggressiveness.

#15. // take things that edifies, toss ones that toxifies.

#16. // take in domestication, toss the mum dependency.

#17. // take evenings to walk feebs and care for her well, toss more of the mum dependency.

#18. // take more practices, toss tendencies of swinging it.

#19. // take more organization and priority, toss mess and half past six 'tude.

#20. // take more humility, toss all pride.

#21. // take time to care for my body and health, toss laziness.

#22. // take more listening, toss butting in and need to say the right thing.

#23. //  take more forgiveness and grace, toss grudges and bitterness.

#24. // take more love and more love unconditionally, toss hatred.

#25. // take more praises of thanksgiving, toss discontentment.

i lay down all my desires and matters of the heart soley to be in the very center of Your will..

"Let Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.."

{ Quarter of a Centch.. }

w/ mum, sam, fel & lil' bex.

cuttin' the cake w/ lil bex.

{ Only Him who understands.. Pt. 2 }

from an event which i thought would be liberating as much was needed to be cleared, it was entirely the very opposite. guess we can never rely on good expectations on man as some may fail us.

thank G. He is the only One that never fails.

being utterly speechless the whole entire time and holding back as i was listening (while I was not paid back the same much), there was never once a connection, never once a sense of care of the actual situation, never once wisdom sprouted, and never once discernment used. and yes, never is a strong term.

it was rather surprising as much respect and honor was placed and now it is only by grace (and i mean extreme amounts of it) that i would be able to see it now. aren't we all in working in progress?

have not experienced so much hurt like never before, and did not realized it when i was talking to mum and had to pause while very rarely, i'd a hurtful cry. have placed much value in which was meant very dearly to me and now i have to painfully let it go?

going to STAND and face the first one up for the very last time, and after that, it will be rebuilding from the very beginning. where to have that strength and tenacity, is sourcing from the very One Himself.

re-stand, re-store, re-new, and re-buildt.

through it all, besides G. who i can faithfully lean on to, it would be the number one blessing in my life which is familee and then kingdom mateship, who i can vouch to say carries His big heart of love around.

oh how He loves, through Him and through the hearts of others.

{ Only Him who understands.. Pt.1 }

we can try our best in understanding any situation in our perspective and still not quite get it. one may be terribly and horribly misunderstood or worse yet, hurt in the process of mouthing our very own point of view without a careful mind of thought.

aren't we blessed that G. does not see how man sees?

anything eye level tends to be the very first to be spotted at (and blindly deemed the most obvious) rather than the deeper root of what is the core matter of the very heart. and this takes wisdom, time and discernment, crazy loads of it.

if we get surfaced about everything, nothing gets solved but rather every normality reply to questions are viewed out like it came from an instruction book or manual.

honestly, there was never a need to think of a change, and now it scarily morphs into a thought after much was said.

all i can say is, it is truly Him who understands.

[TBC..]

{ Toss or Take? Pt. 1 }

taking this week before morphing into another era of a quarter of a century to the thirties, (or another box after 18-24), to do some massive cleaning out. and it does not only mean physically like my organized mess of a closet, but also re-prioritizing my life and whatever, and whoever that is in it.

truly, it covers all areas and it is time to do a serious "toss" or "take". even down to personal characteristics and habits that one may tend to hold on because of comfortability sake. now is the moment to toss all toxic and take all that is edifying for yet another exciting journey.

before i can be even able to begin and ready myself for renewal with the task of spring cleaning, first thing is first,

pray.

"God, You teach me and show me what to toss or take in my life. Let Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Amen."

{ Re-valuing* and not De-valuing.. }

everyone has insecurities, no?

i ever wonder if God has created me "normal", because at times my ears cannot phantom the ridiculous things that come out from my mind and straight out of my mouth. oh the word vomit.

truly admire those women who carries themselves in true femininity and pose in a gentler and ladylike projection of their character in all sorts of situation. and why not me? hahaha.

this issue or insecurity to whatever you will call it, has been doing my absolute head in. it is not a crazy form of comparison like some girls will go the extend to, nor it is jealousy which gives out snarky remarks.

all i can say is that maybe i should start appreciating who G. has made me to be, as well as acting with much wisdom without trying too hard? and also having my craziness well over controlled rather than all over like most of the uncalled times.

quite honestly, what you see is what you get (and more perhaps?) -- independent (emotionally wise), un-barbie like, non-flirtatious, naturally very loud, sarcastic, jokes, pokes, sassy, a wee bit prideful with a "i can handle myself" exterior and hmm.. the rest i shan't let out else my heart is literally served on a platter.

yes, a tad insecured much?

as much as we say we do not mind to be alone, (and trust me, i am one who really needs my space!), being alone alone is the one status that we cannot bear to live for that long, even with much pride. guess a wee bit is just two words that tones down what it actually is.

the way men sees, is mainly on the exterior, and that point of view does not last. we are so called human after all with the default of not always having that "anointing" on.

it is time, to put back or truly embrace the value that He has already seen and inputed in us right from the day He formed our very beings. no more de-valuing but re-valuing.

we're not talking about the value people see in us (cause with that, it does fluctuate). it is the God value that the ultimate creator of the heavens and the earth was willing to even send His only Son to die for us.

One's death, for all's worth.

[TBC..]

{ Freedom*, is here! }

when DZ's back agains in singas, its always a joy and privilege to worship under her God given anointing. it is so effortless with a heart changing impact because she is one wog (Woman of God) that carries out His presence where there is freedom to dance and sing in His house!

oh such joy when you are up the front, gracing the stage with her and her hills crew. the strings and drums were rhythmically mad -- heard the orlando mix johnny looking bloke broke one of the metal symbols with his wooden sticks. now thats pros!

with God flowing in every single one of the notes sung and praise filling up the spaces with His spirit, there was a drastic shift in the atmosphere! our mouths, soul and body were just broken free from the mind set of men's expectations, and now transformed in our true form of worshiping God.

there was absolute liberation and heaven was being pulled down, sweeping everyone of us worshippers deeper into His courts and coming humbly into His throne being just as He made as to be.

oh how He loves us.

{ Dreamy white spaces.. }

space is a luxury which i am desperately craving for.. away from the usual "going ons" that i have to face up every single day. how i yearn for a place of my own where there are self controlled noise and movements; everything from the music and what nots are set in my own tempo and rhythm instead of anyone's own.

yes it screams a whole lot of selfish desires and centeredness but i want a nest of my own.. having the only person to deal with is yourself. how is that pleasant, rather than having the consideration and voice of others beating at your ear drums.

the only form of ear plugs now comes in a form of an apartment: in a victorian white mod furnish with soft jazz tunes playing up in the background, while i laze in a comfy white couch accompanied with a glass of mad fish and feebs warmth at my feet.

dream a little dream..

{ Sold out for Your calling.. }

Go by Hillsong United

Be willing to give it all to go His way..
Be sold out for His calling..
Be living a life for His glory..

-----

With all our earthly desires, even the ones we may think they are Godly and from You, take it all now. Have it Your way because in the end, we are forever Yours and that is the only thing that gives us a purpose of living and making a difference in Your name.

Since when did we live for ourselves if You are already living Yours through ours?

[ TBC.. ]

{ Faithful* through the seasons.. }

for He has brought us thus far, He will continue to see forth this journey through the different stages of our lifes.

while i was standing at the end of the ale with C, we were blown away from the view of D walking down the hand in hand with her father practicing the bridal entrance and hand over to A, the blessed groom.

it was just surreal as He was truly faithful from the time we all knew each other being the young punks as we were, till now. what an upgrade of maturity, careers and relationships we have all conquered and still are.

instead of grades we were use to be mindful about,  we are all in the season of finding security in the marketplace and building our own family with younglings on the way or aspiring for another one.

God is behind every growth and increase which we utterly give Him all the glory for. that is truly "our God and King, until the end.." (Until The End by NCC).

and, He's not done yet.. watch this space.

{ Christ occupied.. }

the more we tend to focus on ourselves, we lack in the awareness of being utterly and soley dependent on the One who has already given it all. our beings are self occupied instead of Christ occupied which the more we try, the more we fail because it is the carnal and flesh that we put our confidence on.

even if we put our mind on the good things and making effort in looking and being the best, we fool ourselves thinking we can pull it off all by the facade of impressing others of our God given abilities or skills that we master.

the food for thought today was that self effort is doomed to explode because it is base on the climate of the situation where as a God effort leads to only good success because it stands firmly on what He says.

the moment we say we cannot, we humble ourselves being the best candidates for His grace as Jesus did not die for perfect people. it is His unmerited, undeserved and unstoppable favor that protects us, and this inc. our mistakes which He still prospers.

so, how can we ever lose?

{ Find rest my soul.. }

Still by Hillsong

Hide me now
Under your wings
Cover me
Within your mighty hand

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with you above the storm
Father You are King over the flood
I will be still and know you are God

Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know His power
In quietness and trust

-----

Psalms 46 (Amp)

GOD IS our Refuge and Strength [mighty and impenetrable to temptation], a very present and well-proved help in trouble.

Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change and though the mountains be shaken into the midst of the seas,

Though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling and tumult. Selah [pause, and calmly think of that]!

There is a river whose streams shall make glad the city of God, the holy place of the tabernacles of the Most High.

God is in the midst of her, she shall not be moved; God will help her right early [at the dawn of the morning].

The nations raged, the kingdoms tottered and were moved; He uttered His voice, the earth melted.

The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our Refuge (our Fortress and High Tower). Selah [pause, and calmly think of that]!

Come, behold the works of the Lord, Who has wrought desolations and wonders in the earth.

He makes wars to cease to the end of the earth; He breaks the bow into pieces and snaps the spear in two; He burns the chariots in the fire.

Let be and be still, and know (recognize and understand) that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations! I will be exalted in the earth!

The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our Refuge (our High Tower and Stronghold). Selah [pause, and calmly think of that]!

{ Time to Re-Prioritize.. Pt. One }

with so much going on, i prefer to be a homebody; away from the world and its craziness of eat outs, crowded malls and weddings to dress up to.

honestly, give me books, piano, music, a tad of housework (if i feel cinderella-ish) but loads of fam time (mostly all beckah time) and i would be an absolute happy camper with such simple joy to be satisfied with.

after a week of so many events, and the following will be yet another big one (faints), think some quiet can whiten the noise and do my deafen self good.

only familee, ministry and work is what i am currently focusing on at this period of my life. taking a break on the others which does broaden a perceptive (and not escape) of whether it is beneficial and edifying.

was feeding on one of BJ's sermon while i was on all time spiritual low and he did mention that busyness in the world's perspective concur a "i have everything going on for me" type of status, where as in true reality it is purely just self awareness depleting our God awareness.

it is time, to action on a full three hundred and sixty five degree turn and re-prioritize*. 

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*to arrange things in a new order of importance; to prioritize again
*to arrange, organize, and deal (items to be attended to) in order of their relative importance
*to give a high priority to or establish as a priority

ref: wordnik and dictionary