//Procrastinating Syndrome.
Basically, I'm just hoping and wishing that this week would be more productive compared to last week (Where i just lazed around doing shit all, Went out 24'7 and Didnt even bother to sort out my uni files, Open my darn text books and Start i dont know.. NERDING?
Not only that, I'll have to sort out my Business Stats from last summer before the term starts (to see if they would let me off and give me my conceded pass - amen amen), Find a PR consultancy job after the exams (Don't know where to start or Any companies in mind) and Get back my unpaid salary from last yr Sept.
Can't you sort out the pattern of delaying everything?
*Let out a big sigh*
Also lately, I've been feeling REALLY EMPTY inside. Something is REALLY MISSING. Like where's the JOY, where's the FIRE and where's the LOVE for the lord that i use to have? I have to really come to point, where i CAN'T BE STUFFED with ANYTHING.
Going to church, attending a cell group, serving in the ministy - ALL that, I YEARN for it SO BADLY, Yet I just let time do its chore, and pass by without anything being done.
*Letting out another sigh*
With this, I tried to find "joy" at other places or beings but that doesn't even reach the surface or give me a TRUE SENSE of what joy really is.
All I can say is this:
" Lord, I'm crying out to you right now. In times like this, your the only one and truly the only one that could give me the true shalom, love and joy that I'm yearning for! "
//tc&godbless ; much <3
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Thursday, December 7, 2006
Let It Fade..
This song is exactly what I'm going through at this very moment.. was just gripping on the lyrics and wow, t'was spot on!
Just so sick of my old life, habits, activities.. they are so meaningless to me now. i want something more in my life.. the yearning for this is just creeping me inside.. when will this end? when will i finally see the light.. the B R E A K T H R O U G H ?
Or what my dad said, a para dime shift? (which i've already asked for) Wells, if the God of the Breakthrough is gonna visit ma hs, (which is very soon) then i should just be patient and praise Him. Praise Him for the plentiful things He has done - Only by Grace babyy.. Only by G R A C E!
FYI* - it's from Jeremy Camp's new album - Beyond Measure
Anyways, here's the lyrics - Enjoy :)
'Let It Fade'By: Jeremy Camp
Have you been walking on a silence that's uncertain?Have you helped yourself in eveything that's empty?You can't live this way to long.There's more than this, more than this.Have you been standing on your own feet too long?Have you been looking for a place where you belong?You can rest, You will find rest.
Let this old life crumble, Let it fade.Let this new life offered by your saving grace.Let this old life curmble, Let it fade,Let it fade.
Have you been holding to what this world has offered?Have you been giving in to all these masquerades?It will be gone, It will be gone.Are you carrying the weight too much,Are you running from the call?
Just so sick of my old life, habits, activities.. they are so meaningless to me now. i want something more in my life.. the yearning for this is just creeping me inside.. when will this end? when will i finally see the light.. the B R E A K T H R O U G H ?
Or what my dad said, a para dime shift? (which i've already asked for) Wells, if the God of the Breakthrough is gonna visit ma hs, (which is very soon) then i should just be patient and praise Him. Praise Him for the plentiful things He has done - Only by Grace babyy.. Only by G R A C E!
FYI* - it's from Jeremy Camp's new album - Beyond Measure
Anyways, here's the lyrics - Enjoy :)
'Let It Fade'By: Jeremy Camp
Have you been walking on a silence that's uncertain?Have you helped yourself in eveything that's empty?You can't live this way to long.There's more than this, more than this.Have you been standing on your own feet too long?Have you been looking for a place where you belong?You can rest, You will find rest.
Let this old life crumble, Let it fade.Let this new life offered by your saving grace.Let this old life curmble, Let it fade,Let it fade.
Have you been holding to what this world has offered?Have you been giving in to all these masquerades?It will be gone, It will be gone.Are you carrying the weight too much,Are you running from the call?
Sunday, November 12, 2006
'The God of the Breakthrough is gonna visit my house'
Yep, those words are from Jerry.S - His message was what i craved and longed for during this period of my life, where i was (keyword) lost but now i'm F O U N D!
It seems that we may go back to God if we need something, (as i do now) but the D E S I R E is more important! I'm on a pathway of knowing Him intimately, at a much more deeper level then before - The journey has only begun and it will not end till He comes!
With my exams nx wk, and my uncoped schedule of "nerding" (signs of pure laziness and disorganization), i'm pretty much totally screwed at this point! No like, SERIOUSLY!So without Him and His favor, i really don't know what to do =S I'm nothing without Him! My human strength and knowledge is nothing compared to His wisdom!
There's really no need to wait for the breakthroughs and miracles to happen in order to P R A I S E Him! We can do it now, so..
" Thank you JESSSUUUS! Your the name above all names! G., Your my everything, the beginning and the end, my rock of salvation! You have turned my mourning into D A N C I N G, my sorrow into J O Y! I'm rejoycing because You have saved me again and AGAIN! I'm eternally grateful for your unconditional lurp and undeserved, unearned and unmerited favor!
Much lurp to you G.
Highly favored and Deeply loved; back2U~*
It seems that we may go back to God if we need something, (as i do now) but the D E S I R E is more important! I'm on a pathway of knowing Him intimately, at a much more deeper level then before - The journey has only begun and it will not end till He comes!
With my exams nx wk, and my uncoped schedule of "nerding" (signs of pure laziness and disorganization), i'm pretty much totally screwed at this point! No like, SERIOUSLY!So without Him and His favor, i really don't know what to do =S I'm nothing without Him! My human strength and knowledge is nothing compared to His wisdom!
There's really no need to wait for the breakthroughs and miracles to happen in order to P R A I S E Him! We can do it now, so..
" Thank you JESSSUUUS! Your the name above all names! G., Your my everything, the beginning and the end, my rock of salvation! You have turned my mourning into D A N C I N G, my sorrow into J O Y! I'm rejoycing because You have saved me again and AGAIN! I'm eternally grateful for your unconditional lurp and undeserved, unearned and unmerited favor!
Much lurp to you G.
Highly favored and Deeply loved; back2U~*
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Drama, Drama, DRAMA!
Yesh it was a dramatized wk alriite.. hahaha.. thank the lord its over! - [breathes out]
Can't wait for this wkend, we girlies are dressing up! i heart costumes! Hmm, decisions decisions! a nurse outfit is cute.. but i like the playboy bunnies thou - But i ain't going too skanky.. guess sat is the ONLY time that girls can dress up in lingeries and not called a ####, HA.
All i wanna say is that no matter what, the good, the nasty, the down right durtty, the sinful doings, wells not that bad but yeh whatever.. I've always got the big man up there watching me and taking care of me!
Obviously theres a guilt trip.. the path I'm taking up right now ain't the one that he wants, but one day (which i soon i hope) I will get off that path and get found by him since I'm kinda lost at the moment..
Even when theres a couple of bad situations I'm in right now, or bad crap that creeps up.. all i know is that I've got Him.. His love.. His voice.. His hands - no one can give me that!; G., thanx (=
Can't wait for this wkend, we girlies are dressing up! i heart costumes! Hmm, decisions decisions! a nurse outfit is cute.. but i like the playboy bunnies thou - But i ain't going too skanky.. guess sat is the ONLY time that girls can dress up in lingeries and not called a ####, HA.
All i wanna say is that no matter what, the good, the nasty, the down right durtty, the sinful doings, wells not that bad but yeh whatever.. I've always got the big man up there watching me and taking care of me!
Obviously theres a guilt trip.. the path I'm taking up right now ain't the one that he wants, but one day (which i soon i hope) I will get off that path and get found by him since I'm kinda lost at the moment..
Even when theres a couple of bad situations I'm in right now, or bad crap that creeps up.. all i know is that I've got Him.. His love.. His voice.. His hands - no one can give me that!; G., thanx (=
Saturday, October 14, 2006
Nothing without Him
Having a hectik wk (like this wk) is not very good.. always ends up in endless amount of stress, sleepless nights doing research, parapharsing and not to mention, referencing - [Tear] Its also been an emotionally drained 4days+ for me - [Sigh] When will it end?
I realise something thou, no matter how hard i try (with my own strength), i can only do so much. but with Him, He strengthens me and that makes me do more than what i expect!
its so true, i have tried to change things by myself. but you cant thou. you just have to LEAVE IT ALL TO HIM. He'll do the rest, REALLY!
Trusting in him is the only way.. just pray in the spirit, God will definitely move the mountain for you, change your situation or the person for you, bless you, protect you, keep you, and most importantly, love you.
Can't believe he would do ALL those, to sinner like me (who disappoints him, use him, does things thats not so pleasing - yesh i know, no condemnation). So why is He ALWAYS good?
because in Him, we are precious in His eyes no matter what we do!
- deeply loved* -
I realise something thou, no matter how hard i try (with my own strength), i can only do so much. but with Him, He strengthens me and that makes me do more than what i expect!
its so true, i have tried to change things by myself. but you cant thou. you just have to LEAVE IT ALL TO HIM. He'll do the rest, REALLY!
Trusting in him is the only way.. just pray in the spirit, God will definitely move the mountain for you, change your situation or the person for you, bless you, protect you, keep you, and most importantly, love you.
Can't believe he would do ALL those, to sinner like me (who disappoints him, use him, does things thats not so pleasing - yesh i know, no condemnation). So why is He ALWAYS good?
because in Him, we are precious in His eyes no matter what we do!
- deeply loved* -
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
He's so good..
thats right, "GOD IS SO GOOD TO ME!" always always! i realise that he's the only reason that i live.. that i breathe.. that i am what i am.
i thank Him for answering my prayers - for sam and her sch/invovlement in church (thank you), for mum and her wonderful time back in Perth again (thank you) healing mike's tigh (thank you), for touching ben's heart (thank you) and for blessing my dad with his mission work (thank you)!
my family is so bless'd, highly favoured and deeply love.. and i'm so overwhelmed for them! how God has been impacting in their indivual God driven lifes! though we're apart at the moment, in time we'll be back together agains - i know it!
something symbolic happened to me today - was cleaning my rm, and my earphones wire was CLINGING onto my earrings (where they were hung on my wine glass), and as i moved, of course it broke. somehow i knew i was gonna BREAK IT, and i normally leave it on my bed (which was the right thing to do), but i left it on the table and THAT AIN'T RIGHT!
Here's the message:
CAUTION*** - Be careful and watch out!
"When you cling on something that ain't right, You gotta BREAK IT!"
"So to handle with care, handle it with GOD (:
i thank Him for answering my prayers - for sam and her sch/invovlement in church (thank you), for mum and her wonderful time back in Perth again (thank you) healing mike's tigh (thank you), for touching ben's heart (thank you) and for blessing my dad with his mission work (thank you)!
my family is so bless'd, highly favoured and deeply love.. and i'm so overwhelmed for them! how God has been impacting in their indivual God driven lifes! though we're apart at the moment, in time we'll be back together agains - i know it!
something symbolic happened to me today - was cleaning my rm, and my earphones wire was CLINGING onto my earrings (where they were hung on my wine glass), and as i moved, of course it broke. somehow i knew i was gonna BREAK IT, and i normally leave it on my bed (which was the right thing to do), but i left it on the table and THAT AIN'T RIGHT!
Here's the message:
CAUTION*** - Be careful and watch out!
"When you cling on something that ain't right, You gotta BREAK IT!"
"So to handle with care, handle it with GOD (:
Sunday, September 17, 2006
Normality settling in..
yays, my clock work system has gone back to normal - no more panda eyes, tossing, turning and being ol'zombified -.- good mornin' sunshine - acutally got up and ate some mackers breakie.. haven't done that for yonks!
just came back from PS - saw jon and hady today, and may i add, jon looks amazing in real life! so much better compared to being on tv! no, i wasnt one of those screaming sweaty highsch girlies, who would go all hardcore and would do anything to get their idols attention (nothing wrong with btw). i was just admiring from afar.. - [mesmerized] kris and jean reckons he looks like a beng (in eng: azian gansta?), thats fine with me cos i'm mainly attracted to his voice and talents anyway ^-^
this wk has been same old, just nerding, bumming and lotssa eating outs (gonna have to cut that habit of mine). it seems like everything and everyone around me are changing.. they are just moving ahead and doing their thang. well i'm stuck back herre roaming around by myself. is this what growing up is all about? changes? iknow iknow.. but when i think of any alterations in my life, good or bad, fear just creeps up on me - just scared of the new and the unknown i guess.. - [sigh] everytime these feelings start to develop, i just rmb "i can do EVERYTHING and ANYTHING in Christ who strengtens me!"
enough with the contemplating, and being all afraid of whats gonna happen in the future! the only one that i'm gonna put my upmost concentration and faith on is HIM, the one above, watching me, listening to me, and unconditionally loving me for me! i'd a one on one with Him the other night, and i truly feel His presence roaming around my room as i was crying out to Him. He is truly and ultimately the only one who can dry my tears away.. He's more than my box of tissue paper.. He's my heavenly daddy.. my ALL!*
good things happen to us not because we deserve it, but because he loves us! man, its a tough job for someone to love a sinner like me. words cannot even come forth to explain the adoration.. but the cross can - much love to you JC.
SHOUTOUT: to my girl vicky*
you's must be excitied about LONDON BABY (sorry i always have to add that in, hee hee). i'm so happy and excited for this new journey of yours that your gonna uncover! months and months of planning and talking, and bam, reality hits. you'll be always always in my prayers darls. may the Lord guide you, and protect you, and watch over you in everywhere you go and everything you do. He's our provider so don't worry and just seek His kingdom and everything that you seek (inc things above those) would be added unto you - taken from matt 6:33.
heart you so much bella - [hugs you tight], and i cant wait to see you again and hear from all the wonderful things, experience, places and people that you have encountered that are gonna be a marvellous blessing to you - and vice versa. happy packing darls and have a safe flight (: take care of your beautiful self alrites? God bless you hone - mwackxxx!
- thinking of you always, miss you and lurp you very muchies*
just came back from PS - saw jon and hady today, and may i add, jon looks amazing in real life! so much better compared to being on tv! no, i wasnt one of those screaming sweaty highsch girlies, who would go all hardcore and would do anything to get their idols attention (nothing wrong with btw). i was just admiring from afar.. - [mesmerized] kris and jean reckons he looks like a beng (in eng: azian gansta?), thats fine with me cos i'm mainly attracted to his voice and talents anyway ^-^
this wk has been same old, just nerding, bumming and lotssa eating outs (gonna have to cut that habit of mine). it seems like everything and everyone around me are changing.. they are just moving ahead and doing their thang. well i'm stuck back herre roaming around by myself. is this what growing up is all about? changes? iknow iknow.. but when i think of any alterations in my life, good or bad, fear just creeps up on me - just scared of the new and the unknown i guess.. - [sigh] everytime these feelings start to develop, i just rmb "i can do EVERYTHING and ANYTHING in Christ who strengtens me!"
enough with the contemplating, and being all afraid of whats gonna happen in the future! the only one that i'm gonna put my upmost concentration and faith on is HIM, the one above, watching me, listening to me, and unconditionally loving me for me! i'd a one on one with Him the other night, and i truly feel His presence roaming around my room as i was crying out to Him. He is truly and ultimately the only one who can dry my tears away.. He's more than my box of tissue paper.. He's my heavenly daddy.. my ALL!*
good things happen to us not because we deserve it, but because he loves us! man, its a tough job for someone to love a sinner like me. words cannot even come forth to explain the adoration.. but the cross can - much love to you JC.
SHOUTOUT: to my girl vicky*
you's must be excitied about LONDON BABY (sorry i always have to add that in, hee hee). i'm so happy and excited for this new journey of yours that your gonna uncover! months and months of planning and talking, and bam, reality hits. you'll be always always in my prayers darls. may the Lord guide you, and protect you, and watch over you in everywhere you go and everything you do. He's our provider so don't worry and just seek His kingdom and everything that you seek (inc things above those) would be added unto you - taken from matt 6:33.
heart you so much bella - [hugs you tight], and i cant wait to see you again and hear from all the wonderful things, experience, places and people that you have encountered that are gonna be a marvellous blessing to you - and vice versa. happy packing darls and have a safe flight (: take care of your beautiful self alrites? God bless you hone - mwackxxx!
- thinking of you always, miss you and lurp you very muchies*
Tuesday, September 5, 2006
No more sleepless nights..
Yesh, I've been having a wk of sleepless nights - You's should check out my panda eyes (never ONCE have had them before) O.O
This wk has been a rather emotional ride for me.. [big sigh]
The only thing that's bringing me pure joy is when i talk to Him at night (: He's my refuge.. He's my strength.. He's my peace.. and He's my ALL.
Here's something that i got from my daily devotions:
Psalm 127:1-4
(vs 1) “It is vain for you to rise up early; to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows…” (In other words, it is pointless to worry and lose sleep because the truth is) “Unless the Lord builds the house, they labour in vain who build it; unless the Lord guards the city, the watchman stays awake in vain.”
(vs 2) "It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows; for so He gives His beloved sleep."
(vs 3) “My beloved child, throw that care, that burden to Me and go to sleep.”
(vs 4) For when you are sleeping, He is working on your situation. He, who neither slumbers nor sleeps, works the night shift for you as you sleep!
So no more sleepless nights.. tossing and turning.. worrying about the little or big things.. just gonna sleep on it cos i know that while i'm snoozing away.. He's working on it.. not me.. HIM!
Have a bless'sed wk ahead y'all - I know this one is gonna be a full wk of nerding off and seminars during the wkend.. but i know who to depend on and take EVERYTHING with His sholom!
tc&gb ; mwackxxx
This wk has been a rather emotional ride for me.. [big sigh]
The only thing that's bringing me pure joy is when i talk to Him at night (: He's my refuge.. He's my strength.. He's my peace.. and He's my ALL.
Here's something that i got from my daily devotions:
Psalm 127:1-4
(vs 1) “It is vain for you to rise up early; to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows…” (In other words, it is pointless to worry and lose sleep because the truth is) “Unless the Lord builds the house, they labour in vain who build it; unless the Lord guards the city, the watchman stays awake in vain.”
(vs 2) "It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows; for so He gives His beloved sleep."
(vs 3) “My beloved child, throw that care, that burden to Me and go to sleep.”
(vs 4) For when you are sleeping, He is working on your situation. He, who neither slumbers nor sleeps, works the night shift for you as you sleep!
So no more sleepless nights.. tossing and turning.. worrying about the little or big things.. just gonna sleep on it cos i know that while i'm snoozing away.. He's working on it.. not me.. HIM!
Have a bless'sed wk ahead y'all - I know this one is gonna be a full wk of nerding off and seminars during the wkend.. but i know who to depend on and take EVERYTHING with His sholom!
tc&gb ; mwackxxx
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