{ Reevaluating }

after a break from the usual routine that i am normally accustomed to, i find myself slowly creeping back into it. but, with a different perspective. think i have been sitting in the comfort zone a tad too long, being numb to everything that has been readily provided in my life. and now the dependency on it has been a habit that needs breaking.

even though being in the scene and in the know are now foreign to me, would want to dive further away from the social structure that i have always felt out of place in. was never into the hype and facade of life pertaining to your social status. funny how people can stand wasting their time with pretentious conversations and connections among the meaningless amusement of events.

thankfully, i am in an environment that holds no label, motives or need to impress. being four years in such a home has taught and mould me to be the lady i am today. am constantly inspired by the many lives around me whom has never failed to appreciate me just as i am. but as i recently got exposed yet to another world, i find myself strangely reevaluating every area of my life.

perhaps it is time to follow what has always been a deep and unfading passion of mine without hesitation, procrastination and distraction. as this shift of mindset takes place, will see where it leads after taking the first step. going to focus my heart and mind on things ahead. with everything taking time, surely things will eventually fall into place without any force, strive and second guesses.

there shall no longer be any half past six commitments or hot and cold situations that i have found myself in before. have always known what i want, and instead of holding back and sacrificing for others, it is time to give that a good breaking like mentioned. settling is never in the equation and it will not be for the future ahead. if it is not the best of the best, than it is simply not it for me.

october has been quite an adventure which i never expected nor intended. and now dealing with the aftermath of the experiences, it has truthfully taught me a lot about issues of the heart and the value of life itself. like B said, there is a season for everything, even the ones short lived. as i battle with this reality, somehow or other, answers that could affect everything will soon arise in just a moment.