did not know how much mama's departured presence to the Lord had a soft yet emotionally deepen affect on me. yes, i do not do public crying or any displays of affection. personal much? perhaps so. wells these moments can only be played out solo and behind close doors -- for me at least.
kept replaying mama's good times we have all shared at her place. how she always greets us so warmly and smiling the moment her eyes reach the door. having her unlocking the padlocks eagerly to welcome us in while letting us occupy her space on that famous wooden and red cushion chairs.
even without commuting much in dialect, the body language of her affections was more than enough to spell out love with caps and in bold. do miss her hands rubbing on us while she professes her kind blessings with interjections of "hallelujah" once in awhile.
is just hard to not have that anymore. to realize those moments where only made to be cherished physically at that time. the surrealness is sinking in and taking effect in mourning which hits sporadically. these two years moving back here was for purely ordained for her -- He timed it so perfectly with no quality time wasted.
"mama, sure you are enjoying yourself in eternal paradise with Jesus. you have definitely lived a life worthy to have His name and heart gloried in a generous manner, leaving only a legacy for the next three generations to humbly follow and do even greater.
love you and thank you so much for being the most gracious mama out there. you mama, have made a difference in each and everyone of our lives. He is always faithful till the end."
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