Give me a reason..

I went for CG gathering last night and it was nothing like what I expected it to be! Nothing was wrong with it.. Just that I felt majorly out of place! Awkard is just one of the many words I can descrive of my experience! Yes, I did repeat myself. And yes, I also realized that I was at the wrong CG!


Two thoughts came into my mind:

First was: “Why didn’t I listen to Mum and went for the YWA?”

Second was: “Why is Mum always (and I mean always) right?”


Even getting myself home was a problem! I realized if I was troubling others, then why did I come here for? Why was the trip not even once enjoyable? It wasn’t that I choose to not give it a chance, it’s because there’s not even one oppotuinity of doing so!


Don’t get me wrong here, the people there were friendly and funny but I just feel that maybe I’m really at a different stage of my life and not just being a uni student and worrying about assignments and exams. It’s about being in a total different mindset and diving into the workforce that I'm going to prepare myself for.


I’m really at the last stage of my three week stay here! It has not been going well besides being in the loving arms of my beloved family! Especially Mum, Sam and Ben whom I did not see for quite awhile already! But it’s just them who are keeping me alive over here! Other than that, you might as well say that I'm a 'Perth Hater' who wants to be shipped back home!


Today’s devotion speaks of giving praises and lifting up your arms and thanking our Lord for all the things He has done for us! And know what? It can be really hard at times, especially with everything surrounding you is troubling, worrying and choking your air supply!


Honestly speaking, my first thing that I wanted settle was the Church here. Has that happened? No. Close? Not at alll. This is the most disappointment and discouragement I have felt so I think: "Is there really a point of going then?" I mean since it’s just coming in and going out?


The only thing that I gives me a pure enjoyment (and yes, it should be the main thing) is The Word that's been preached by an awesome Pastor (good on ya Uncle Benny) that just keep givin' me joy and happiness! I reckon He's the best ever in Perth and no, I'm not being biased =P (alrite, maybe a tad bit but still!)


Even Uni was not settled. Yes it was a miracle that I enrolled in the last minute (which was not my fault) but it was not even my intention of even doing so! I just wanted to gain my condeded pass and move on! I even wrote it on my 3 main request that I wanted from Him, and guess now I’m down to 2?


But it’s okay, my Daddy God has better prosperous plans for me. It’s not a matter of time of “Will it happen?” but “When will it happen?” Guess you say,

“He makes all things beautiful, in His time!”


So why can’t that time be now? I can sense that He’s telling me this:

“Patience my child! Just wait.. It will soon come to pass, and so much more!”

Seriously Lord, I’m really on my knees and crying out to You! It’s really only You that can set me free from all this! There is no one else but just You, Beautiful Saviour! It is just all in the frame of seasons and there are much more good days compared to crap ones!


This is my last and only hope to be here and I’m dead serious about this! If anything else happens, I’m afraid that I would have to go back to my well where I do feel comfort and where I take my usual mana from! I really don’t know why that I don’t feel the way that I did in my last church compared to the ones I go here.


Again, not implying that the churches here are not as well – We are all equal in the body of Christ yes? But just saying that I’m just so used to the bread I use to get, that I’m having major and severe withdrawal symtoms! (help!)


Maybe tomorrow will be a brighter day? Maybe tomorrow will be a day of all things good? Maybe tomorrow will be a day where everything works? But how about not having the maybe’s and the yes’s instead?


Hence:

“YES, tomorrow WILL BE a brighter day!”

“YES, tomrrow WILL BE a day of all things food!”

“YES, tomorrow WILL BE a day where everything works!”


Daddy God, You are my only Hope. I trust in You with all my heart! You are truly and only the God who reigns throughout all ages and time! You are the same yesterday, today and forever! I will worship You, and honour You always!


You are a God that is just so indescrible.. Just so amazing! Powerful and just shining with magnifiance and loveliness that no one can comprehend! Your goodness and mercies will follow me all the days of our lives!


“Be God be the Glory!”